maviscjy.

2011-12-15T16:03:00.002+08:00

Did some edits to some stuff and I decided to reopen my blog again. Not for posting religiously, but rather for an outlet to share my own thoughts and feelings as and when I feel like it. No longer dated entries to jot down memories of what I did with whom at each point of time, but rather somewhere just for myself. I doubt anyone reads anyway.

Well anyway, its the holidays again. Time really flies, especially in uni. I remember some senior telling me before that you take so many tests and exams in uni that all of it just feels like nothing at all already. How true. Projects, assignments, tests, exams... All of these just drain away your time and in a blink of an eye its as though nothing even happened. In fact, we're already halfway through the holidays and theres only like half a month left booo )': Im semi looking forward to the next sem only cuz it feels like a restart and I dont really want to let myself lag behind like I did for the second half of my sem 1. Time to get my priorities right again, once school starts. But then again I dont mind just nua-ing and doing nothing without having to worry that Ive something undone.

Life has been treating me pretty well. Been spending most of my time with baby and the remaining bits catching up with lover and dearest, as well as attending cheer practices. This is pretty much the way I like it to be, besides the fact that sometimes I actually wish I have more time for lover and dearest :/ I actually do miss seeing them all the time, but with NUS being located so far off, its sometimes really hard to arrange for just a short meetup or a meal or something. Plus cheer is practically taking up 50% of my nights, I dont even know where to go and find the time :( But then if theres a will theres a way, so I'll just keep on trying !

Sweetheart has been treating me really well I guess. I think I can really get accustomed to living with him. We're hardly ever not together and I'd say this pretty much puts us through the test. The test of having to endure long amounts of times spent together and to deal with whatever differences we are bound to face. I know I haven been easy to put up with cuz I get upset for reasons I dont explain or account for, but since things are still going strong I guess hes just tolerant enough. I always say that guys are stupid and insensitive and all ( Which I still strongly believe in :s ) but I guess if you communicate with them, things get kinda better. Anyway this was the kind of relationship I wanted, where I can spend time with him, get to know his friends, his family, etcetc. :) Sometimes when Im in his arms, I find it so unbelievable. So unbelievable that we've only been together for 2 months odd, cuz I feel like Ive known him since forever. I feel so blessed and amazed that Im in the arms of someone who would tell me he loves me so much, cuz I can tell when someone is speaking genuinely.... When it comes to him, I guess aside from the expectations that I have of people, and the little nitty gritty things that may collide, this guy who'd do little things to give in to me, is just perfect (:

Random thought but I actually think that sometimes its not that guys dont want to do something, its just that they dont know what to do. I may be wrong though.

Through things that happen, I think we can most of the time realize who are the ones that will really be there for us, will be close to us again, will stick with us through it all. Cheer hasnt been easy for me. But through it all I realized alot of things. Things that are within my control, things that are not. Sometimes we just have to learn to accept things for the way they are. Things happen for a reason I guess, they may have happened for a greater purpose. But ohwell, who knows :) For things that we cant change, we just have to accept and adapt. Said easier than done but I guess I just need some self-brainwashing :) I will make it through, especially with my girls' hugs and sweetheart's hand to pull me through.

Alright this is it for now :)

2011-10-11T15:06:00.004+08:00

I haven been blogging for way too long I think its time I did a general and quick update, especially since its been like more than two months since school began and before I know it, the term is just gonna come to an end. Lots of changes have taken places throughout these two months, with so many things happening -_- Quite draining but I must say it has been pretty fruitful and happening :)

Reading back on my last post, I seem to recall dreading school and thinking that it will be a traumatic experience. It was all super negative but now I think life is pretty much awesome, apart from an insane amount of readings. Midterms have passed since ( wtf damn fast doesn't seem like a long time since school started and boo one major exams' over already D: ) and it was pretty much okay, manageable- Though everything ultimately still depends on the bell curve. Projects have been insane and really, the worst of everything has to be readings. -_- Readings are so overwhelming that sometimes I wonder if we are taking some library mod instead. Can go crazy trying to swallow all the readings down and at the end of the day (probably not even understanding what the hell we were reading about) -_-

Orientation was over sooner than I think it'd be, and its been way too long I can't even remember details about it. All I can recall from it would probably be the clubbing night when I died from one martell shot. -_- Puked multiple times and lasted five minutes on the dance floor before I decided to give up and head back to school. Besides that I have no lasting memory for oweek wts D: I thought it'd be hard to part with the people but somehow I don't think the friendships lasted much, other than for a few of them who have the same tutorials as me :)

In contrast, cheer has pretty much been the focus of my uni life. Cheer camp was probably the best camp Ive ever had in my life. It was damn fun and I still remember all the shoulder sits and soap games etc etc. :D Super fun and warm integrating into the alpha family :) Learnt lots and lots of new stunts and got 300 bruises and injuries over the past 2 months but it was super fruitful. Knowing super nice seniors who never fail to cheer me on and encourage me to press on and not give up+hit super coolio stunts that would be impossible for now without them; Interacting with super awesome junior flyers who became the dears and darlings of my lives; Stunting with bases who try their best to catch me and not let me fall (Special mention to sweetheart teehee:)) ... Cheer has just been amazing.

It hasn't been just about trainings and stunting, the alphas have had awesome times together as well. Sentosa outings, movie dates, celebrating birthdays, going for countless numbers of suppers, spending moon cake festivals together... I can't describe it better than saying I love Alpha :)

And of course, without cheer I probably wouldn't have met people like my beloved huilian dear whom I spend almost all my time with even outside cheer time, and elain, janyce and yu tu who have been the nicest people to talk to :) The guys have been a fun-loving group of people you can always talk to as well, namely lionel, xiangyi, chen da and many many more :D And of course, sweetheart :) Not gonna PDA here but Im thankful for you boyf :)

Haven been spending enough time with people out of uni though, but ohwell I guess I'll have to make it up when the holidays are here :( So busy I hardly have time out of school grrrrrrr. But here I am, with my last blog post before I decide to close it temporarily. :)

2011-07-31T20:26:00.002+08:00

After all these months of dreading, the time is here. It will be first august in like, 3.5hours time, and indication of the beginning of school. Lessons arent what's scaring me. Its everything else. I probably would have said this a hundred times but I just thought that this time round, the day before the beginning of my university life, I could just sum up everything that has happened these few months, as well as my feelings towards what's coming up for me... ( I secretly am feeling very lazy but this is the very last thing on my to-do list, besides watching gossip girl so I guess I really will concentrate, for abit at least. )

To be honest, I was really looking forward to orientation, cuz I never knew ( okay damn stupid I know ) that uni was nothing like JC. I mean, in sec sch everyone told us that jc aint anything like sec sch but it pretty much felt the same, cept for the people. JC was much much much more awesome. But anyway, I was pretty much misled by that concept and thus I never knew that orientation in uni would be subjected to limited places ( wtf ) and required signing up on a first come first serve basis. I never knew that in uni you dont exactly belong in a class, you simply belong to a particular module timeslot on a short term basis for just one semester. I knew nothing till like a week back or so, and from then I should say my feelings towards orientation comprises of only fear, fear and more fear.

Theres this strange doubt in me wondering if it would be fun, and when I start to imagine, the images of jc orientation just comes flooding back to me all over again. Even stupid games like whacko were so interesting, with the awesome company of people- who you knew would be fighting alongside with you towards a common goal for two years. This time round its just gonna be... Hi bye friendships. Friendships that exist for a module or two, and others that exist for different modules. It is just SO traumatizing. Or at least thats what it seems like. I just hope Im wrong.

Furthermore, it doesnt help that Im gonna be crashing oweek cuz I just feel damn awkward about it, being really really really thin-skinned. But then again I have no choice cuz orientation HAS LIMITED SLOTS, i reiterate. I simply do not understand why orientation is organized for just a certain group of people. But whatever.

All in all, I just feel really scared, even though Bernice will be around with me. I think its more of the crashing Im scared of )':

These few days have been this journey towards getting adjusted into uni life, even though we haven exactly started. Having to bid for modules using the weirdest system ever, thinking super hard which subjects to choose to plan for the perfect timing, and even having to rank the preference of tutorial timeslots to get a super good timetable etc. All these, are crazy. Im glad bidding for round 1 is over though, afew more years of bidding to go.... LOL I'll probably rock at ebay after that

Alot of ranting I know, but times when Im alone, I think back of the past, of the 8 months since A levels ended. I still remember, 2dec! I dont know what I did the 8 mths that have passed, but I'll sum it up with modelling, vacations and spending quality and quantity time with my friends. I havent exactly told anyone about it, but I feel like the beginning of uni life will make me distant from my friends, especially my special ones who Ive spent soooo much time with the past few months and my babies whom I spent my last two years with :(

These few days I felt so freaking lonely. I cant explain how I feel or whats missing but I just know something is. I used to go out like min twice a week with my special ones, but now that uni is approaching and not even happening yet, its already taking place. Whats gonna happen after uni starts? And it seems like I haven done enough to keep us together. My fault, maybe. I dont think they know though, nor would they be reading, I think. But whatever it is, Im so scared of losing them once school reopens and I just love them ):

And school... Is already robbing some of my friends away from me. People who get used more quickly to uni life, people who are adapting well... Soon we might just forget one another and forget how perfect, or at least close to perfect, school seemed to be. NUS NTU SMU. Sigh

Lots of feelings these days too. But I cant bring myself to go and approach and talk to anyone just in case I give people the impression that Im making use of them as and when I need them. All the while, I thought that its a privellege to have people share problems, issues, and happenings with you. I still do. I never thought that it was a form of making use of someone and I thought that its like a magical connection. But you know what, I still believe in what I believe in. I still think that its a blessing to be able to have people you can share things with, and people who are willing to share things with you.

I know things are gonna change and things happens for reasons and blablablablabla. I pretty much say it very often myself, but seriously why do good things change for the worse and bad things change for the worst? Im tired of trying to salvage things people dont even see as issues, but do exist... Maybe its cuz people arent actually THAT close afterall. Or maybe Im expecting too much

What may come, uni seems like a big jump for me. I guess all I can do is to be open about it, make new friends, try my very best to maintain my current friendships, and juggle everything I have on hand.

This is pretty much a pessimistic post, but I cant be more aware of how its about the way you look at things. Say goodbye to late nights and late mornings, and hello to camps and lessons and cca and studies and early mornings

Many at times I feel upset, disappointed, and worn out trying to keep things together. I really do. Then when I think of what these people Im getting so upset over are doing, probably having dinner or awesome conversations and happy moments with OTHER people, I just... Cant do it anymore.

Sometimes I wanna tell you-guys-know-who-you-are, I really love you. Can we just stay like this, forever?

2011-07-21T01:48:00.003+08:00

There are things I wanna blog about explicitly with regards to uni and how I feel about everything, especially after a particularly awesome day with the people who made my jc life so colourful. I can cry thinking about the past cuz those were awesome moments I never wanna let go, and cry thinking about the future cuz I really dont know what to do without them.

Yeah I will make new friends, I probably will. But question is, will it ever be the same? Will all the people I meet be as genuine? I love the way we can camwhore and help each other and love one another without backstabbing each other. I just.. Cant imagine we're not gna be classmates anymore. SMU, NUS, NTU- Every single one is so far from one another. Even within the same sch, the faculties are so far apart. Even within the faculties, the classes are so far apart. Everything is just gonna be apart already. I cant help but feel super pessimistic.

Im only human. I react to my feelings. I cant think so rationally all the time, or think so optimistically and positively, or feel so numb about everything. I. HAVE. FEELINGS.

I probably will blog more tomorrow cuz I have to go down to NUS for medical check and registration tomorrow. But sometimes I really just need to rant. I feel so bloody damn scared. I wish time would pause, really. Is there any way we could all still be together, every single day? :'( :'(

2011-07-20T02:28:00.002+08:00

Im a person with pretty much alot of fears. More than people think I would have. Since I highly doubt any/many would read this anyway, I guess it does no harm consolidating all my thoughts...?

Each day, I am counting down how long more I have left as a free girl with no deadlines, no commitments, no nothing but all the time in the world to do anything I want. Okay maybe I am not THAT free with nothing to do at all, but rather I will take some time getting used to having to wake up early for class, having class ( wth I haven gone to school or had lessons for like 9 mths -_- ), doing homework, paying attention, blabla.... I sure will miss getting to sleep anytime I want cuz I dont have to wake up early or even wake up at all if thats what I want -.- I sure will miss being able to comment for jobs as and when I want without having to considering if I have anything else on. Sigh.

Yes, it is damn ironic cuz I used to complain about how bored I am and how I wish school starts but I fear too. Despite all the OTHER feelings I get, I experience fear, too. No?

One thing for sure I will regret not having done enough this entire holiday is closely related to modelling. I was super un-proactive in the beginning when I first started and there was this point of time even, when I wanted to quit. I wish I had more courage in me to pursue all aspects of my part time dream in the early part of the year, when I had all the time in the world. I didnt until recently, but ohwell I guess modelling isnt something Im gna give up, even after school starts.

Feeling pretty puzzled and confused about life these few days, as the thought of school dawns upon me. Thursday would be registration as well as the medical check up ( thank god I have bernice for company zzz ) but I dont know, it just doesnt seem as welcoming as I thought it would be. Doesnt seem like theres gna be proper orientation (?) or whatsoever. I feel scared. Scared about school, scared about people, scared about what people think/say, scared of being judged, scared about curriculum, scared about my attitude, scared that I cannot find the same kinda familiarization I found in 7a, scared about every goddamn thing ):

Im even scared about things totally unrelated to school cuz I somehow can still draw an indirectly link. I fear that school would take away friends from me, the ones who are too, gonna be in an entirely new environment ( but possibly adapting to it alot better ). I fear that school will further distant the close bonds I have with the people I love most, with alot less time for them, and with an additional schedule to accomodate :/ I fear that the lack of time I have for the people I love will make me lose them to others. I fear everything that seems redundant but might not actually be that redundant....

Im actually someone thats really scared to lose. I want to win in most things that I do, but dont you? One thing I know for sure, Im someone who dares to face up to my emotions, to what I want. I dare to admit that I may in some way or another, be selfish in one sense or another. I dont readily just let people go like that, I dont readily accept becoming #2 to somebody else.

I dont even know why Im typing this. But one thing for sure, I absolutely hate how Im feeling now.

Will it get better?

2011-07-18T23:00:00.002+08:00

Afew days ago, I really really wanted to blog. But laziness overwhelmed me so much that I gave up in the end. It always happens. I think I want to blog only when I am trying to send a certan message across to somebody, or when I feel really really down. It kinda happened a few days ago, but it affected me for afew hours and tadah its all gone. I guess its the jittery kinda feeling that I felt, fear. Fear of being hurt, fear of history repeating, fear of being able to actuallly predict whats gna happen next. I guess some things stay, aye? Its not possible to just wipe out a certain part of the memory just like that.

I felt happy, sad, afraid, puzzled, annoyed......... All of it. Every emotion that flowed within me was different. But the strongest one was confusion. I guess Im wavered, no longer as certain that whatever was wrong was actually right, no longer stubborn in persisting in what will never happen. I THINK I really grow from each lesson, but a part of me says...

Alright unhappy things aside, the long awaited celebration for beloved miss shirley tan has finally come to a conclusion ! Undoubtedly she spoilt my surprises several times but I still had fun trying to trick her, lie to her, and plan lots of things. All started out on friday night, when I met her for dinner at town after my casting at mediacorp. ( btw it was only then I realized how freaking inconvenient it is to reach mediacorp without taxi/car wtf I walked in -.- ) I didnt tell her where we were going for dinner and TADAH she was totally surprised that its the place she wanted to go to, of which name she didnt even know in the first place ( but I managed to find out HEHEHE ) ! :) Mini shopping and looking at stuff after that, while I made use of the opportunity to dig into her wallet to find out her full address LOLOL. Dinner was accompanied by present opening, of which many of them were empty ( I spent damn long wrapping empty presents JUST THINK HOW HARD IT IS TO WRAP NOTHING LOL ) and it was damn funny. She kept exposing me though zzz. Dinner was at the ship at shaw centre and I must say the food was pretty good ! I really liked my ala ship hahaha :D

Got a heart attack on saturday when I found out that cecilia and co bought lover a bag too. BACKPACK ALSO BLACK COLOUR ALSO OMG. If it was the same one I would have fainted.

We were supposed to appear at her place when she was about to leave for jp, but I didnt expect her to leave so early when I said that I was still super far away-.- Ended up by the time mommy and daddy picked monsteryeo, korkor dearie and laoqian up from lakeside and we reached her place, she was already reaching jp omg-_- I wanted to die I swear but managed to trick her to come back cuz her board was way too big to be brought around. I felt damn retarded when I insisted on taking the lift that doesnt reach her house. LOL. She kept telling me that that lift doesnt go to her house but I said "nevermind just take la. try. " LOL thinking back makes me laugh cuz it was so goddamn dumb please its as though she never knew that the lift can lead to her house while I do. LOL. She got in anyway, together with sharon and tadah there were the guys with my brownie cake with love :D

Heh sharon helped her to put her stuff, after which my "chauffeur" aka mummy and daddy ( I promised her there will be a chauffeur to pick her up from jurong SEE HAHA ) picked us up while the guys cabbed down to zoo. She didnt know where we were going cuz I refused to tell her, till daddy asked mummy "so where are we gg now" and mummy just blurted "zoo" out -_- LOL. Ohwell ! At least I kept the suspense for a longgggg time. Lots of animal photos and all, as we revisited the kiddy days when we visited the zoo on school excursions/for zoologist badge HAHA YOUNG SCIENTIST WTF. It doesnt seem as interesting as I last remembered it to be but ohwell pretty fascinating and such. Probably wont be coming back for what, another ten years? LOL. We were saying the last time we came was ten years ago, and the next time we go would prob be ten years later with our children. HA HA. RIGHT.

Laoqian left halfway cuz he had to bookin booo, but we continued, witnessed orang utans PEE OUTRAGEOUSLY. LOL. Super funny. Cabbed down to bei sheng restaurant and waited for them to open while we bridged at kfc. Miss bridge so much sigh those viwawa days. What happened to free times? ): Everyone's like so busy now I dont even dare to ask for bridge anymore. Lol. The dinner was supposed to be something lover liked cuz shes thai and I think we all did enjoy dinner. Super wuhua place and Im sharing it here ( though it might cause more crowd to their business leading to longer waiting time ):): ) ! We had like 2 WHOLE FISH, 1 hotplate tofu, 1 seafood tofu, 1 fried cuttlefish, 1 pineapple fried rice, and 1 tomyum soup, for only 60bucks-.- Practically one of the cheapest places in singapore you can find restaurant-standard food with AIRCON HAHA. Pays to have visited that place since young :D

Bus-ed down to town with the excuse of monsteryeo wanting to buy BAGUS BAG HAHAHHHAHAHA BAGUS, which he did really buy eventually so it wasnt really an excuse. We booked the harry potter movie tickets like 2 weeks back, but I kept lying to her that we would be watching it this week, so she didnt suspect at all, LOL. Sneaked off to collect the movie tics and we trained down to ps for free ice cream at swensens, claiming that theres aircon there so its more comfortable. Ended up the guys "said that they didnt feel like eating ice cream" so we went to the cathay to "buy movie tics for this week's harry potter" HAHA. I acted damn well I even complained about the guys being so fucked up and wasting our time travelling everywhere and deciding not to eat in the end, just so she would believe me. And tadah we walked into the cinema cuz I already got the tics and she was really surprised HAHA. Super funny LOL she keeps saying how she intended to go watch online if she really had to wait till later this week. Would I make you wait so long lover LOLOL

The show was quite awesome of course, I think nicer than the previous parts teehee, though I have no idea why people laughed at some parts that I didnt find was funny at all O.O LOL. Home sweet home after that after a day of running around trying to hide things from her plus surprise her and all :) I hope she did enjoy herself !

I had driving today with the same instructor I had three lessons ago and I felt pretty confident. Haven been to CDC for like 3 weeks already, and I have another 3 more lessons to go before my test on 6august. Super looking forward to it cuz I feel ready to be a driver already ! But then 6 august also means that its AUGUST BLAAAAAAAAA AUGUST IS EVIL

Met thea babe today for a casting and I must say, shes one of the few people in this industry that I have judged to be truly genuine. All these models, arent simple people. Selfish, scheming, cheap, arrogant, hypocritical... You name it, you got it. But not the good stuff. Some pretend to be nice to you, when they are actually just trying to show off-.- Some pretend to be nice to you, but dont eventually do anything to help you. Some pretend to be nice to you, when actually they are trying to seek something FROM you. Others cant even be bothered to be nice to you, they just act as though they are damn zai and high and mighty. Some stoop down to anything just to get what they want, while others dont have basic principles that they follow- They are willing to do just anything. There comes a time when you get pretty grossed out by everything and all these behaviour and you think like hey, maybe theres no one nice or genuine around. But then there comes the sibei nice rare one like thea ! Heh. I respect girls who take modelling as a sideline WHILE juggling studies. Or rather, at least complete your studies or something, instead of just trying to make use of your beauty ( or the lack of it in some sense ) to make up for what you simply cannot be bothered with. Its just... Gross.

And in this line being mixed blood/ caucasian is a freaking advantage. Maybe I should just say Im mixed. Like maybe my grandmother is some other race. Like anyone would know. LOL. But nah, ethics, though quite afew people say I look mixed nowadays :D:D:D Do I LOL. Mixed blood yeah- mixed blood types-.-

It kinda happens in every single relationship, with that I mean friendship and not bgr, where there are ups downs highs lows peaks bottoms... It wont stay stagnant. The passion and fire burns and slowly it dies down and bla.... It just never stops. :/ Kinda frustrating.

August makes me think of school. School is starting. Am I ready, or am I not?

I am so sleepy Im gna die. Its 1.33am now.

2011-07-13T16:46:00.002+08:00

I was supposed to do my comcard but I procrastinated about it so much that I realized Im just too lazy to sit down to compile photos into a collage. -_- Too lazy to look through photos to search for the ones I like, too lazy to try to resize them till they fit nicely into a rectangular/square box, just too lazy to get started la WALAOZXZCZSFEZF. So I decided to tackle something else on my to-do list first !

I think Im falling asleep typing, but whatever so long it works and I get stuff off my todolist !

Celebration with supposedly my babies last friday, but ended up it was a scam. Okay actually I was pretty annoyed that zhee couldnt make it and mina would be so late and yet we were still sticking to that date. But to my surprise, mel and limmin jumped out from behind a pillar and shocked me with a helium balloon teehee !!!! :) 1, helium balloons are love, and 2, they are love too ! :) Yay headed for sakura, afterwhich mina joined us and I think Im officially sick of the food at sakura, Didnt really eat much that day compared to the previous times. Instead I drank so much water there hahahaha. But still it was a nice and simple birthday celebration over dinner, afterwhich mel was sent home by RACHEL HAHAHAHAHA OUR INSIDE JOKE ^^ Had a good laugh + cry over the mindmaps they made for me and bahhhhhhhh it just made me think of jc days again. Thankyou sweeties love yall :)

Cheongsam event on saturday, it was an experience I really enjoyed ! :) Grand opening for mazzario, and I got to meet really lovely models, as well as don super chio and expensive dresses heh. I loved both of my dresses, especially the long denim oneeeeeee SUPER CHIO wish I could bring it home ): It was like made for me or something, absolutely fitting on me D: The price super chio also though LOL. The makeup was freaking insane cuz the designer wanted it to be alienish but ohwell, on the whole look it was all pretty and I really liked the makeup artist ! I dont have the pictures though sadly, still waiting for the photographer to be done with it ):

Transformers with monsteryeo after that and I thought it was... Okay. Never have been too fascinated by transformers cuz to me its just power rangers and all. I had more fun staring at my popcorn and picking the sweet ones out like I always do. I merely catched it cuz its a "everyone should catch it" show and yeah. It was so so teehee though I think the female lead is hawtttttttt :D

Had a print ad shoot yesterday which ended really really late. It was kinda.. Different though. Fun looking at the others shoot, yet not exactly fun having to do the shoot with all the... Poses. Poses that are out of the ordinary... But ah Im not supposed to say anything about it so you will see when its out on the billboards around! :) It was fun though, spent most of the time chatting around, and especially happy to have met thea and the other models :) Cool looking at the guys do terribly funny poses too HAHA

Feeling a little uptight that its already mid july cuz school is starting really really soon. Glad however, to have bernice as company for medical check and registration and what not since we will be going to the same school and the same course ! :) Heh. But then again theres a side of me that really feels like running away from all these, from reality. Reality to me, has been playing nonstop for a period far too long for me to face the upcoming reality. D:

And time always reminds me that my driving test is coming really soon. Its like half a month away and I haven gone for driving lessons for more than half a month. LOL. I wonder if I still remember how to drive. And I secretly hope I wont fail. ):

You know sometimes you do things for people, hoping that one day you'll receive the same treatment as well. But some things, you know you never will. It just... isnt a fair trade kinda thing.

Off to complete the other things on my to do list ! UGH STUPID COM CARD.

2011-07-08T12:36:00.002+08:00

More often than not, Im really too lazy to sit down and blog about how I really feel and stuff. Even if I have overwhelming thoughts or things that I want to keep as a memory, I just cant seem to bring myself to sit down to complete blogposts. I guess thats probably why almost none of my friends are blogging anymore :S Its just so troublesome sometimes we would rather do nothing and randomly click stuff on facebook and stalk people than sit down to concentrate on a stupid post :S

Well anyway as a short recap since its been about a week since my birthay ( and I have been celebrating it every single day :S ) :) Family dinner at peach garden on friday night cuz it was at a more convenient location and daddy's leg was injured. The food was not bad but if you ask me, not worth it at all. We spent a shocking 206bucks AFTER discount for four. Not really the type that goes for super high grade expensive food so yeah I always weigh whether something is priced reasonably or not and for this, no its not ! :s But still it was a nice and healthy dinner hahaha. Cut cake on sat night, the eve of my birthday :)

Saturday was spent with dearest, doing our fave thing chilling at sentosa ( ironic HAHA sentosa is so NOT chill ) and for the first time ever, it didnt rain ! I always attract the rain when I go to sentosa, there hasnt been once that the rain didnt hit us and tadah last sat was the first exception ever. It was hot ttm wtf and super hard to find a private spot to ourselves after we bought our mat and water from giant at vivo :s Spent the afternoon there talking about things like we always do, gossiping about people and staring at super hot babes and hunks HAHAHA. Wooooooooops it was followed by a little shopping and then dinner after we bathed ( in the showers that kept stopping and produced no water LOLOL ) at asian kitchen teehee ! :) Super love the noodles and the xiaolongbao ! XLB is love :D Had to end the night kinda early though, got some stupid eye infection -.- Must have been the seawater, too many *******(s) jumped in la HAHAHA. It was so bloody red and painful I just had to go home to remove my contact lens like immediately :( But it was still fun with dearest heh she knows my taste the best ! ♥

Went for mr popper's penguins with joseph on monday after he came to pick me up and sent me to settle miscellaneous errands like laminating cards. LOL. It was not bad I think, funny and everything though like any comedy, there isnt much climax or whatsoever. Had dinner at asia grand restaurant at odeon towers, the food was damn good but it cost a bomb so... I prob wouldnt go back there unless mummy took me there or something. Home sweet home after that teehee :)

Met beloved PMS on tuesday ( which includes lober AGAIN HAHAHA BUT I MISS HER ALREADY ) for xlb buffet at holland veeeelige teehee ! Couldnt get a later timing so we had to settle for the earliest one but it was good as usual. Had 30 XLBS HAHAHHAHAHAH IMBA NOT LOL. And alot of luncheon meat + ramen + soup hehehe. But 30 xlbs is no joke I stopped after that and refused to eat even one more. Love everything there though, the service wasnt as slow as on weekends so yay (Y) :) Frolick ( again wtf I had it 3 days in a row ) , afterwhich we went to coffee bean to chillax and play cards teehee :D

After like dno how many months, finally met mich dearrrr :) It was just a simple birthday lunch treat but we caught up alot since the last time we met. Things that happen, incidents that happen to people. They pretty much overlap and all. Sometimes we wish for the same things, dont we? :) Just that bit of comfort and security. But people flaw, it just.. Isnt as possible for every single person.

Gna meet my babies later at sakuraz! I hope I dont get too fat cuz I will just die in the cheongsam store opening tomorrow :/ SOOOO lazy to paint my nails also SIGH. PLUS study and read up about the companyz zomg D:

Alot of times in life, you FIGHT for what you want. You dont just get what you want to get. Even when you fight, you mightn't succeed. But at least you'd know like, Hey I fought.

2011-07-08T03:32:00.000+08:00

This birthday's probably, no, definitely, would have to be the best Ive had in my 19 years of living. Especially ever since Ive grown up and started to take control of my own life as well as started to plan things and organize events for people, I haven really felt the kick of birthdays. But this time round thus far, I really feel the happiness you get seeing people put in effort for you, and go the extra mile just to surprise you :) Ive undoubtedly had the best birthday of my life. :)

I'd probably not go according to the order of date, as to how I celebrated my birthday. Instead, I thought I'd keep this moment with me forever, as I recall how I got surprised by my special ones one hour past 12am on my birthay itself :) I did suspect that they were up to something and did picture them appearing at my doorstep- Maybe its cuz thats what I always hoped people would do for me :) But till it was a little past 12, like say 1230 and lover was still talking to me online, I thought they werent coming and that was about it. But moments later I received a phone call and there were three silly people singing a birthday song for me over the phone and asking me to open the door. HAHA. I was expectedly yet unexpectedly surprised, but over the moon :) I dont know but I just felt that this takes effort, alot of it so thankyou my dears :D Cannot express how happy I was HAHA

Surprise number 2- They got me everything revelant to what I wanted. LOL. Polaroid cammm wheee ( I expect lots of film wasting occasions :S ), charles and keith voucher(sssssss), a survival kit HAHAHA and love letters ! :) We spent the night dno doing what ( I think we played bridge?? ) and caught only like an hour of two of sleep before we headed for laoqian's pop the following morning. Didnt manage to see mi boy or superman though :/ Headed separate ways for a bit until we met up again at vivo ( I'll skip everything in between cuz it was just chaotic/confusing/problematic :S ) and I thought we were going to uss but I didnt expect we would REALLY go there HAHAHAHA. Yayyyyyyyyy super happy not only cuz we went to uss, but cuz I went with my special group of loved ones :)

We took ALL the rides hahahaha all the way from 130pm to 8pm ! :) It was just awesome and different from the time I spent with mummy, daddy and nigel almost exactly a year back. Well I guess thats the difference between friends and family ! Undoubtedly, it was a thrilling birthday for me since I took battlestar galatica on my own. LOL. -.- Super proud of myself teehee, it was damn fun though, especially human ! Cyclone just made me feel like puking. Dinner at asian kitchen after that and it was yummmmmmmmmmmmmy too :D

USS reminds me of genting. It makes me miss the genting days. Actually I really want to go overseas with my special ones again. ANYWHERE would do actually. I just like how we stay up late to do nothing and refuse to sleep cuz we're overseas. HAHA okay or maybe only I like that, I remember how I forced them to stay awake in genting. LOL. I really wonder if we'll be able to go overseas at the end of this year sighhhhhh I hope we will :/

Beloved special ones, thankyou for everything. Thankyou for putting the effort to make me feel like for once, there are people who are willing to do something for me, for letting me feel surprised instead of the usual doing the surprise for others. I can feel all the love, in every little thing you guys did thankyou soooooooooooo much love you all to bits

Days like these, I feel as though PMS is heading my way. There are days you wished that you were a grown up. Or maybe its cuz theres just so many things I refuse to do at my age. I dont really feel like a proper grown up yet, at 19. During moments when I feel lonely and confused about my life as a whole, I just wish someone could tell me exactly what is coming up for me. I just wish I knew what was gonna happen next, wish I knew what I could do to make myself better, wish I would stop making wrong choices.

There are just so many thoughts in my mind. I thought I could get away with it but it all comes back to me once everyone is asleep. Four hours ago I felt the same, just a little better and there came a little comfort here and there. It somehow gives me alot of comfort to be talking to people I used to regard alot about. People like mi boy.... :) Its nice to have people catch up with you once in awhile.

And I thought about he-who-should-not-be-thought-about.

I think I need to sleep. Blog about everything else about my birthday when I wake up! :) I hope I'll be happier tomorrow! :)

2011-07-01T04:08:00.002+08:00

Its 4am but I dont feel like sleeping.

I mean Im sleepy and all but after browsing through some photos on facebook and looking at some profiles, dang Im thinking about alot of things again. I (secretly) think newsfeed sucks. Sometimes you dont want to know about things, or dont want to get reminded of things/people but they just appear and pop up on your newsfeed. Ridiculous things that people say, unreasonable things that they think... Dang reading those just makes your blood boil -.- And the best thing is, they arent even "top" news please?!

Before I entered the modelling industry, I always doubted about the expectations of a "beauty queen" or something along that line, thinking that they only have the looks, but dont have the brains nor confidence nor charisma nor ability to even speak coherently. Now that I am in the industry, I realize that the focus has somewhat shifted. If you ask me, "beauty queens" should at least have some sort of beauty? Yeah probably that definition is subjective and different to different people but... At least not when you look like THAT? -.- And the best thing is that they are so full of themselves thinking that they are oh so awesome.

Or maybe I just look down on people who cross the limits way too much just to achieve what they want. I dont care if its their choice, its also my choice to judge them the way I want to.

Annoying things aside, I met lover yesterday for dinner at holland village so as to commemerate her job attachment, cuz I promised to go to her office area to keep her company for lunch/dinner :S Ended up that stupid girl paid for my early birthday dinner when I went to the washroom. SHE DID THAT LAST YEAR TOO. EXACTLY THE SAME. LOL. Still, crystal jade la mian xiao long bao is still as awesome as ever :) Super miss the xlb buffet hahahaha we were talking about it the entire time and mustttttt go back soon !!!! :) Haven been there for like four months I think ! We tried wendy nuggets after that and it was not bad but expensive and not worth it. At all. Didnt spend much time but I think it was enough for birthday celebration part one ( totally unplanned ) and she tricked me. TERRIBLY. I totally fell for it 100% cuz I trusted her and everything she said was pretty typical and possible of her ( though it might not be possible for other people HAHAHAHHA ) and dang I KNEW IT BUT I STILL TRUSTED HER. I cant believe I got tricked cuz Im highly suspicious of people and I hardly ever get tricked -_-

Is half a year a long period of time? Ive spent half a year doing nothing. It doesnt seem like alot. But for half a school year, it seems like alot. Its pretty amazing though. Ever since A levels ended, Ive travelled to hongkong, taiwan, bintan and genting. Ive started and finished learning driving ( but yet to pass my test ): ) , started modelling and witnessed and insane amount of stuff for myself, attempted to work but failed hahahaha, spent alot of times with my friends and tadah, all these months are over. If I think of it this way, yes six months is a long time. Its so scary how it passed by so quickly.

Sometimes I feel like I dont know what Im doing. Other times, I feel like Im not doing enough. Otherwise, I feel like Im not doing right. Nothing I do seems to be something Im sure of, something that I know is right and something that I know will work out. Sometimes I feel like breaking out of my comfort zone and principles I set for myself, to accept things, to be less critical. But at the end of the day... I just cant. I want to, but I cant.

2011-06-28T22:43:00.002+08:00

I really really really want to blog but Im just so lazy to pen everything down letter for letter, word for word. There were afew occasions on the past few nights when I just wanted to pen down what I was thinking, even though no one really visits my blog besides those stupid tagboard spammers, but there are times when you just feel like... You wanna say something, on your own little platform. But gahhhhh I was just so lazy -.-

There were times during the past few days when so much so much crossed my mind. Maybe its repetitive to what I have already blogged before, or maybe Ive gotten additional perspectives. But in me, there just seems to be an overwhelming amount of feelings once my trigger point is reached.

Maybe its cuz Ive been watching shows these few days ( specifically autumn concerto OKOK I KNOW IM SLOW LOL ) and it made me feel like... Reality is nothing like a drama. Cliche-ly speaking, reality probably reflects a drama. But dramas ALWAYS end off happy, but reality doesnt turn out to be that way. Reality is somewhat cruel and hey, if reality really shadows a drama, I'd think that all pain and suffering is worth it. Sacrifice, love, care- Genuine, without hesitation. But its sad how it wont happen, and well when tears come along it reminds me of everything worth being sad about -.-

Or maybe its cuz its the end of june, which means theres only a month left to august, the beginning of school. I think Ive mentioned this before but its scaring me more and more to think of the fact that school is gonna start, AFRESH, STRANGE, without familiar faces, without dependable people. Not knowing who to be wary of, and who is worth a friendship with. Not knowing if someone would come and tell you ( we ) ( love ) ( you ) when youre crying, or if someone would actually help you with your work when you miss school, or if anyone would know what youre talking about when you say you wanna cp. I know that whining doesnt help, nor does it help to change anything, but meh, I really dont dare to think how school will be like without my babies, without 7a, without my familiar comfort zone. Yes I know I'll make friends but GAHHHH, it still scares me to think of school life without them. Bu ke yiiiiii :'(

OR maybe its cuz my birthday is approaching. Its just a couple of days to third of july and gah Im feeling eeky about it. I mean yeah I know its like, birthday NIA, but it kinda signifies how I officially turn 19 and how Im one step closer to becoming a grownup, and having to handle greater responsibilities, think about things that weigh much more than whatever bothers me now. It may be something more than that, though.

OR maybe its cuz Im just feeling lonely and restless without company. No one to stay up till 5am with me, no one to talk cock with me on msn.... Changes, are inevitable. Since a long time ago, Ive had my share of company, having fun doing various things together. But since a long time ago, at different periods of time, it has been different people taking up these roles. The world is moving on, and time simply stops for no one. After some time, things just fade away, easier than you think it would.

I pretty much did NOTHING the past few days, besides meeting lober on thursday to buy look choop at golden mile, followed by shopping at bugis ( HAHAHA SO HAPPY TO SEE HER BUYING STUFF :X ) and then dinner :) Besides that I spent saturday catching up with guanhao after I haven seen him for years, and had my first ever lunch at coffee bean. Coffee bean isnt too bad actually, its not entirely about coffee, which is good cuz I hate coffee HAHA

And... I will probably be doing nothing much the next few days as well. LOL. I hate this restless feeling but there is really NOTHING for me to do -.-

Okay before I go, dont you think this is beautifullllllllll (:

2011-06-23T04:19:00.002+08:00

Its 4.20am in the middle of a night now, and Im wondering what Im doing awake. On rainy nights like these, I feel especially full of thoughts. The rain always seems to affect my mood and trigger my brain activity. What would you be thinking in your mind, on a rainy night like this? ( Or would you actually be sleeping like most people would hahahahahahaha )

I was just looking at some photos on facebook and began wondering again about girls doing lingerie shoots and what not. I know its like the 21st century now, but I still cannot get how girls can accept letting photographers ogle at them and what not. I mean there are some professional shoots, but you can easily tell a professional shoot apart from an unprofessional one. Why then, are photographers so much more interested in bikini / lingerie shoots? How does it help them display their professionalism in phototaking more? Sigh. Why cant this just be a pure industry the way I wished it was D:

Finally met superglue today after a good three months plus. I dont know why we always fail to meet more often grrrr, even though we stay sooooooo near each other. At the same time, maybe the location of her school explains why it takes even more effort to meet but ohwellz, just glad that we still do :) Just a simple afternoon with her for no particular reason for our meetup, had lunch at hongkong cafe at cine, the first place I ever tried hongkong cafe in my life hahahaha. Reminiscised and caught up about stuff, before walking to heeren to check something out and going back to cine again for suki sushi. We had so much food teehee, at super reasonable pricessssss so Im kinda predicting that we will go back again soon, the next time we meet. HAHA. It sure feels good spending time with someone that seems like a sister, a sister that you may not spend everyday talking to but whom you enjoy spending every precious moment with :)

Couldnt exactly spend alot of time with her cuz she had to leave in the evening so we parted ways when monsteryeo reached, following which we met lober and korkor dearie. Caught "something borrowed" at cine, which was an awesome-ly awesome show. I mean for guys to say that romance shows are nice, I think it certainly means something. ( especially since guys are just creatures whose lives revolve around dota all day long LOL ) And for me to sit still without eating a single thing for 2 hours and yet not realizing that 2hours passed just like that, it means something as well. HAHA. Its gonna be pretty much of a spoiler if you haven watched it yet so if you are intending to ( which you probably should ) please dont go on reading. LOL. "Its a thin line between love and friendship" doesnt really suit the show though, cuz its not as if they arent sure whether it was love or friendship, they just didnt know about their feelings for one another. But I think the show was so real, it made so much sense. Is it about doing what you should, or doing what you want? Many at times, you dont dare to take the risk cuz you do what you should, for fear of risking of losing people/things/statuses... But shouldnt life be able living it the way you want it to be? Then again, who determines whats right/wrong, whats should/shouldnt? I dont like how Ethan ended up alone though, he was a nice guy ! And I dont like how dex couldnt make up his mind but still ended up with rachel -_- It just doesnt work like that. When you cant make up your mind, you pretty much end up with nothing, not something to your liking.

Have you ever gone down a road, far down and wondered, maybe it wasn’t what you want?

But anyway that aside, the show was awesome. Go catch it.

Sigh it irks me that july is around the corner. 1, i hate it that my birthday is coming and Im ready ( or not ) for all the upcoming disappointments already. 2, it reminds me about how quickly uni is about to begin and 3, it reminds me that my special ones are gna start school already and Im gna be all alone again. WHY DO THEIR HOLIDAYS END SO QUICKLY?

Ohwell, the empty soul needs to go to bed now. Its gonna be 5am soon goshzxzxz goodnightyz~

2011-06-22T00:15:00.002+08:00

Sometimes I wish my thoughts can get posted down without having to go to blogger and compose a blogpost all by myself from scratch. LOL. I need a... A thought catcher HAHAHAHAHA, too many thoughts running around my mind all the time, too lazy to jot it all down and poof it escapes ! HAHAHAHAHA.

A super heavy load off my mind today- I finally managed to book my driving test date :) I dont like how cdc is so dictatorial about how many lessons more I should take, its like they are out to earn my money more than anything else. Like really it isnt logical to get someone who doesnt know me/my progress to recommend how many more lessons I need -.- Nevertheless, having completed all my modules, its not like I actually have a choice so yay, 6august here I comeeeeee and I wont spend a single cent more on the stupid school cuz I WILL PASS MY TP :D :D I just hope I wont feel the jitters as the date comes nearer D:

As Im turning 19 in just about 11 days' time, it feels like everything is getting more important. Every little thing in my life isnt just like anything or whatever, its like...... They all matter. Regardless of how little or great something may seem, it seems more important to set it all to perfection and success. Every failure seems to weigh more now cuz theres always a voice in me saying "hey you are no longer a little girl. go all out to do the best you can, dont accept anything but the best from yourself". It just feels as though I can do better cuz Im older already. Being young used to be an excuse for everything, but not anymore.

I dont need anything materialistic in my life. At 19, I think Im pretty mature in this aspect. HAHA. I think if you can carry something off well, you just can. You can be someone very charismatic carrying a bag of a normal brand and have people wonder where you got your bag from. Or, you can be someone that cannot carry off a branded bag and have people wonder if whatever youre carrying is even authentic. Which would you prefer? Anyway does it even matter? I am SO thankful Im not blindly blind conscious. Yes I am saying this in a sacarstic manner. Are you guilty of it?

I think nothing beats the acknowledgement from your friends and family that they care. Letters with heartfelt words mean much more than gucci wallets and what not-.-

But then again, birthdays make me scared. Afraid of disappointment, afraid of expectations. I wish expectations never made their presence in this aspect. Mega ultimately annoying. Wellllllllll all I hope is for a HAPPY birthday this year :) My last 1x birthday SOBZ. Okay actually I dont want to NOT be 18 ): Shao nu shi ba yi duo hua, 19 not hua already :( :( :(

Thoughts, thoughts and thoughts. I spent my last birthday with dearest, in fact I spent my birthday with her for the past two years. Met her on saturday afew days back to shop at bugis hahahaha. Our favourite ! Like we always say, its not about being tan xiao pian yi, but rather being smart about how we shop. Since we almost dont wear our clothes for more than once ever, whats the point of going for branded clothes ( OF WHICH TAGS ARE INSIDE NOT OUTSIDE, MEH. ) ? Hahahahaha love shopping at bugis with her ! Damn fun we always criticise this and that, compare prices and what not and we bought same shirts again :) :) Didnt walk for long cuz she was tired, and so we headed for mong kok hk cafe for dinner, where we just had our usual catch up session :) Attempted to try something new, some double boiled soup with noodles but eew it was just lousy. Maggi mee soup more than double boiled soup -_-

Father's day was on sunday but meh, no pictures cuz apparently I dont think guys really like to take pictures, nor do they like to like celebrate events and stuff. Lol. Kinda weird cuz as a girl I totally like to celebrate everything. Even nothing to celebrate also can find things to celebrate hahahahaha. It was just a simple celebration dinner at pow sing, nomnom as good as ever ! I enjoyed everything and almost died eating cuz dinner was only 4hours after a heavy sakura buffet lunch with my special ones :) It was tough trying to find a date that laoqian actually booked out + everyone was free but it was all worth it ! Reasonable price + alot alot alot of food hahahahaha ate until we almost died wheee. 5KG5KG5KG LOL. Inside joke hahahahaha. Lober was literally bian zou bian chi, she totally doesnt need a seat teehee. Nothing much to talk about though cuz it was basically purely busy eating LOL

And after almost exactly a year since the last time I went to jb was a year ago on my birthday itself, I managed to go into jb again, this time with lober, korkor dearie and monsteryeo! :) It was a terribly early morning to have to wake up but it was all worth the trip ! We kinda took the long way though, not knowing that there were other buses that could take us directly to checkpoint, though now we do ! We travelled a long way to reach little india to gather and then took a long bus ride all the way to checkpoint again -_- It was a good 30+km wth, though it really didnt feel like we travelled that far when we eventually reached. Took 170 all the way in till we finally reached city square mall and the first thing we did - Lunch ! HAHAHAHA IT WAS SO DAMN CHEAP LESS THAN RM100 for the entire meal and we had soooo many dishes in ke ren lai restaurant :) I think its a pretty good deal at a place of that standard, considering that its probably the safest place you can be in jb :) Love eating places like this WHY SINGAPORE SO EXPENSIVE even coffeeshop also cant beat the price -_-

Walked around and attempted to shop for stuff, we actually got similar tees, all four of us ! HAHA. Lober got it in grey, korkor dearie's in black, monsteryeo's in white and mine in yellow ! Super cool vip pass shirt HAHAHAHA YAY WE CAN WEAR TGT ! I cant believe we actually got a special shirt tgt LOL. Cant wait to wear it out together yay ! Got super cheap denim shorts alsooooooooo hahahahhaha glad I took the risk :) Arcade for some games, even their token damn damn damn cheap wth like half the price of sg -.- We headed off for tebrau city shopping centre after that just to explore around cuz its supposedly the biggest shopping centre in jb, and the ride there was pretty scary. We met crazy scammers on the overhead bridge which I really dont wanna talk about, and travelled there via a bumpy and dubious bus ride. Nothing much there but ohwell, we managed to spend an awesome time going crazy at toys r us LOL. We went back after touring the place for abit cuz it was dinner time but there wasnt anything much to eat, so we settled for swensens ( aka seasons -.- ) back at city square ! Like seriously, sgd 5+ for a main course + soup -.- Where to findzxzxzzz. Super didnt feel like leaving the city of cheap food but ohwell we headed back after that and korkor dearie lost his phone on the way bahhhhhhhhhhhhh curse you stupid person who refused to return it !

I mean seriously, how would you feel when you lose something important? You'd wish that the person will return it right? SO WITH ALL THESE BAD KARMA HOW WOULD YOU EVEN EXPECT ANYONE TO RETURN ANYTHING TO YOU WHEN YOU REFUSED TO RETURN SOMEONE'S PHONE YOU TELL ME. I hope you drop the phone and the phone spoils SO YOU CANT GET ANYTHING FROM IT. Why people so bad one !!!!

If only the world was kinder. Speaking of which, these few days I kinda realized that I judge people wrongly. In the modelling industry, its each for her own but... There are people who arent selfish, and are willing to share. And those that I thought would, are those that just pretend that they are more than willing to share WHEN there is the chance ( OH RIGHT YOU TOTALLY WOULD ) , while those that I thought wouldnt immediately shared their sources. Damn I feel so bad to have judged.

But of course, some cheap ones are still as cheap as ever. Its damn obvious really, when some people get jobs after some shots are taken. What link do you expect me to establish between the two?

Havent seen superglue in 3mths wtf, finally gna meet her tomorrow yayness, followed by SOMETHING BORROWED WITH MY SPECIAL ONES YAY. Its a thin line between love and friendship. HAHAHAHAHHAHAHA IVE BEEN SAYING THAT SINCE FOREVER.

Time for the kevin cheng hk show :) Toodles ! :)

2011-06-16T13:28:00.002+08:00

Time really isnt giving me a break, I dont even feel it but its been about half a month since I last blogged. I remember wanting to blog about zhee's birthday breakfast the last time I posted and I thought I'd do it really soon, but ended up now its already 16june -.- In an attempt to revive my dying blog and update on afew interesting happenings for the first half of june ( wtf last post I typed I CANT BELIEVE ITS JUNE BUT NOW ITS HALF OF JUNE ) , plus release some of my thoughts and feelings here while Im feeling pretty troubled these days, I shall do up a post while trying to multi task watching a drama. HAHA

Instead of going by the usual dates in chronological order, I think I'll just blog according to whatever comes to my mind ! Gna try to attempt to finish up as much as I can before I start to get busy for whatever reason it might be :) Had zhee's belated birthday celebration on 29th may, super coolios cuz for the first time ever, we had breakfast ! HAHA. Madness. Like really who has BREAKFAST for celebration hahahaha but then no choiceeeee since everyone has 3001 commitments D: ): It was a pretty new experience though, as we played monop deal while having long johns for breakfast, before exploring nex ( first time for jo and mina -_- ) and finally trying out the bak kut teh there nomnom not bad ! But hated how the cups were so small zzzzzz the bowl was puny ! Quite a cool birthday celebration with pokka green tea theme I think HAHA

Speaking of babies, I met them again yesterday for a pool session, but this time without baby#3 zhee cuz she has to work HAHA. Pooled at bukit timah plaza and I must say it was pretty cheap compared to the places at town and yadah yadah, and the quality of the tables arent like lousy shit or whatever ^^ I quite likey the place and I think baby#1 and #2 had a fruitful learning session full of angles LOL. Nomnom there at some shitass place not worth mentioning before we headed for six avenue to find a tzechar place which kinda disappeared. I swear it was there last time coach brought us there... Ohwellz. Ended up at the beauty world side where baby#3 joined us after her work and we settled for thai spice cuisine or sth sth :X Forgot the exact name but it goes something like that ! The food was quite good I must say, pretty worth the price :D I like the vermicelli and fried riceeee but the tomyam was just so soooo. Kinda concluded that tomyam is not exactly my kinda soup :S But I enjoyed the calamari also yay ! We decided that yesterday was not really a gathering cuz we didnt take burst shots. I dont know what logic is that but to us, no burst shots = not a gathering. LOL so we did not meet yesterday ( right. )

Once in awhile I would look back into the past and think about people I used to be close to, or rather, closer to.. And I always do find it a pity that people drift apart. Yes its a hard fact but true story, people drift apart. No matter how close they are, regardless of how many promises they made, the moment they start taking everything for granted, the moment they start weighing and comparing things... Things start to fall apart. Thus I feel scared, scared that things between me and what I currently have will fall apart, cuz history's bound to repeat, we make mistakes over and over again- the same ones. I dont want to complicate things but what if it becomes like that? Ohwell

Anyway back to where I was, I finally met up with dearest after 300 years, last wed after driving lessons teehee, where we went to catch kungfu panda 2. It brings back alot of memories and means alot to me cuz we caught part one together, approximately three years back, during may 2008 and it was our very first movie together :) Sometimes its how we see things I guess, I can say Im counting my blessings that we still managed to catch part 2 together and have an awesome catchup session over lunch at aoba hokkaido ramen ( which I will never go back to again HAHA not nicez ) without feeling a teeny weeny bit of awkwardness :) Cant wait for our shopping trip this saturday hehhhhhh :)

Another group would definitely be with my PMS :) Even though I meet lover alot alot alot, we have been hanging out with pegz alot less. Maybe cuz of her busy school work, or maybe cuz we just didnt make the effort to enough :( But nevertheless I still feel glad we managed to meet up for cycling at ecp after my driving lesson, where we cycled all the way to changi and back and wanted to die on the way back. I really wanted to die I swear IT WAS SO TERRIBLE -_- LOL had a rewarding dinner at bedok85 after that and we heard that the place is gna be renovated already omgz =( Saddddddddd I LIKE THE PLACE SO MUCHZZZZZZZZ MEH. Cant imagine not having bakchormee to eat for damn long. D: Back home to play cluedo before we went out again to have jalan kayu prata HAHAHA CAN YOU IMAGINE I HAVE NEVER EATEN JALAN KAYU PRATA BEFORE. I likeyz !!! The mee goreng was not bad but I dont like all the vege and what not D: Had a nice chat before we went to beddddddd teehee I like it so much ! Girl talk over a sleepy sleepy night :) Likeyz sleepover we need to do this moar!!!!

Today's granny's birthday, and she will definitely x10000 not see this but I still want to wish her a very happy birthday, and that she will remain as healthy and lively as she is :) I cant really describe my love for granny cuz... She is someone that I dont see as often as I see my friends/my parents, but yet someone that I know means alot alot alot to me. Seeing grandpa like that scares me and breaks my heart even more the way it affects her. Happy that she managed to enjoy the sakura buffet lunch at yio chu kang last sunday ( which was freaking awesome HAHAHAHA please go to yck branch if you are going to sakura ! ) despite all the shit that has been happening all these time and really, all I hope is for her to be healthy and happy :)

I spent so much time with my special ones that I cant even remember already. Lol. Meeting them seems to be such a norm now that I dont even take photos everytime ( which will definitely make some people happy hahahahahaha ) but well I will try ! Ktv with them last friday on the tenth at family ktv which I found was pretty worth, considering it was only 10bucks nett for five hours and with unlimited drinks ^^ I likey ! Heh. We had dinner at the same restaurant we went with peg the last time round but we ordered much more this time yay and ate THE cheap xiaolongbao at smith food centre before we went for our ktv session :D Super satisfying :) Awesome momentz with awesome people !

Besides that we caught pirates of the carribean ( LIKE FINALLY ) on dno which day LOL, only remember that it was at nex with monsteryeo and korkor dearie and we had ramen play for dinner nomnom :D Bak kut teh after that that I mentioned above and... I really dont remember HAHAHA SOMEBODY WANTS ME TO SAY THAT I HAVE STM BUT NO I AM GONNA REFUSE TO LOL its just too difficult to remember every little detail zzz.

Hangover 2 yesterday together with lober, monsteryeo and korkor dearie after lunch at xinwang lolzxzxz tried something new but their fish bee hoon really cmi wth -.- Got daddy's present , after which we walked around and yay caught our movie ! Sooooooooo funny LOL hardly hear lober laugh so much in a show HAHAHA it was gross though. LOL. But that aside it was really funny teeehee ! Worth the watch :) Why is it m18 and not r21? :O We had flying chillies for dinner at 313 and it is from the same culinary group as the one I visited with lober at vivo two mondays ago ! Both have got equally nice fried rice, since it was the only thing we tried at the other side. I dont really like like the tomyam soup compared to other normal soup but I guess it was not bad ! The vermicelli was not bad too but baaaa I think its not worth the price, super ex considering the amount we ate -.- The tofu was not bad tooo but yeah prob not worth going backz :) The one at vivo's more worth it! Kinda into thai food these days for some weird reason D:

Cant remember the little bits and pieces of places we went to and such LOL GOT SO MANYZ but I remember visiting cafe cartel for the very first time with the laoqianz, monsteryeo and korkor dearie on the fourth, after my audition :) It went well but cannot be disclosed so I will not disclose it till... The time is right. Pretty excited though ! :) Speaking of which, I cannot understand how the criteria of "pretty" is fulfilled these days. Theres this someone I really really really cannot appreciate LOL OMG IF SHE GETS IN SHES PROB GNA BECOME THE NEXT RIS LOW LOL. Not that I wanna say but.. bah, she really has neither the character nor the intelligence nor the substance nor the looks. -.-' Okay nevermind so cafe cartel is awesome as I was saying !!! The free flow bread thing is just awesomeeeeeee and so was the pasta with fish, though I would have preferred the fish to be breaded like new york new york's ):

Welllllll I think thats pretty much abt it for nowz. Cant recall anything else AND NO I DO NOT HAVE STM HAHAHAHA. Driving has taken up pretty much all of my mornings for the past week and I am super proud to say that since my last post, I am done with all my modules. LOL. Aka I am ready for my tp but I cannot book my test date yet ( -.- ) cuz I haven passed my ftt, which I fortunately managed to get a test date tmrw. Pretty afraid I wont pass it cuz of the pressure of having to pass it or I wont be able to get a test date for tp before august like I am hoping I would :/ Meh. It really means so much that I went back to school today for an etrial test I painstakingly managed to camp for just now though I was running a fever. And I STILL got lost on my way to cdc after going there like 300 times. Lol -.- My sense of direction is like... (Y) ^^

Worked for my first event ever last saturday and it was pretty fun meeting chloe ! Slack job also HAHAHAHA ADVANTAGES OF THIS INDUSTRY LOL. And I won myself something really huangmiu but well since it was a gift and is a credit for someone who appreciates my sense of STYLE I shall not attempt to complain. Oh and this reminds me I revisited streets hongkong cafe for my horfun and yumz still as good as 2 years ago at imm with lober :D:D

Been running a fever these few days and my post is way too long ( though I might actually still have stuff to blog about but I'll leave it for tmrw when I have too much time to waste at cdc ) so I shall stop here. It doesnt exactly feel nice to have a temp of 38 degrees at night and see 34.sth degrees on the thermometer in the morning. Damn weird.

Too much have been happening but sometimes I think I need time to measure and weigh and find out what is it I really want. I just keep... procrastinating. Aka running away.

2011-05-31T11:32:00.003+08:00

Omg its kinda freaking me out that its first of june already! D: Its been a good 7months since a levels ended omg but I totally dont feel it at all lol. I cant really remember doing much these 7 months, apart going on a few short trips, to taiwan, hongkong, bintan, genting.... And basically everything else doesnt seem to have taken up much time. How did time just fly past like that? And in just 2 mths time its time for uni OMGOMASDOFMAOFMASODFMAOSFD.

I was really excited for uni to begin during a period of time when everyone started school or was working and I was bored alone at home. But then I start to realize that uni beginning doesnt exactly signify company :/ Im pretty scared cuz I dont know anyone from our class or hwachong going to nus fass :( Even so nus fass is so huge I'll probably have to start afresh, like afresh. The last time I started afresh was like in secondary school......... Sigh. All the strangeness. Even though Im gna be open about it and make sure uni will be a bang of my life, theres still this fear lolololol. And of course, procrastination for school to start. Afterall, school to me, pretty much just encompassed my babies and 7a. It just seems weird for school NOT to encompass them anymore :'( Cant imagine that school will no longer be sitting with my babies in a row of only 5 tables, that I will no longer be given the task of bringing food to feed the class, that there will be no irritating guys behind our row who disturbs nonstop........ What is school defined to you?

Depressing thoughts, lol. That aside for a bit, I went for my first driving lesson yesterday ! Yes finally after 300 years cuz daddy's back and he randomly spoke to mummy to let me learn so they just came in to tell me, hey go book driving lessons, outta the blue moon. LOL. Its a good thing though its like they are finally out of objecting against me learninggggggggggg. If right at the start they never objected I'll prob be driving on the road right now already. But ohwell, better late than never and Im pretty crazy about chionging the lessons... Like five lessons for the first week alone lol ! Its fun and exciting though, something to put my heart into after I haven put my heart into anything for a long long time.

I realized that day that Ive been spending my fridays with my special ones, either all of them or at least one or two of them. Previous week was dinner at ion with monsteryeo at menya kaiko ( their ramen is still as awesome as ever PLEASE go try it :D ), while the most recent friday, lober, korkor dearie, monsteryeo and myself had dinner at nanxiang steamed bun restaurant at bugis junction. Man it was something I wanted to try for a long long time but didnt get the chance to. It was..Disappointing though ! LOL. The noodles soup was good, but the huge xiao long bao which I call da long bao...Was weird. It was purely soup in a thick lump of flour and after sucking up all the soup you realize that theres nothing left inside LOLWTH. NYDC ( Nanyang DC HAHAHAHAHA INSIDE JOKE LOLOL ) for dessert after dinner and for my very first visit there, I must say the brownie is damn good ! The rest is just.. blah.

Got the value set thing from sephora with soooooooo many eyeshadow colours HAHAHAHAHA it makes me damn happy cuz its so pretty! Lober and monsteryeo keep saying they can get it from popular at tenbucks cuz it looks like those poster palettes lol -.- Met laoqian and korkor dearie after that and we went for dinner at paradise dynasty teehee ! the queue was uber long but we got there anyway, and it was a wait all worth it ;) Wheee the xiaolongbao is awesome as ever ! So is the ramen I LOVEEEEEE HAHAHA I LOVE THE PLACE SO MUCH :) Was supposed to spend the night out walking around town cuz lober wanted to catch the night rider but we ended up at centrepoint macs :X Walking isnt much of the problem, its the weather dont you think ! But it was so hot there we shifted to lucky plaza macs teehee ! We played (neopets game hahaha) cheat and after afew rounds everyone was cheating throughout-.- LOL. Ended off our night with slapjack which got hands all bruised and scratched and all HAHAHAAHA the macs staff even chided us for being too noisy. It was damn fun though super high LOL AND lober managed to get her night rider home :)

Spent sunday with my babies but I'll leave it to the next post cuz its too wordy already !

One last thought... Who is it that is worth caring for? I really wonder. Yes, people show their care, love and concern in different ways. But then, theres really only one way you can show that you dont care, and dont give a damn. Really. Maybe, sometimes instead of saying it, SHOW it. Dont say you care and show that you dont. It really makes people think twice about you.

Okay Im done here ! Time to... Get some grooming done ;) AND camp my cdc web for more booking slots ( DANG is everyone really so free I think there are tonnes of people camping for slots siaz LOL )

2011-05-25T23:40:00.002+08:00

Sometimes certain things remind us of the past, bring us back to when we were once young. Some may not be the best memories- thats when you get the nostalgic but upsetting moments ; While others, bring you back fond and innocent memories. Those days when the simplest of things could make you happy, those days when the issues that worried and bugged us were actually the tiniest of things that shouldnt even have weighed anything.

Previous nights were upsetting- I blame that on PMS. Tonight, it brought back fond memories, but of course, set me back thinking as well.

Things used to be so simple. When I was younger, it was all about..... Idk, gaming? Although I didnt use to see neopets as a game as much as I saw of maple and what not, but afterall it is a game. In that case, I probably spent mylife from primary school playing neopets, followed by gunbound and then darkeden, and finally maple. I'd like to see those as cheap thrills. From being a personal best score of meerca chase in neopets, to aiming super accurately and doing major damage to opponents in gunbound, to killing vampires and slaying off their heads to sell for money ( wtf ) in darkeden, to camping in maps to chiong hours and hours a day in maple..... All those were cheap thrills ( excluding maple,maple was an expensive thrill LOL ) :O But those were simple times, or at least simpler times.

Now we think about.... When the world will end? How to cope with life and everything..... Its like comparing something really minor with something really major.

Haha okay I know this doesnt conclude anything or doesnt have much significance but hey, dont you miss those days? Those days when things were less about everyone else, but more about the cheap thrills in your own life? Sometimes I like being alone, cuz I dont have to bother and think and infer and get myself all so tired about everything. Bah. But well I guess thats what we grow up for !

As Im aging ( HAHA ) my memory gets worse so before I actually forget about what happened when and whatever, had my very first badminton session with my special ones! After eating like ALOT ALOT ALOT ALOT ( mos burger + sharks fin soup + alot of fish cake + bread at tampines with lober and monsteryeo while waiting for korkor dearie ) , we went for a sweat-inducing session of badminton which brought back lots of old injuries. Cant even remember when was the last time I exercised, if you exclude cycling. It was a good workout though! Meh. The only thing I dont like's that theres no water cooler or food court or whatsoever you can buy water from -.- We went for a rewarding dinner after that, bak kut teh teehee! Theres so much more to try at balestier zomgzfesfiajei. Our usual slacking bridge session at macs after that HAHA I am freaking in love with macs' fries D:

Dinner at bukit timah's mad jack on sunday with the same group of special ones, after dessert with monsteryeo and korkor dearie at ps. The dessert at the store at b1's not bad ! But nothing really special I would say :O Mad jack was pretty much disappointing bahhhhhhhhhhhhhh but I enjoyed reverso at island creamery after that ! Oh and it was pretty funny how lober embarassed herself multiple times at mad jack LOL I bet people thought she was mad- Literally. We had macs AGAIN AFTER THAT OMGSDFIZFZIFEFE. Got down to applying for pdl ( like finally ) on monday and met monsteryeo for dinner after that at fishmanhatten before rushing off hurriedly for goddamn dental cuz of an emergencyugh.

When can disasters stop falling upon me?

I really hate photoshop. Why is it even invented anyway -.- To turn imperfection into perfection? Or to hide the ugly side of a person? Its so deceiving and fake someone just signed in and her picture is totally....................... Not her please. Editted ttm x10000 unless she went for a plastic surgery.

Good photographers on the other hand, dont have to rely on photoshop. Yes, sometimes theres the need to remove some details to make the photo nicer but they dont use photoshop ALL THE TIME. Like that why would people look for photographers? They just need to look for photoshoppers. -_-

Going 2am, on a rainy night. Time for bed ! :)

2011-05-23T02:50:00.002+08:00

Ive been looping "Tonight" for the longest time already. On some nights, certain songs just mean something more. Brings back certain memories, stirs up certain thoughts. Sometimes we tweet them, we post them as facebook statuses, we change them to our new msn nicks... When people ask us about them, most of us will just answer that they are just "song lyrics"........ But actually its what we feel/think at that point of time isnt it LOL. Actually I know but I just never wanted to expose people teehee buttttttttttttttttttttttttttt song lyrics always express how we feel :D Different ones at different timesssss

And tonight reminds me of dumb but fond memories HAHA

I spent last weekend catching fast and furious 5 for a second time with daddy and mummy, commenting about how mia is damn hot throughout the show, and to conclude that amk's fish and co is of substandard. Bak kut teh at balestier was pretty substandard too- There are so many, just which to choose ! Nigel's birthday lunch at amici on sunday, and the standard pretty much deteriorated too -.- Everything tasted just so so :/ Malaya cafe for lunch the second time with korkor dearie, monster yjh and laoqian, but if you ask me it was just average. We caught priest after pool(WHICH I FINALLY WON LAOQIAN IN HAHAHAHAHA), which was a terrible show PLEASE DONT WATCH -_- No climax, retarded and boring. It was followed by baikohken, something I always wanted to try but it was just so so leh. I dont know if its cuz the one at taka isnt the original one but bahhhhhhhhh it sure was disappointing lol. Ive come to realize that the entire sat and sun revolved around food HAHAHA

Doc's appointment at on monday morning, accompanied by monster yjh, following which we had prata at the prata house located at thomson ! It was not bad if you ask me, but I prefer like chewy prata as to crispy prata. HAHA. Hans at thomson after that and it was just food and more food till we met up with korkor dearie and laoqian ( yet again LOL ) for a nua-ing session at my place the whole day. Simple times, simple moments, lots of bridge sessions. Yay ^^

Healthy lifestyle on tues as we went for cycling, after lunch at fish and co express. I like it much more than the real fish and co HAHA. We went to pasir ris instead of the usual ecp cuz I wanted to play with the swing, which we did in the end for a short moment. Super crowded cuz of the public holiday and the place was just..... Super packed. Got into an accident with a guy who crashed into me at full speed and gahhhhhhhh my knee is still wounded till now. I can say its my first accident since I learnt how to cycle 2 years ago. LOL-.- We went quite a distance I must say, and ..... It just brought back lots of memories when we cycled past aloha loyang. That must have been when everything just started flooding back hahahaha. No matter how long time has lapsed, some things just cant be erased. Some places, some moments, some scenes....... They dont go away, do they?

Thank god for you lover xoxoxoxoxoxoxo :)

I just hope bad thoughts will go away. Telling myself its just the pms and not the beginning of a new chapter of unnecessary sinking thoughts. Pretty disastrous.

At 3am, what could I possibly be thinking of besides......... SLEEPING? LOL

Sometimes, do you wish life could be a little more perfect? Just a little more.

2011-05-21T23:24:00.004+08:00

You know, I always feel like blogging. There are so many occasions by which I have lots of thoughts in my mind and I think, Okay I shall sit down and blog about it all... But in the end nothing comes out. Most of the time my thoughts are so jumbled up I find it near impossible to organize them. Otherwise, it'd be that in the midst of thinking, I realize that the statements I want to make dont exactly hold cuz there are other perspectives and sides to it :O Thats exactly why Ive been procrastinating for the week and there has been zero updates since then. Ha ha.

These few days, Ive been in a really cranky mood and all and so much so much have been going through my mind. Ive been thinking about everything from my life to dealing with people to the past.. Everything.

Once in awhile I start to wonder, why did whatever once happened happen? Things happen for a reason, but till now I still havent found the reason why it happened, or the reason it happened for. I dont know how things can develop so quickly and deteriorate so rapidly at the same time, but whenever I think back and the memories flow back, I cant help but notice how quickly everything happened. The implications that lasted till now and the things that I hear about even until now, cant help but make me wonder if there was more than that to it. But why is it so everything happened so quickly?

When I look at past photos, even those that are irrelevant to you, so long it corresponds to the period of time when you left me the deepest memory, I think of you. When I looked at volleyball photos taken during the competition period, you came up in my mind. It somehow hasnt really left my mind that you were my greatest focus during the entire period. No I am not emoing over you, I just happened to think back, reminiscise and wonder.

Dear senior, I wonder how you are? Are you happier now? Have you let go of everything you once couldnt? Are you surviving well wherever you are? Are you enjoying your life? Is everything smooth? I wish I had a telescope to look (dno how many kilometres away) and find out how you really are :') I miss you

If theres a will, theres a way. Is this really true? I think its true for some things, but not for all and not all the time. Mostly, it isnt. It only applies for things like... "I will finish my homework" and not "I will be able to produce quality work with correct answers". Not everything is within everybody's ability. Too bad I couldnt do miracles to make everyone happy. Too bad not everyone could perform miracles to make me happy.

I have expectations, alot instead. There are so many things that offend me, piss me off and everything, I doubt I could ever be done listing all of them out. I am so temperamental and everything. Im just not your girl next door. I have a fiesty temper and an unpredictable attitude. So.... Dont love me. Its not worth it :)

Baaaaaaaaaah I wanted to type so much more but you know what, I lost track of my thoughts. Again. Ohwellz I shall leave the rest to tomorrow.

Ohyes my cleo swimsuit shoot's out in the june issue already teehee. Nothing big but.... I still feel a certain sense of happiness. Its like the first little step out :)

2011-05-14T00:34:00.002+08:00

I wanted to blog this afternoon but goddamnit, blogger was down. Was full of stuff to release from my mind but now, ahh they're mostly gone. LOL.

Juniors' finals on wednesday- The girls lost, and thus settled for second place, while the guys won and emerged as champions. When the girls lost, I felt this overwhelming pain for them, but when I saw their happy faces, I stopped to think again. Does this title really mean so much, or does the effort and journey with the endless memories they went through together mean more? I am sure its the latter. Hence it didnt really matter I guess. They went through it, they tried, and they're happy. They felt the bond, they felt as a team, and regardless of what other people say, nothing matters ! :) Andddddd I feel happy for them too :)

I start to think back about the past, when results meant everything. Winning seemed like everything. Thoughts about how the most important thing should be about the experience, only came into my mind as a second option to fall back on when winning- the first option, didnt make it through. We kept fighting and fighting and fighting, to shine, to prove ourselves, to WIN, in every way we could- internally, externally.

After years of fighting, it was only till the last that I realised I didnt really wanna fight anymore. What I enjoyed, wasnt to win... It was something else. I guess thats how volleyball helps us to grow up? :) Nevertheless, Im happy for the juniors, they are always the champions in my heart :)

There hasnt been much peace at home lately, its been war from time to time and... I dont know whats going on through his brain. Yes we have conflicts, fights and arguments but from time to time, he does nothing to make up for whatever he has done- whether hes right or not. I used to side him all the time when he was say 10, when I felt that he isnt heard. But ever since he was able to really take control of his life and generate thoughts of his own, he hasnt exactly been the pleasant little boy I knew. Other than the perhaps, 7 years of his life where he didnt have control over, he was more a nasty guy than an adorable little boy. I will not discredit the 10% of the time where he is awesomely pleasant to be with. But other than that... I really dont know what to say.

I am not here trying to flame my brother or anything like that but... I just wish he knew. Turning 16 in 1 day's time does not give him the right to behave like that. Yes he can have his bad times but theres a limit to how far a person should go. Especially when hes totally in the wrong.

Because it is such a picture-less post, heres one from my photoshoot 2 weeks back :D I like that series alottttttttttttttt :) Sometimes its like, every chance is a opportunity given. Nothing should be taken for granted.

2011-05-12T01:57:00.002+08:00

Yesterday's follow up was terrible. Today's was great. I cried like mad yesterday cuz it was so painful, far worse than the first day's op -.- I wasnt given any jab to numb the pain and the doctor just took the goddamn wire gauge OUT OF MY EAR, did washing and then PUT A NEW WIRE GAUGE INTO MY EAR. I kinda touched it and it was a piece of metal omfg. I went to the clinic today with extreme fear but it ended up being so much better than I thought it would be ! It did hurt when he took it out but it was so quick, like 5times faster than yesterday and the pain level was soooo much lower. Im so happy that I dont have to go back again tomorrow and theres no more wire gauge in my ear ! YAY till the next apptment next week !

Maybe its true that its healing thats why Im feeling so itchy. I hope it is ! BUT THEN IT SERIOUSLY IS VERY ITCHY AHHHH I WANT TO SCRATCHZ.

Met the babies yesterday at holland village for our dinner date to celebrate mina aka baby#2's birthday! :) The three of them were semi lost while I waited for them there cuz I took a cab. HAHA. We walked around holding her huge board like a retard while deciding on where to eat and soooooooo we settled at this western restaurant called breko ! I somehow think it was a good choice HAHA

The atmosphere was good and it was super cooling with aircon + fan so say goodbye to the terribly terrible weather we've been facing for the past few days. (DAMN JIALAT I SWEAR, cant even stand five minutes out of aircon room unless theres really no choice -_-) They have such a wide variety on their menu that we didnt know what to choose HAHA and they have like lots and lots of weird sounding drinks LOL. I think the prices are really reasonable! I had goldfish ^^ Zhee had some chicken with bacon bits in between thing and the two older babies ( ahem OLDER =/= more mature ) had hawaiian chicken :D

I liked my fish teehee, the mash potato was awesomez too, I dont like the pasta salad side yucksxzxz. Talked rubbish over dinner and passed mina her UNDERWEARS HAHAHAHA. I failed to secretly light up the cupcake under the table, to the extent that someone from the other table offered to lend me a lighter -.- LOL. But it was funny trying to keel the raving-rabbits-alike-rabbit :D Had our usual camwhoring burst shots WHERE THEY KEPT BULLYING ME. Okay just cuz Im the youngest doesnt mean they can collude ): LOL. I was the poor thing walking here and there to set the timer and yet they still collude against me GRRR LOL but it was super fun HAHAHA whats a gathering without burst shots ( as quoted by baby #1) ??? :D

We decided to walk back to buona vista mrt after that instead of taking a bus cuz they kept complaining how full they were. Before we parted we wanted to get people to take a photo for us but we got rejected time and time again. IT WAS SO FUNNY I SWEAR HAHAHAHA ESP THE FIRST WOMAN I WILL NV FORGET THAT LOOK ON HER FACE. And she looked like miss kim ! LOL. She actually said no to us, and so did a second angmoh guy. The third group that agreed to us consisted of awhole lot of people, so that means a GROUP of people watched us take a photo. YAY. It was super funny HAHAHAHA but ohwell, huangmiu happenings with huangmiu people ! :)

Simple dinners with awesome babies, yay I like. Birthdays are already special, when youre with extraordinary people :) Im sure mina liked her present she was so amused by her own faces on the board. LOL.

Andddddddddd its already 210am zomg. I am super the sleepy and yes I am going to bed after a long long day ! SO SHAGZ

There are times I keep quiet, and there are times I make comments. Different times are due to different situations. Like I always say, I have my reasons :) Its for the best :)

Siao liao my ear damn itchyxzfhasughaiwefiawehfi

2011-05-08T22:17:00.003+08:00

Today's mother's day, but we didnt exactly like celebrate celebrate, mainly cuz nigel's having his exams and our original plan to buy dinner to granny's place was disrupted upon knowing that granny's bro had a stroke... Sigh. Why like that??????????? Why these kinda things keep happening? One after the other.. Goduncle then grandpa then granduncle....... :/ Life.. I hope hes okay cuz I didnt get to see him at the hospital ! Nevertheless, I hope he'll be well soon AND I hope that granny and mummy had a wonderful mother's day :)

Yesterday was a day at town with mr monster :) Got baby #2's presents all around town heh thank god he kept me companyyyyy cuz we moved from cine to 313 to plaza singggggg and it was hot like mad -.- Got tickets for fast and furious 5 at some axs machine, so we proceeded on to waste time at ps's food court where they had the soup master and pontian !!!! YAY I LOVE SOUP MASTER they are like everywhere now ! :) Heh. Convenient and super accessible I get to drink my soup when I want it !!!! We spent our time pk-ing kartrider rush ! HAHAHA SO IRRITATING HE ALWAYS WIN ME. There was once when it was by like 0.01 ! ZZZZZZZ was damn irritated so we continued as we moved on to marina square's swensens for dinner :)

We were super addicted throughout please, kept playing and couldnt even have dinner properly HAHA. I hate swensens's serving size, its damn tiny I swear. We shared a fish and chips and a chicken baked rice PLUS two scoops of ice cream ( OF WHICH I ATE RUM AND RAISIN THE FIRST TIME IN MY LIFE AND ITS GROSS ) and I was still hungry -.- Moved on to han's for toast plus half boiled eggs HAHAHAHA THAT IDIOT DOESNT KNOW HOW TO CRACK AN EGG ZZZZZZ super joker he caused a whole mess on the table I wish I could show you how he tried to break open the egg-.- LOL. Ended up at bao jin tian for the shark fin dumpling soup I was craving for teehee ! Their polo bun is super grossssssssssssssssss. Okay just in case you didnt realize we went to 4 places for food in a short span of 3-4 hours LOL -.-

Okay so.. Fast and furious 5 ! The show was so highly raved and we wanted to catch it so badly that we just took whatever seats that were left available- at least they werent in the first row. Third row seats lolzfsjfiajef but then we still went for it in the end teehee. At first it felt a little uncomfortable but I kinda got used to it in abit and no doubt, the show was awesome !!!! SUPER EXCITING AND COOL HAHAHAHA my adrendaline was pumping throughout LOL. The safety vault damn cool I swear its so powderful LOL. AND DOM. DOM IS SO CHARMING. MIA SUPER PRETTY ALSO HAHA. It took me some time to find someone I found most charming cuz almost all the guys look the same -.- LOL. But I realized he damn fierce HEHE SO I LIKEY HIM ! Please go watch it if you havent, theres a reason why its sooooo HAWT :D Right but by the time everything ended it was late so there wasnt public transport anymore and I felt soooo bad to monster cuz he ended up having to take a cab when the original purpose was to keep me company -.-

Anyway when I got home I realized that I left my plastic bag full of mina's presents in the theatre -.- But no matter how I tried to search for gv's number, I couldnt find anything. All I got was this 19009121234 number that couldnt even work. ZZZ. Its so weird cuz when I used korkor dearie's phone to call this morning, I got a different response from when I used my phone -.- Mine was totally hung up while his told him to call 1633 LOLOLOLOL 1633 STARHUB WTF. I STILL CANNOT UNDERSTAND HOW A HUGE ORGANIZATION LIKE GOLDEN VILLAGE CANNOT AFFORD A PROPER HOTLINE/CUSTOMERSERVICE OFFICER. They need one. Okay anyway I went down all the way to marina square early in the morning to try my luck, hoping that the items wouldnt be missing and got a shock of my life to see korkor dearie there -.- Felt mega bad cuzzzzzzz he went to help me find too and yay thank god we got it back :) Lunch at hongkong cafe after that heh my usual papaya soup noodle yumz ! Popular after that to buy my materials for magic and then home sweet home after thatttttttt :)

Theres pretty much nothing on my mind except for my ear infection. It is getting so huge that its sibei bothersome zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. I cant wait to get rid of it, operation here I comeeeeee. Im so scared but I really want to solve the issue. I hope its gna be okay.

2011-05-08T03:47:00.004+08:00

I actually didnt quite want to blog at 3.45am in the middle of the night when Im tired, restless, in pain and full of emotions but what better time to blog than now, that the elections have just ended and my mind is fresh from reading like 300 comments and different perspectives by different people...

To be honest, before today I didnt give a damn about the elections. I mean, of course Ive heard about the people who were given more media limelight such as tin pei ling and nicole seah, lol. But other than hearing about them I didnt really quite bother already. Afterall, I dont really care about politics I dont get to vote anyway! PLUS I didnt receive 600bucks to get myself involved in politics for a week. But today I really felt so much about all these political stuff lolol. Maybe its cos of all the hype about GE, or maybe cuz today is really special cuz its mina's birthday. HAHA. Anyway I really feel that the system of the grc voting thing is seriously flawed. I dont know the rationale behind it, but I just feel as though the system should be about voting for the correct people to represent the nation in the parliament, afterwhich these people are given various grc(s) to look after, instead of having to vote for full grc(s) that may consist of both useful and not-so-useful people, and this ends up in an overlap and results in a waste of resources -.-

This time round I really like how we are allowed to use media and the internet and what not to convey our messages and wishes and opinions openly. Its so fun and gets all the youngsters involved as well. Tin pei ling getting into the parliament has stirred up a big hoo-ha while george yeo on the other hand, cannot continue being an mp anymore. Sigh. What is the world coming to? But well since its over, Im glad I dont have to hear anymore about elections YAY

More related to personal matters, I paid singapore general hospital a trip this morning and kinda concluded that my ear infection will probably not get any better even with an increased dosage of antibiotics. Mentally prepared that I have to go for an op already, if it doesnt get better by like tues, after mina's birthday celebration. So yep hopefully everything will be in place and the pus or whatever infected thing inside can be 100% removed. So sick and tired of taking so much medi and watching the swell get worse each day-.-

Wednesday was... Settling of the work stuff and ending it once and for all without having to step into the office ever again, followed by visit to the doctor's with korkor dearie's company, and then learning a new game of 2 man daidee which was super fun ! Heh. Pontian wanton nomnom, plus yummy bakchormee at koufu at tpy central, following which we trained down to meet lober at bugis where we continued to play our game and had j.co donuts and fishcakes as forfeits LOL. Nowhere near forfeit-like but it was fun anyway ! We were supposed to go for let's sweets buffet but realized they really ONLY serve desserts so we gave it a miss and headed for our favourite food court instead TEEHEE. Soup + fish + ban mian + eat nonstop together with our card games YAY. I really like bridge but theres always not enough ppl lol ):

Lober and korkor dearie went back first while I stayed with monsteryeo for a teeny weeny bit of shopping heh and walking around, while thinking about what to eat for dinner LOL. Settled at mongkok hongkong cafe and YUMZ we shared portugese fish baked rice and it was super duper nice LOL. Can easily sweep another one right now HAHA. Besides that we shared 2 milk tea, of which one was way more ex but both tasted the same lol. And and and we shared this crispy toast with ham and cheese thing which was damn nice YAY I will definitely go back again ! Superb place :D

Ytd was dinner at wan chai hongkong cafe with monsteryeo and korkor dearie which was just so so, the baked rice was totally sauce-less and cheese-less and service was non existent. LOL. Dessert story after that + xiaolongbao+ alot of random food while we were walking to pass time before our movie- source code ! HEH. It was good ! Cool but unrealistic, abit like inception , but I still think inception is the best LOL. Nevertheless its worth the watch but coming off screen soon so you prob should go catch it if you havent ! :) :)

Ive been watching so many movies the past week that I can barely recall doing anything else besides watching movies. The special ones together with myself have different phases of things we do repeatedly across a short period of time. I think now is the movie season. HAHA

Sometimes this is what I want it to be, but sometimes, its not. IF only this was in the past

2011-05-07T01:57:00.002+08:00

My ear is hurting so goddamn badly that I dont know what to do. Im trying to do this just to pass time so that I can take my vitamins after an interval since Ive just taken my antibiotics. Just in case you might be wondering why I keep complaining about my ear, well the pain isnt as superficial as it seems to be. This pain has brought about painful expressions to my face and if you ask me this excruciating pain is only second to ankle sprain. Lol. Theres this hole in my ear which I apparently had since young but dang, it never really brought any problems to me, except a little pus like thing once in awhile, but no pain at all. Now it has grown so huge that I wonder whats inside. Zzzzzzz and its sibei hard SIGH. Super worried :'(

Meanwhile I shall just blog a tiny bit to clear some backlogs while trying to distract myself from the pain sigh.

Spent sunday with the family since it was a long holiday and daddy wanted us to spend some time together. Lunch at paradise dynasty, yes AGAIN HAHAHAHAHA BUT IT WAS SO AWESOME I SWEAR. We got to try alot more things compared to what we normally do cuz there was four of us and of cuz, cuz its mummy and daddy paying teehee but it was really nice ! Nomnomnom. From the top, we had beijing pork dumpling x2 which was almost as awesome as xiaolongbao ; xiaolongbao which was as good as ever ; carrot pastry which i didnt try ; shanghai pork bun which was yummyz ; shanghai fried rice which was damn good ; chicken ramen and pork rib ramen which was as nice as always ; garlic fish which paled in comparison ; veg which i didnt eat, szechuan spicy chicken which I found too spicy for my liking, and scrambled egg white with scallop and fish which I adored :D

Basically everything was nice HAHA and we had our souffle and egg white ball which consisted of banana and red bean inside- yumz ! HEH. Damn fulllllllllll and satisfied I totally think I can be their embassador already! HAHA. Went home to rest or something and then I fell asleep all the way till "supper" time when we went out for dinner- tiong bahru bak kut teh at geylang, which was not bad compared to those at balestier ! Totally worth going back again hahahahaha and we went to nex to searh for my hiphop jelly ice cream but couldnt find it ): BUT NOW I KNOW WHERE TO GET IT MUAHAHAHAHHAHAHA IT IS AWESOMEEEE

Met monsteryeo and lober on monday cuz it was a public holiday, yes labour day ! Heh spent our whole time eating nonstop at 313 while waiting for lober to arrive, refilled god knows how many bowls of bak kut teh and drank so many cups of soya bean I have no idea how much money I actually wasted there. LOL. I dont actually remember how we managed to spend our time there but I kinda recalled just playing games and talking nonsense with him until lober came and we continued to eat, before heading to cine for thor. Thor was good ! I like it heh. Super cute and funny also HAHAHAHA GET ME A HORSE. LOL. It was quite awesome imo, considering that it is neither a mindfucking show nor a romance movie, the two kinds of movie I likey heh. Please go catch it if you haven watched it yet LOL. Supper at hongkong cafe after that yumyum but they took away my favourite mian xian ):

Alrighty I think its time to take my second dose of medicine, before I go to bed and visit the doctor's again tomorrow morning. The pain is killing me.

Mentally and physically.

No, I am not intending to make a decision. EVER.

2011-05-06T01:41:00.002+08:00

Im not a noble person who forgoes my own happiness for others' happiness. But at the very least, I put myself at the back of my mind, and only put myself into consideration after considering how to make a and b and c (and d and e and f and the list goes on since Im just speaking about this in general) happy simultaneously. There are times when I go all quiet- Those are the times I suddenly wonder "what about me? Am I happy?"

There are moments when I sense things I dont speak about, and certain things spark off my "WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT" feelings. I can neither do some things, nor not do anything... So what choices am I left with? -.- I wish I could make everyone happy but Im so torn apart at times. Im sure we all learnt in school about conflicting goals? So now try to empathise and understand- Im already trying my best.

I know this is not exactly the best thing to be thinking about at 1.47am but this about consolidates my thoughts for the entire day.

Be thankful and contented. The happiest person isnt one who has got everything he/she wants, but one that is contented with everything he/she has.

That aside, happier things like meetings with the special ones. Lober didnt join us on friday cuz she wasnt feeling well so I kinda started my day with zee monster after my interview at taka. He came down to find me at 313 where I bought sth at f21 where I almost lost my phone for the second day consecutively. Early lunch at paradise dynasty where he tasted the best xiaolongbao everrrrrrr and wanted to order a second long HAHA. But yay its always soooooo super good ;D Pool session with him after that when I took my revenge like TOTALLY HAHAHAHAHA YAY! Had to rush off to sign a document so he kept me company, afterwhich he lured me to bugis cuz we had nowhere better to go, but ended up not wanting to shop at all -.- Tmd LOL korkor dearie joined us after tt for dinner where we had a feast at food junction with the moneh that the government gave out to him LOLOL. Daidee and our usual stuff and yay happy day!

Spent saturday with dearest- Shopped the entire day. First was the flea at scape, haven been to a flea since what, last year? I cant even remember when already. Used to be so crazy about fleas but ever since I realized how impulsive they can cause people to become, I kinda realized that there is no point indulging in cheap but rash buys lololol. Anyway I managed to get something thr though HAHA, following which we headed to city plaza to shop, and then back to bugis. Bugis street was good though I like the whole placeeeeeeeee wheee we shopped non stop for like 3hours and were only done with half the place. This is what you can get from shopping with someone who has an eye for clothings teehee. It was fun I swear :) And then back to geylang area for frog leg porridge nomnomnom! Spent lots on cab that day though, I think the two of us look stupid so the cab driver keeps trying to cheat us? Must be. Keyword: LOOK. We ARE NOT. Simple day but I hope dearest likes her present teehee esp the scroll (:

Okay I feel tired already. Its friday once againzxzxzxzxz. Aka pre-mina's birthday, speaking of which I had so much fun trying to brainstorm abt ideas with baby#1 just now WHEEE. Cool ideas that are bound to make mina laugh HAHA

And my ear still hurts just as bad. Even after painkillers. Sigh.

2011-05-05T12:12:00.002+08:00

Ive been neglecting my blog for a pretty long time. Spending almost everyday out ( and maybe with more or less the same people ) , so much so that Ive already forgotten which day I spent with who/doing what. Nevertheless, so much has happened especially across the past two days I decided I should just yi kou qi blog about everything. I hope I remember actually !

Went back to school the previous monday to watch the juniors train for abit, though the main aim was actually to go back to have dinner with kelly and aina and luvvv plus have a short short catchup ! Looking at them train reminds me of back then, the days when we had to endure through trainings and suffer the horrible pt sessions blabla. Time really flies its been a year since that happened, and about two years since I was at my golden period where volleyball was really THAT important. Now I think my determination and perseverance have all been destroyed, I doubt I can even hit a simple ball now. Lol. Those were the vball crazy days and these are the ihatevballlikecrazy days~ :) Dinner at curry wok nomnom first time I ate there after 2 years in hc, plus island creamery ice cream at burger shack ! Also first time HAHA

Spent my tues going down to the most hated recruitexpress and travelling to the hospital cuz grandpa was said to be in critical condition, but thankfully he is still hanging on in there now. Sometimes I wonder how he actually feels abt everything cuz he cant respond or express his thoughts much. Is pain more than life or life more than pain? Sad thoughts aside, I spent the whole of my wed at home doing dearest's birthday letter/scroll, which ended up to be taller than me HAHA. It stretched out to be the length of my entire bed LOL super kewl

Met korkor dearie on thurs to buy stuff. Hate the ezlink card fares now that Im no longer a student. SO DAMN CHOR goddamnit. Ps to bugis and back to ps again, along which we played a trick on lober and monsteryeo HAHAHAHAHA they thought my phone got lost cuz a guy picked up the phone LOLOLOL. Super funny ! All of us met finally, at the cathay to catch the roommate. I think it was a pretty good show ! Super unexpected plot, though gross at the lesbian-y moments and I swear the main char ( not the crazy bitch ) is super pretty !!!! Not a bad show to catch ! Dinner at zhong guo can ting at chinatown after that and it was all worth the moneh :D Horribly generous servings at only abt 15/person at the end of it all. Teehee ! And seriously, who gives the ju hua together in its flower form with the ju hua cha? LOLOLOLOL

Im gonna skip friday-monday for now, and go straight to tuesday, my first day and last day of work. Honestly speaking, I never expected to quit so quickly cuz I really liked the working environment of the office, my own space, my bosses, and ... basically everything. Though it was supposed to be a one month job I foresee(d) myself working till the end of july before uni starts. Afterall Im pretty patient and I thought I could last out. Morever, one of my bosses were one of the shooters who shot me before and I just found it pretty cool, the work of fate. However, the nature of the job was so.. guilt pricking that I quit after a day, ending up in a huge load of mess that daddy helped me through eventually, thankfully. It was a horrible rollercoaster ride for me, having to cope with my "evil duties" plus ridiculous reactions people gave me, it felt damn terrible. I cried so much for the past few days but Im soooo glad that its all over now

Thankful for korkor dearie and monsteryeo who kept me company (+ watch me cry) on tuesday night, following which we had a massive feast ( or rather, I had ) with at least 7 bowls of bak kut teh and alot more food teehee. Grateful that Im not alone during times like these :)

Got this swell on my ear now that the doctor refers it as infection of the sinus. It hurts so badly and it feels like a gigantic pimple but I cant squeeze it. It is so intolerable that I can die yay. Hate it very much HOWWWWWWW CAN YOU GO AWAY SOON PLS SIGH

Gna meet baby in abit to come up with baby#2's present! Cant wait actually I like to get my hands onto such things HAHAHAHAHA. Yes for birthdays, especially those that are planned early ;D

Sometimes I know more than you think I know. I wonder if you know that I know but I really know so much."you" refers to you in general, more than one person in fact. I am good at this I swear. Been there done that.

But whatever I do, I have my reasons. And my reasons at the end of the day, goes back to "its all because of you".

2011-04-25T15:44:00.002+08:00

Before I start to get busy again doing birthday presents ( AGAIN ) + attending stupid goddamn interviews cuz Im on the lookout for jobs already, I figured I should just clear the last backlog I have ! Esp since I prob would have stuff to blog about again later after meeting kellllllly and aina and luvvvvvv for dinner in abit :D Yay I haven seen them in ages ! Esp luvvv I wonder how shes doing !

Spent friday to saturday with my special ones, in a pretty much unexpected manner cuz I really didnt expect to have stayed out overnight with them, to let mozzies bite in fact. LOL. I'll touch on that in abit on how we were fed on by the stupid mosquitoes...... -.-

First up was settlers - yes settlers again HAHAHA but we visited a diferent branch cos smu was hosting an event and couldnt take our reservation.. The one at clarke quay has a different feel to it which I dont like though, they only have two sofas and all the other tables are so... Dinner-like. Tables and chairs and such, not comfortable to play gamesssssssxz. Nevertheless, we had fun trying out games! BONGO77 MY FAVVVVVV I LIKE !!! Kaboomz hahahaha kept doing stupid things though :/and we had the "you think you know it ya" game HAHAHA THAT WAS ONE EPIC. Looks like I dont know lover that well SOB I thought she doesnt care for hugs SIGH. Shall I give you a hug before we go back everytime??? :D LOL. For me, mirrors } aircon } everything HAHAHAHA. For laoqian laughter } family LOL. For monsteryeo self esteem } everything. For lover, water } everything! And for korkor dearie food } sleep LOL. Super funny and joker teehee.

I dont like playing uglydoll with them though THEY SUPER ROUGH AND FOR SABOTUER ALSO. MEH. DAMN PAIN LOR JITAO USE SNATCH ONE. But it was fun anyway teehee and our bill came up to 99.99 HAHA HOW COOL IS TT. Comparing smu and clarke quay, smu's is more comfy while clarke quay's is newer so... I dont know HAHA. Headed to central to buy sticky, afterwhich we went to the cheap cheap shop that luv introduced me to at chinatown ! Got our kite string and lots of other rubbish that we got, including sparklers heh ! Dinner at chinatown point or wherever that place is before we trained down to marina barrage :D

All the nonsense we bought at the chinatown shop were put into use as we revisited childhood HEH. NOTE THE KEYWORD, REVISIT. Confirm kena suan that Im already experiencing childhood now -.- Blowed bubblessssss and monsteryeo damn lousy hahahahaha he is totally the highlight manz but I promised not to upload that photo so... We all know can already TEEHEE. We played sparklers but got scolded within 5mins of starting HAHA. Nevermind at least we got to play already LOL. Why cannot play sparklersssssxz

Following which we flew our kite hahahaha ( okay actually its not me I didnt fly it LOLOLOL ) and yay it went up so so so so so so so high ! :D Super coollllllllllllll hahahaha and the best thing is that we managed to keep it up there for like an hour or more, until someone's kite tangled with ours and made ours drop ): Meh. And and and someone's kite attacked my nose wth thank god my nose isnt fake or it wouldve shifted for sure -.-

And so just like this, we spent the entire night at barrage, lying down watching at the kites in the sky, chitchatting, listening to music, playing bridge/daidee and feeding mozzies all the way till the next morning. It was perfect and awesome to just stare at the sky and think about things, except for the irritating mosquitoes which were damn intolerable. Bites all over MEH. We actually walked out all the way to marina bay aft tt cuz it was too early and theres no shuttle bus, while the guys sang army songs -_- LOL but super funny teehee and macs for breakfast before we went home and tohhhhhhhhhhh at like 8am D:

I finally managed to clear my emails after sooooooooo long goddamnit. I used to read them everyday coz of blogshop updates but now, I dont even blogshop anymore. LOL. Comparing shopping and blogshopping, I'd still prefer blogshopping, but comparing blogshopping and not shopping, currently I prefer not shopping. LOL. Cant believe Im saying this but I no longer have the urge to go and buy something, unless I happen to see something I really like. I dont know if its a good thing but dang, I haven been shopping for so long it feels miraculous :O

I cant believe its 25april already NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. No more buy one get one free fillet at macs ! Ive been eating it every single day ( well, almost ) for the past more than one week teehee, its the only chance I get to put 2 fillets together to get my all time fav double fillet o fish without having to pay exorbitant prices. MEH. Nomore. Why cant they just keep double fillet on the menu? ):

You see, thats the thing about blogging. When youre down to typing, you suddenly forget everything you wanted to say.

2011-04-25T02:09:00.006+08:00

Blogging at 2am in the middle of the night when my eyes are close to closing isnt exactly the thing I like to do most, but when the memories are the freshest and the feelings are the strongest, I think theres no better time to jot down the best memories than now :)

Celebrated baby #1 aka jo's bday today at settlers cafe ! :) It was a simple but awesome one, I dont think we spent alot of time but it seemed as though we did so much together! Endless laughter, this is what I call quality time. :) We did our fave thing- nua ! Just that for once after a long long time its outside and not at my place and theres no macaroni to go alongside with hahahahaha. Nevertheless I had so much fun with the babiesss! Super epic uno stacko that seemed impossible to go on but we did afterall ~ All the shrieking and super stunned and epic faces, priceless ! Andddd lord of the fries hahahaha cheap thrill of completing the recipes AND THEY KEPT GIVING THEIR FRIES TO ME GODDAMNIT too bad it wasnt real HAHAHAHA

Besides that we tried the game called I forgot what HAHAHHAHAA. Okay its not called I forgot what but I forgot the name of the game lulz D: I think its repeat pete ! IT WAS DAMN EPIC HAHAHAHAHAHA laughed like mad srsly LOL. Addition to our epic actions collection ! HAHAHHAA stomach ache, choke, seriously, hey gorgeous, totally, cluck cluck, LOL. DAMN FUNNY HAHAHAHA we were so confused by all the actions tt after three rounds our ability to rmb just dropped tremendously -.- BUT ITS FUN HAHAHAHA and and and we played the killing ducks game also ! aim and shoot and revive so kewttttttt :D

And yay we had a mini celebration at alps cafe where we cut cake + camwhored like mad and how can I forget, where we saw this weird guy who looked like a creepy stalker wtfz D: Emicakes was so yummy that we went to visit the shop after dinner HAHA. Anyway I shall not elaborate on what we gave baby cos theres for her and us to know HAHAHAHA. But I hope ( and think that ) she will like the hearts thing we made for her cuz thats where all the effort lies D:

Manhatten fish market for dinner after that and there was this promotion going on, but I think the pasta was just okay. Can easily find other pastas that match up to it, eg pastamania ! But then again it was worth the price I guess ! Home sweet home after that COS ITS MONDAY TMRW heh :) Actually so what if its monday??? Its just like any other day LOLOLOL WOOPS

Sometimes I tend to doubt if my babies and I will really remain in contact till we grow old. Sometimes I believe in it, but sometimes I tend to doubt it. Thatbeing said, when I sit down and think carefully about what we've gone through together, I kinda realize that this will remain for a long time to come. It isnt just a one time occurence of an event we experienced together like one trip tgt, or a occasional occurence of a competition or something along the line.. Its about what we've gone through together for more than 1/3 of our time in our two years spend together.. And I know regardless of whatever has happened in between or the little things we got unhappy about, those are the feelings that wont remain, and these are the feelings that will. I LOVE YOU GIRLS IF YOU SEE THIS :) :) (K)

Its so rare that Im the only one awake at this hour and my special ones have all gone to bed. Like NOBODY in the world is online goddamnit. Lover is asleep for school tomorrow, korkor dearie is asleep for work tomorrow, and even the monster who has been awake tgt with me till wee hours for the past ( I cant even remember how long maybe one month? ) weeks has gone to bed for first day of school tomorrow. Sighhhhhhh Im already feeling so lonely now and theres still a long long way to go after I wake up first thing tomorrow morning. What am I gonna do? I really dont mind working if I am spared the process of having to look for a job and go for shitty interviews -.-

I think Im finally feeling sleepy now.

Till the next - My special FRIDAY ! ^^

2011-04-21T02:31:00.003+08:00

Gna make this a really quick post just so I can pen down my thoughts and do a quick update of today before I go to bed earlier than usual tonight, even though it is already 2.46am now. HAHA I blog at insane hours I swear, how on earth did time pass till 2+ when I reached home at 11+? I did nothing the entire time LOL. In no time its gonna be 5pm already UGHUGHUGHUGHUGHUGH

Marina square for lunch with lober and monsteryeo, wanted to go to either hongkong/taiwan xin wang cafe but both of them were not available wtf? One renovation one close down DANG. We settled for bao today aka bao jin tian after deciding for a long long time as to where to go and it was not bad an exp HAHA. Love the sharks' fin soup, the soup of the day was ok, and so was the xiaolongbao ! The ding ding noodle nt v nice though heh, I'll go back just for the soup yumz ! And thennnnnnn BOWLINGGGGGG AFTER THATTTT but it was nothing like the genting exp, no hweeling leh. The lanes were terrible and theres no atmosphere and the balls are damn heavy AND UGLY HAHAHAHAHA played like shit lol. Never going there againnnnnnnnnnnn :(

Macs for daidee after that teehee, we spent so much time there I really have no idea how time passed soooo quickly! D: I likey three ppl daidee teehee ! Trained down to ion to have white bak kut teh cos... the noob monsteryeo nv try before white bak kut teh HAIIIIIIIIIIII WHAT ALSO NV TRY BEFORE. Tsk. I like to force him to try things though, its fun and satisfying when he gives in to me and eventually realizes that I have good taste and intro nice food. HAHA. We kept refilling soup thr lolololol I think roughly like 8 bowls? Havvvvvvvv?I think hav. LOL. It is good though TEEHEEE but we were kinda chased out cuz they were closing so we continued our daidee session at some random area in ion, and lover changed her name to pighead tan zhu tou LOLOLOLOLOL

Mega highlight of the day- We found out that monsteryeo looks like someone else !!! OH WAIT HES GONNA SAY IT SHOULDNT BE LIKE TT HAHA. Someone looks like him in his ez link ! LOL. We made him guess super long and he couldnt think of who the person was at all wtfz

Super sleepy now but gotta wake up slightly earlier in the morning to prepare for the smu interview. I dont even know how I can prepare for it but I just feel as though I have to do something at least :/ What will be tested for the written paper does anyone know !!! SIGH. I totally have no idea what to expect and I dont even dare to hold any hopes anymore.

Throughout my life Ive been through so many disappointments I dont know how to face one more that gets thrown at me. Though it SEEMS as though its pretty smooth sailing and everything thus far, it isnt really true when I think about it in detail. Disappointments make me feel as though I should never carry hopes at all.

I really dont know what Im looking for in my life, in every aspect. Life seems pretty overwhelming to me, with things happening every day and feelings/thoughts developing in every part of you. Feelings that you wish you can put away and believe you can put aside, but keeps clouding up your view and mindsets. Sometimes it gets so distracting that I forget what I really want. Is everything about being practical and realistic, or should it be about living it the way I want to, like how an experiment works?

I dont know, do you?

2011-04-20T03:49:00.003+08:00

I just typed a whole chunk of words and poof its gone again. FUCK. What the hell is wrong with blogger seriously WHY IS THERE NO AUTO SAVE FUNCTION AND WHY DOES THE SAVE NOW FUNCTION NOT WORK? Omg I feel like dying now its like my effort for the past one hour has been gone just like that I HATE IT AND I TOTALLY FORGOT WHAT I WROTE ALREADY. Having to compose everything all over again is just... Tmd irritating OMGGGGGGGAHFAHEFUAHFU

The monster is asking me to just cut short and type yjh rocks but well, just like how drunk people tend to deny that they're drunk, people who rock tend NOT to say that they rock. So yeah, you get it. :) I cant believe that Im blogging at 3.52am in the middle of the night for the SECOND TIME and I wonder if I should be happy that I will be doing that lesser and lesser in the future after uni begins. Uni seems so far away but its actually sooooooooo near, I have an interview with smu on thurs and Im so nervous about it ! I dont want it to come but yet i want it to be over quickly. You know that feeling it is so contradicting ! D:

Friday friday, gotta get down on friday ~ Everybody's looking forward to *saturday* ! LOL. That song is freaking awesome I get so entertained by it and all the covers seem just as interesting to me :D Speaking of which Ive been spending almost all of my saturdays with the special one since I cant even remember when. Dinner at Fig& Olives with the special ones after meeting monsteryeo who accompanied me to safra to meet lober, before we all headed to jurong point to meet korkor dearie and laoqian. The food was really good if you ask me, I loved the fish and chips and the soup ! :) It was awesome but the customer service is really bad, I had to ask several times before I was given any attention at all. Worth the visit if you have time to spare, but no-no if youre rushing !

We were slightly late for our movie, scream4, but thank god we didnt really miss out on any important parts of the show. Really hate to miss parts of a movie and it was rather disappointing how the show wasnt really horror, but more of thriller. I did get scared at some parts though, jumped quite abit at some parts at lober and monsteryeo, the two poor people beside me. HAHA. I really like the ending though it was freaking unexpected, and disgusting ! Looks like the real horror will really come only when we catch death bell camp 2 ! I REALLY WANNA WATCH THAT HAHAHAHA. Macs and bridge session after that and yay we taught laoqian too !!!! WHEEEE

Casting on monday and it was an absolutely awesome experience :) I really like how professional people make you feel really good and comfortable, so much so that you dont have to put up a fake front in being nice and everything, cos you really feel as though they are worth being nice to. Yay had fun though it was just a casting ! Its really these people who make up the 10% of nice people in the industry and let you feel as though everything is worth it. :)

Trained down to tamp to meet the special ones after that and teehee bought gongcha for them, except for the monster who claimed that he doesnt wanna drink grass but forgot that only he is served grass and not me, cos i am not a SHEEP. AHAHAHAHAHA INSIDE JOKE thought by korkor dearie, imba shitz. SHEEP MEHMEH. LOL. Lober keeps using it as well now HAHA. To ikea for lunch/dinner and I liked eating all the nonsense, from laksa to chicken wings to fish nuggets to fries ! We bridged the entire time and then fooled around in ikea while searching for korkor dearie's mirror ! Giant and then home sweet home after that ! I really like how they feel just like family and doing simple things like these make me feel warm and happy ;)

Sometimes, I think about people so much when I do things, that I no longer do things for myself. To a certain extent, I think its pretty tiring to be me. Not trying to gain self pity, not do I feel that I should be pitiful but yeah, just wanted to voice out how I really feel and let go a little bit without having to bother or think about how people feel or think should they read this. When I make decisions, I consider implications on the person directly related, and all the other related people. What I fail to consider, tends to be my own feelings most of the times, and what I really want most of the time. I dont know why but my friends seem to be taking up so much of my lives that sometimes I feel as though I live for them instead for myself. Is it so?

Really, its the stupidest thing on earth to take someone for granted. Before you know it you might just lose a listening ear, lose an advisor, lose a part of your life. People dont just swallow everything all the time, everyone has tolerance, limits and one day it'll be reached. Certainly.

Cherish before its too late, really. If you make your friend feel lousy about himself/herself, you are probably a bad friend.

Why like that?

If you ask me, someone really worth it wont do things to make you wonder or doubt their worth.

2011-04-18T11:43:00.002+08:00

A week passes by really really quickly, just like that. I dont even remember not blogging for such a long time, nor do I feel as though a week has passed. But ohwell, time doesnt wait for anyone, anyone at all. Whether you are free or busy, its still gna be 24hrs a day. ( And I just realized my save function is not working AGAIN , god bless I hope this post doesnt just disappear -.- )

Right so I spent thursday out at town searching for... Stuff. Inspirations, materials, blabla. Did I ever tell anyone I hate the month of april most throughout the year? LOL. Saw so many people outside that day, dno why D: from waik to superman to kim and joy, LOL. Damn rare to see so many people outside :O Met monsteryeo after abit and we had dinner at fish and co, accompanied by monday-sunday music HAHAHAHA. I seriously dont understand why the lyrics of songs can go sunday monday tues wed thurs fri sat. LOL. Anyway we roamed around trying to look for stuff before settling at mos burger to slackkkkkkk and then home sweet home ! OH AND I HAD CHIPPY'S --- whichhhhhh............ He didnt know existed as well. LOL. I predict hes gna kill me

Met the classmates, my beloved 7a on friday. They came to my place after my casting at orchard, and we had a nice catch up session ! Mahjong and wii and monop deal and pizza for dinner, simple but satisfying and fun. Got to catch up with everyone after what seems like forever, plus hear about lots of ns related stories from the botak boys HAHA. We need this more often ! But its so hard to organizeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee MEH. I will keep on trying !

The more I think, the more I feel damn sian we are all growing old already. The last time I double clicked on 1995 babies' profiles I expected to see some kid, but no now what are see are 16 year olds to be, teenage faces. Wtf. If its not them who are becoming old, then it must be me.

A busy busy week coming up ahead for me, I hope I'll survive it ! :)

Pretence, is my forte.

2011-04-12T22:41:00.004+08:00

Today has been a totally new experience for me, I'd say. Hm. Unexpected things happening, dealing with situations I totally wouldnt have forseen, blabla. Its been a tiring yet amazing day for me, I feel so tired now LOL but I feel as though I learnt so much these two days lol. Things that you cant learn from textbooks, cant learn from classrooms...

To tanjong beach club for the swimsuit shoot with cleo in the afternoon, as a favour to kim. To be honest I felt very apprehensive about it in the beginning cos I really didnt know how to tell mummy about it since it might very well be a bikini shoot. Thankfully I was told to wear a... ( I went to google it but I have no idea what its called I only remember its called sth-kini ) kind of swimsuit that feels like a once piece O: Still haven told mummy yet but I think I'll be able to get past her when its published in the june issue of cleo :) That aside, it was a relaxing shoot and I had fun ! Like 300 times less stressful than the usual shoots.

On a side note, I hate double eye lid stickers. Why do people even wanna put it on it is so uncomfortable I felt like I couldnt open my eyes anymore LOL-.-

I met someone super haughty looking and LOOKS ASIDE, she was damn rude lulz. Attitude problem and mega stuck up as if she was some supermodel -.- Speaking of people, its really true that we shouldnt just a book by its cover. I went for a casting today at drink culture ( which I will talk about in abit ) and all the girls there look so nice and friendly, but IF they know the job scope involved then I would think otherwise. Lol. In comparison, the girls I met at the casting yesterday belonged to another category. Okay I admit I dont dare to blog explicitly just in case one day they see this or something lol. But what I wanna say is that people who look like they're nice may not be nice, and people who dont look nice may really not be nice. HAHA. So everyone is not nice YAY I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT IM TALKING ABT LOL

I have no idea how I managed to waste hours and hours at vivo after the cleo shoot before the casting at drink culture, but I did afterall. I walked nonstop I swear. Anyway the drink culture casting was a success but I beg to differ. I was totally misleaded and shocked. O.O, this expression totally explains my feeling then, in addition to wanting to run away LOL

Met monsteryeo after my skechers casting yesterday, and we headed for... ding tai fung at 313 for dinner yay. Stupid him make me dont dare eat too much, so I only got the shrimp dumpling soup which was not bad, and we shared xiaolongbao. I miss paradise dynasty's xiaolongbao though, its the best ! Brought that bumpkin to shi lin COS HE FREAKING DOESNT KNOW WHAT IS SHI LIN WTF who in sg doesnt know what shi lin is-.- LOL. Yumz their ji pa is like so much better than last time. Pool at cine and HE FREAKING WON ME OVERALL WTHZZZZZZ ): Damn shocking but well done HAHA. Kfc for supper after that before we went back home ! Thinking back just makes me realize how many times we ate in the few hours we were out LOL

Seeing so many girls at castings these few days make me ponder over what beauty is. I suddenly cannot define if someone is pretty anymore, it seems as though people are looking more and more like clones nowadays. Theres this typical ahlian look I cannot seem t appreciate but more and more girls are looking like that goddamnit. Everything feels so fake already grrr. Now if I see someone on the street I think my judgement has deteriorated from all the pollution, so much so that I cannot even judge accurately if shes pretty -.-

Sometimes I feel life very scary. With all the radiation shit and nonstop earthquakes in Japan that harm tonnes of innocent people, I kinda wonder why doesnt this hit everyone so that all this can end and everyone can just poof into thin air together lol.

Meh I must be mad hahahaha MEH I NEED SOMETHING TO DO

I have so many people to catch up with I have been a lazy girl. Lol. Haven seen dearest in months -.- And my babies too, and mich dear and superglue. + I still owe superman his stuff. Wtfzxfhaisaewirjweri SO LAZY

2011-04-11T12:14:00.002+08:00

Its been way too long since I last woke up at eleven on my own accord. Most of the times I sleep in too late so much so that my dad and mom finds all ways to disrupt mysleep ( indirectly waking meup ) . But somehow I have no idea why I woke up by myself hahahahaha. I think it must be the 1001 thoughts on my mind that hinders and obstructs my100% rest, it almost feels like Im trying to wake up to blog.

Spent my friday-sat with the special people, in the most special way ever. HAHA. Met monsteryeo at parkway first and I waited for him so such a longgggggg time TSK. Was so nervous for my btt at night cos I haven studied at all AND HE MADE THINGS WORSEEEE keep suan me tmd -.- Sat at mos burger to study while waiting for lover to come and we headed for comfortdelgro learning centre tgt :D The test was easier than expected and I finished it super quickly and yay i passed ! Wonder when Im eventually going to take my lessons though LOLOL

Went back home to nua and wait for korkor dearie after we went down for a short round of shopping at shop and save. Bridge with nigel after that and we then headed for lor5 for supper/dinner ! HEH. Its quite cool how nigel can click with my friends :) Back home after that for bridge and we had to drink as forfeits to make it more fun... It was jialat please I really cannot drink HAHAHAHAHA but it took so much time and we didnt really drink much, in the blink of an eye it was 630am already lololol. Watched di yi jie, which was supposed to be a horror movie but it was not reallyscary I think, dont really likethe plot heh. Was only shocked at certain parts and I kept hitting the monster HAHAHAHA

Slept after that and we never woke up till noon. The three little pigs damn pig HAHAHA. Western food from downstairs for lunch, followed by mahjong and then bridge and then DRINKING GAME HAHAHAHAHA. IT WAS DAMN FUN I SWEAR LOL. The 'talk in a cute voice' and 'talk in a teh voice' rules + drinking partner chains zzzzzzzzz + cannot speak in english and alot more HAHAHAHA. Monster yeo damn suay,kena the king shots 3 times TEEHEE and my bro kena once LOLOL. IT WAS DAMN FUN HAHAHA lober the winner she damn sober throughout -_- In fact she even handled many full cups when we were playing bridge, super imba girl HAHAHA. Korkor dearie totally konked out at the end of everything I thought he was gonna die LOL. Monster yeo surprisingly became super sober at the end of everything LOL. It was crazy but fun we have to do this again ( besides the drinking part I HATE THEM KEEP SABO ME ): )

I cant really remember what else happened in bits and pieces but I remember nua-ing most of the time and time really flew by like anything. I remember bits like korkor dearie hu-ing in mahjong but didnt know and happily thought he had to throw out another card and couldnt hu LOLOL, and monster yeo's scene at shop and save with me HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA SECRET, and how I jumped off hysterically seeing the weight on the spoilt weighing machine thinking I was 2kg heavier, and how nigel carried me and I screamed like mad on the way back cos he refused to put me down and I was so scared zzzzzzz, and how lober was the piggiest and refused to wake up HAHAHA. These are the people I spent so much of my time with for the past 2 months or sooooooo wheeeee :) So sadddddddd lover sch reopen already =(

Anyway I had alot of things to blog about but now that I have reached the ranting part, I forgot everything already -.- LOL.

In most of what happens in life, I repeatedly tell myself not to hold hopes. Holding hopes eventually turn out to be one of the most disastrous and mood-dampening thing that happens. It applies to anything and everything. From daily events to expectations to school... Everything.

I have more to post. But till the next !

2011-04-08T12:21:00.003+08:00

Ive decided on getting down to completing my genting posts and all I hope is that blogger doesnt suddenly die on me once again. I have yet to find out what happened to my auto save / manual save function can somebody help me pleaseeeee ): The button is still there but it doesnt work goddamnit -.- ( OMG ITS WORKING NOW AUTOSAVE IS WORKING !!! ) But my paragraphing is kinda spoilt now, when i click edit html all my spaces just disappear and they turn into chunks of words -_-

Right so, here goes day 2! We woke up pretty late that morning, at like ten plus eleven and I swear it was so difficult to wake the two guys up I wanted to die. Even throwing pillows and hitting them/whatsoever couldnt wake them up wtfffffffffff PIGS. Coffee terrace for buffet lunch after 1 hour of puke-inducing counterstrike that totally disrupted all our appetites. Heard about how highly raved the chicken rice there was but it was a total disappointment O: Enjoyed the rice and fish though HAHAHAHA I had so much of that ! But I doubt I'll ever be going back again the next time I visit genting :)

Was led to this smell near the cable car station as we were walking towards the ticketing booth, but we were so full we didnt really get to try the food hmz. Maybe we'll go the next time we decide to visit heh ! Nothing much to do so we took the cable car down and teehee the guys' reactions were sooooooooo epic HAHAHA like AHHHHHHH SAVE ME OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG LOL. Sibei ho chio you know ^^ There was nothing much actually, the cable car right was just to pass time and we went back up awhile after we reached lolol. I thought the corkscrew managed to eliminate all other fears but NOPE HAHA

The guys went back to bathe while lober and I went to drink soup at our fave soup place for the trip. I really will go back its the one near lao di fang ! The guys are seriously surprisingly clean. Clean to the extent that they will feel like going back to bathe at like 5pm when we're outside. Damn scary LOL. Lober and I are on the other hand, so much lazier than them when it comes to bathing teehee. Rushed to the bowling alley to meet them for our bowling game HAHAHAHA pwned them like mad that day YAYYY !!! It was so exciting with loud music and catwalk feel and I beat my own personal best at 126 that day teehee :D

We went to ripley's believe it or not after that, I think its my first time there cos I dont remember going before but ah, who knows ! Its been so long since I even visited genting anyway lolz. Some stuff were quite interesting I guess, like the torture chair ( WHICH HURT LIKE SHIT DAMNIT ) and blabla I cant remember already. But most of it were... Not that fascinating? Lots of tribal looking stuff that didnt awe me or whatsoever and alot of them were just pictures... Wouldnt really go back again heh. Haunted house on the other hand was.... awesome stuff. I SCREAMED THROUGHOUT the goddamn thing as I clinged on to korkor dearie in the beginning, and ended up when we were no longer walking in a single file, I just grabbed everyone near me zzzzzzzz even lover wasnt that scared anymore LOL I totally scream, ran and teared when the ghost wanted to come out and chase me seeing that I was so scared-.- My beloved special ones WERE SO AMUSED BY ME THEY KEEP LAUGHING EVEN UNTIL TODAY. BAM hahaha actually I felt ridiculous lol

Dinner at the hainan restoran after that, had toast and whee it was not bad ! Generally toast cant be too bad HAHA. It was much better than coffee terrace lol. Back to the hotel after that to play taboo HAHAHAHA IT WAS SO FUNNY ! YJH SAID I HAVE BAD FIGURE WTFZ. I like taboo its so funny ! LOL I think we should make our own cards cos taboo cant really be played many times, super repeated. We kept trying to think of things that only our partners could relate to cos we included interception in our game HAHA. So there were weird dota terms and such but yay lover and I are the best ! Taught them bridge after that and thats it, we played nonstop through the night after buying starbucks ( english breakfast tea YUMZ ) and macs double filet o fish hahahahaha :D We really played till like seven or so lol

Breakfast at shanghai 10 after that, we thought the dimsum looked good but no it was a scam. None of it tasted like it was fit for human consumption and it was just bad and gross yucks never gna go back there again ! Went back to the hotel to sleep for abit after that cos we were so shag and that two hours seriously helped so much, afterwhich we went for lunch at hao you ji :) It was goooooood heh love the xiao long bao and ... What else did we have? I cant remember but generally it was good ;D

Went back to my fave place to buy sweets and biscuits and such and teehee before we knew it it was time to leaveeeeeeeee. Hated the journey back cos of reasons ( besides disturbing the guys hahahaha ) I dont wanna say here but DAMN SUAY HAHAHA AND THE JOURNEY TOOK DAMN LONG ):

Well that pretty much sums up the genting trip ! Simple and budget one but had so much fun with the darlings and bridge is now officially our favourite game after the trip ! LOL. Saw so many other sides of each of us and how adorable and special everyone is ^^ I hope they dont see this cos they are gonna become soooo bhb after that HAHA. Gonna have another session with them tonight teehee SO EGGCITED ~ I hope I dont lose too much cos I dont wanna drink ):

I dont understand how I can type as though Im so happy when Im actually far from it. LOL. I dont even feel exactly like what Im typing hm

Suddenly feel so... Directionless. Seeing everyone talk about uni all the time makes me feel like I haven done enough/ I should have done better. I know its no use crying over spilled milk but then again, its only here that I can truthfully confess how it affects me to know that people are doing so well and I dont know where I am. It makes me feel so lousy that everytime I look at tweets/fb statuses about uni interviews and stuff I just shut it off... Cos I really dont want to be reminded of how lousy I feel. And this haunts me all the time, I cant get it off my mind. Even when Im playing/whatever, from time to time when I see stuff like these I just... Cannot help but feel so freaking inferior.

But yes different people search for different things in life and for me, I know its more than the academics I want. EVEN SO I CANT HELP BUT FEEL LOUSY UGH WHY

So angsty these days. It doesnt get any better when your dad knocks on the wall with a hammer at 10am in the morning KNOWING THAT YOU ARE ASLEEP, or when your dad comes into the room to switch off your aircon just to make you wakeup, or when your dad comes in and asks you "still sleeping ah? *smiles*" when the answer is obvious, or when there is some weird drilling going on outside when I am trying to sleep in.

SIGH. ANGSTY.

2011-04-07T14:30:00.001+08:00

Ive attempted blogging for 5 damn times and every single time im done with my posts ( LIKE FULLY 100% COMPLETE JUST HAVEN POST ) I never manage to post it cos the com dies on me and my point is THERE IS NO AUTOSAVE FUNCTION. Why is there no autosave function?! Even when I manually click save now nothing happens goddamnit can someone helpppppp ):

Well anyway the past few days have been lazy days and I just spent day after day rotting at home, surfing the net surfing god-knows-what ( Im secretly wondering what is there even to surf anyway -.- ) and eating nonstop. Most of the days are just bridge days with the special ones ( I decided not to call them the awesome ones anymore cos special seems more apt for each of us HAHAHAHA ), including on monday before which we had this awesome buffet session at vienna I enjoyed so much. First was the food ( like awesome teppan dory with massive amts of black pepper sauce, and souppppp and kueh lapis and breaded prawns omfg ), and then was the fun and entertainment I got from watching together with korkor dearie the epic experiments that monsteryeo did in mixing fruit juices to gross lover out ( which failed eventually )

Revisited the past 2 nights ago while looking at all the maple screenshots and I realized how much I have changed, in terms of everything. Persepctives, mindsets, expectations, all of it. Take for eg relationships, last time it just used to be a game ( not that I have like 300 ex-es I ONLY HAD ONE - which I doubt could even be considered as one LOL ) and it was just all the puppy love and oh so sweet words that mattered. I kept like countless number of smses that were actually nothing but words that weighed nothing at all. But, those were the days. The days that expectations were so easy to meet and fulfil and now when you think back, you feel so silly. Naive? Simple? I dont know.

Love now means... Nothing to me. I dont believe in it anymore, having seen things happen around me, seen attitudes people give to one another, experienced for myself how easily things can be sparked off and how easily it can end. It is no longer just about puppy love feelings, but more of practicalism, being realistic, and it is no longer a game. Not that I find it easy to believe in anyway.

Decisions, decisions, decisions. Although I always organize things and decision making is always in my life, there are some things I just procrastinate about doing. Decisions that involve how other people feel, especially. Ive been procrastinating about this for about a month, should I or should I not break away? Im sick of waiting for people who dont value me, I know I can seek value out there, but how do I go about breaking away......

So many things to worry about now. Getting a job before uni ( LOLOL I seriously wonder if I will do it eventually ) , getting into uni...... Sigh. I dont wanna thinkkkkkkk

Till the next time ! I promise it'll be about genting trip ( UGH I TYPED ALREADY LOR AND IT DISAPPEARED ) , toodles !

2011-04-03T14:19:00.001+08:00

Genting trip with my awesome ones from monday to thursss and that probably explains why I haven been updating much. I doubt I can get everything into one post as usual cos of the tonnes of photos I wanna upload, but I'll try to get it chop chop done since we tried so many eating places there and I guess it'll be better to leave a record of what not to go back to ( which is prob almost everything LOL -.- )

Scheduled to leave on monday night but we met early monday afternoon to collect monsteryeojuehua's passport at ica, and then buy my flipflops ( which sadly broke after it followed me everywhere for more than a year sobsob ) which I didnt manage to get eventually cos there are only two outlets left in singapore- one in cine and the other at vivo. I think its a lie though. LOL. I see lots of num shops around :/ Damnz :/ Slacked at 313 food court while we played monop deal heh heh time flies super quickly when youre having fun :/ Bugis to shop for groceries and we had i love taimei for dinner yumz ! I likeyyyyyyy esp korkor dearie's lemon chicken thing heh.

We played hide and seek around cold storage like kids LOLOLOL hahahaha so childish but funnnnnnnn heh. Rushed off to golden mile after that to catch the bus and in between things werent so smooth but now that its over I guess it doesnt really matter now heh. The bus ride was quite terrible if you ask me, felt like puking by the first stop, but then it got better subsequently, thankfully. We kinda reached sooner than I expected cos I was sleeping and suddenly we arrived already HAHA

the bad thing was it was soooo early nothing was opened yet and we couldnt check in, nothing to do and we had to lug our stuff around, including my stone ( aka my super heavy bag ) but thank god monster and korkor dearie took turns to help me carry HEHEHE. Breakfast at macs followed by more monop deal at the lobby, and then bak kut teh at their food court. Wa thinking back about all the events just make me realize how much we actually ate there -.- No wonder I put on all the weight sob

After wasting alot of time and feeling uber shag cos we didnt sleep well on the bus ( esp for the three of them who were already half dead HAHA ) the ticketing booth finally opened and we were the first customers to buy tickets for the theme park ^^ LOL childish like hell I swear. Took a stupid indoor ride and went out after that cos my favourite roller coaster was closed SOBBBBBBBB damnit. We practically played all the thrilling rides there, started with spinner then cyclone, pirate ship, mine train, flying dragon... Monster yeo's reaction was freaking epic I would die to see it again HAHAHAHA

Back to the hotel for abit cos we had to check in, slacked in the room for abit before going out again. We hadnt had lunch then but wanted to finish playing corkscrew and my space shot HAHA, so went to play first just in case we puke everything out after the games. Soooooooooooo exciting please corkscrew, best ! Lover cried after the game HAHAHAHA and monster yeo screamed epic HUAT AH at the end of it ^^ Korkor dearie and I were the bravest HEHE though we screamed throughout as well. I bravely went to take space shot on my own ^^ Brave girl 92 so proud of myself !!!! LOL. Enjoyed myself so much with them at the theme park cos of the epic screams HAHAHAHA seriously damn funny ! + the expressions LOL

Went to search for the prata shop korkor dearie mentioned after that and we searched for freaking long, finally found it but I found it super terrible. LOL. We discovered a damn good soup restaurant after that but I forgot the name, I only know its damn near lao di fang. But I will remember this place cos we visited it so many times ! Bowling after that teehee we were super highhhhhhhhhhhhhhh but eventually the girls lost the guys sobbbbbbb. I like the loud music and dark lanes, machiam catwalk HAHA. Pool after that and then we went back to slack after buying macs for dinner, while korkor dearie went to the casino ! HEH three-man-daidee fun tooooo

Didnt know what to do after that so I watched them fall asleep one by one, before lover and monster yeo woke up after that to take a walk with me and we went starbucks to chill ^^ Someweird I-forgot-what-race-people disiaoed me zzzz. Actually albeit what mommy keeps saying I find genting pretty safe LOL

Okay Im gonna stop here for now ! Day 2 and 3 shall be left to tomorrow hehehehe so lazy now.

Sometimes Im scaredddddd

2011-04-03T01:10:00.002+08:00

It just occured to me that its been such a longgggg time since I posted anything at all. It almost seems as though my blog is dead hahahahhahahaha but actually not its just cos I was lazy :X Just got back awhile ago from pool and movie with monsteryeojuehua and laoqian bartender, caught sucker punch and it sucks to the max wtf. Please dont go and watch it unless you are crazy and have too much time and money to waste. I hated it so much wtf it didnt even make sense to me at all, zero plot. Nonsense plot in fact!

Actually Im really so sleepy Im dying already, dont feel like blogging at all so.. I'll continue tomorrow with the genting posts ! Heh bye for now since the only purpose of this post was to tell you that sucker punch sucks do not watch !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ^^

2011-03-23T02:19:00.002+08:00

Out with darren yesterday to buy stuff at bugis and sadly to say Im still as lost as ever in there, its always a maze to me. Sigh. Took like forever to find a shop we bookmarked and teehee Im glad we found it eventually. To 313 after that to walk around and look for stuff and then to cine for dinner ! Dessert at summer frost, we had chocolate ice. Apparently it was good leh hahahaha never heard of that place before but the atmosphere was awesome, cold, quiet and romantic HAHA. We talked for forever like we always do, before heading for adjustment bureau, which was awesome. Not your typical love story plot, which makes things kinda interesting ! To turn things around and play with your chances, to write your own story even if fate goes against it. Yay :)

Met superglue last thurs for a belated birthday celebration and it was great to just catch up with her like we always do, just that singapore is really really really boring there is REALLY nothing to do sigh ._. Lunch at mof and I had ramen, so so only but still passable I guess ! I like their milo though super thick hahaha. Hopped over to bugis street after that to do some shopping but grrrrrrr nothing to buyyyyyyy D: I haven shopped in such a long time :/ Iluma after that to sit down and talk again, forgot which hk cafe we went to already :X Photohunt after that and pastamania for lunch back at bugis junction. Seems like we spent the entire day eating, I think we did ! LOL

Just came back from the hospital awhile ago cos grandpa was in critical condition, but Im glad he looks better now. I just hope he can fight against everything with the antibiotics hes being given, sigh :/ He was already home but readmitted after less than a week :'( When I heard how serious his condition was and how he might not pass tonight, I dont know how to describe how I felt. Even till now, we arent sure how he is but I sure hope he'll be okay. He has to hang in there, all of us are always supporting him :/ The thought of granny crying just nw simply breaks my heart, she was all in tears saying that he was gonna leave us... And all that helplessness, I just cannot describe it.

In fact, we were supposed to head to sgh to visit god uncle when that call came that grandpa was in critical condition... God uncle is only 45 this year and I cant even recall how he looks like having seen him only 18 times in my life every cny, considering the fact that he didnt even come this year. His is even more critical- cancer with internal bleeding all over now. Sigh, why does this have to happen?

Its like everything is coming together I dont even know what to say. Life is so fragile that we dont know when something bad will strike, or how it will strike. Whether its someone old that "would eventually go through this stage" or someone young that "unfortunately has to go through something thats not within our control" ; whether its someone close, or someone distantly related ; it hurts all the same. To see someone struggle, in pain, on the verge of life and death...... All I feel is desperation and helplessness.

2011-03-20T21:48:00.002+08:00

I feel like Im losing ppl around me. Am I?

I feel like..... there isnt a clear direction in my life- again. sigh -.- I wonder when I will stop feeling like that, maybe when I finally get a job? I dont know, I just keep procrastinating hahahahaha and Im so bored that I feel more and more useless everyday. Blaaaa I cant wait for school to start, seriously. I feel like picking up cheerleading LOL-.-

Anyway random things and rants aside, time for some updatesssss. Cycling on friday with the awesome ones ! HEH. Met yfnh first and embarassed myself like mad by doing something dumb but I swear it was just a one time occurence LOL. Not gonna share what it is here TEEHEE, had lunch at c.nai hk cafe and it was terrible, like it was the previous time. Never gonna go thr again -.- The service is non existent and the food is slightly below average. That stupid noob procrastinated so long after tonnes of complaints about the sun before we finally headed out to the tracks, and apparently he is gifted HAHAHA. Surprisingly he took only about 10mins or so........ I went away for abit and when I was back he was cycling on his own alr wtf-.-

Lover and korkor dearie came to meet us abit later and at that time mr yfnh was all ready to cycle off already HAHA. DAMN ZAI LOL. First time Im genuinely praising him HAHA. Cycled to our usual spots and stopped at the various checkpoints teehee. It was a surprisingly short but damn shag ride, I have no idea why ! We were like sooooooo shag at the end of everything wtf I actually had bruises here and there and everywhere

Dinner at parkway parade's pastamania yumz. Have been eating pastamania quite abit these days compared to the past, I love their clam chowder, mushroom soup, calamari rings and pasta !!! Creamy chicken yay, :) Arcade after that and I totally suck at daytona, sigh. Keep losing like every round LOL =( Love my place cos theres always straight bus home from everywhere I am ! Most of the time HAHA

Thursday was mummy and daddy's 21st rom anniversary. Its damn scary Im like 19 already zomg lol. Okay not 19 yet but soon enough... Its really freaky, time flies like anything mummy and daddy have been engaged for 21 years... How do people even live with one another for so long? Amazing. O: Anywayyyy we had ah yat dimsum for lunch and it was good ! Love the sharkfin and soup, and silverfish ! The chicken was damn good too, and so was the xiaolongbao. The service was horrid though lol but what can you expect for 50% off dimsum ! Speaking of which, none of what I like was included in the dimsum list HAHA. Caught I am number 4 again cos mummy wanted to watch it, and I have to say again the lead actor is sooooooooo hawt ! LOL. Bedok 85 for dinner and I doubt I'll be visiting that place in a long time... Getting sick of it -.-

Well ! These days, nothing much comes up to my mind, no inspiration to blog, dont know what to do... Life. So freaking boring and annoying I just wake up, eat, sleep every single day. 4 months of this is enough already. Yawnssssssssssssssssssssss cant wait to breakaway from this. Sometimes, human beings are never satisfied. :O

What am I gonna do tmrw? - Thats my question every day.

2011-03-20T03:37:00.003+08:00

Today has been more or less a rollercoaster ride of emotions for me. It may seem like its a total exaggeration saying this cos nothing significant really happened, but it was for me. I felt... Worry, fear, dread, anticipation, gladness, satisfaction- all of it. Sometimes, I guess this is inevitable, the way it happens time and time again but to different people at different times. But well Im glad I actually felt satisfied eventually, thinking of the current situation HAHA :) Maybe it was better afterall, maybe things wouldnt be like this not if it werent like that then :)

Pool with korkor dearie and yfnh in the afternoon- okay make that evening. Met yfnh at cine first and before he came, I saw jackson and youting :) No pool tables available, whats new cine is soooooooooooo freaking crowded and flooded with people as though there are free gifts or whatsoever-.- Gave up and went to scape instead LOL finally explored the place and concluded that theres nothing at all. Bought gongcha hehhehheh :) Finding it less nice time after time ! Headed back to cine kpool, only to realize after trying our luck that there were tables yay ! Just nice korkor dearie reached ^^ After that met zh monsterass tgt with jackson and youting again, lol. Played till about eight plus before leaving to meet rude boy and ym :) YAY I STILL WIN YOU YFNH HEHEHEHE PK ANOTHER TIMEEEEEEE and korkor dearie too ! :)

Met rude boy and ym and their friends after that, sat around and watched ym play billiard, billiard's really cool I wonder when I'll be zai enough to play that LOL. So muchhhh more diff than poool :/ Waited like forever for their never ending friends and conversations that took place even as we walked along the road -.- Finally had dinner at eleven plus at tian tian huo guo at bugis, not niceeeeeee. hate the oil splashes and dirty env -.-

I was just wondering, if everyone had perfect judgement and made the right choices, perhaps we dont even have the chance to learn how to make choices anymore. If you get what I mean. We err, we learn, we grow up, we look back, and we laugh. Thats about it. :)

Blog tmrw ! ( Actually its later in abit heh ) Its so late already zomgxz nighty world !

2011-03-14T20:37:00.003+08:00

Never knew uni applications would be sooooo torturing but it wasnt as bad as people say I feel hahahaha. Its boring and mundane and all but yay it didnt take me too long to complete, and yes its done ! Wheeeeeeeeeeee NOMORE UNI APPS PLEASE :( SO BORAN ZOMG I hate to brag about myself

Anywayyyyy, I went to join the biotherm contest for fun, only cos I do use biotherm and I have nothing better to do, lol. Vote for meeee by liking http://www.facebook.com/Biotherm.Singapore , and then like my photo here : http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=208106975872029&set=a.206980789317981.63347.168151169867610&theater thankyouuuuuuu :)

Cant wait to get uni apps totally settled which means photocopying all the necessary documents and sending them out s: Soooooooo lazy zomgxzxzxz and I hope I'll quickly get the job so I wont have to keep on finding, super lazy lehxz :/ Sighhhhhh jobjobjobjobjob I want to workkkkkk Im sooooo bored rotting at home every single dayyy

Laoqian aka bartender aka john's birthday on sat so we went out to surprise him teehee. Had alot of fun planning for everything ! Rushed down after ntu and nus open house ( where I met mr chan hehehehe ) to pick lover up and daddy drove us to nex ! The presents were with me while the box was with yfnh so we met up with him to put everything in while he went to meet bartender at partyworld first ! Secretly left it with the counter and went to sing after that hahahaha. Korkor dearie came halfway with the cake I got him to buy and lover& I sneaked out to get the present and cake in and tadah we opened the door and sang bday song for him ! TEEHEE. SO SUCCESSFUL PLEASEEEEEEE HE TOTALLY DIDNT SUSPECT :D

Luv doing these kinda things for friends cos... Idk I just think it feels awesome to be surprised and Im sure everyone likes to be surprised like that. Afterall, who dislikes surprises? :) Heh. Sang for about four hours and we met one of bartender's friend who was working there, so we got like alot of free food HAHAHAHAHA, we ordered 12 cups of drinks and had about 14 bowls of tidbits in total O: Teehee. Awesome to know people. HAHA. Camwhored with this group for the first time ever hahahaha and yfnh left after that O:

We went for dinner at ajisen without yfnh who went for the stupid play thing hahahaha but he regretted and came back to meet us after that. Had my favourite white miso again and it was as awesome as ever, the white fish not nice thoughhhhhhhhhh :/ Monop deal at macs after that like we always do hahahahahaha yayyyyyy hope mr john had his fun and he must wear his lao qian shirt out !!!! + his uber cute cap hahahaha

These days, I just feel so fucked up and moody for no reason. Damn sian I dont know why either. Damn grumpy. Sighhhhhhhhh

2011-03-13T11:38:00.005+08:00

Backlogs, backlogs, backlogs. Ive been out practically everyday the past few days and seeing awesome ppl consecutively- no that does not mean I stayed out with them every night. ( like some formspring question that was asked to me hahahahaha for a person to be out with me 2 days consecutively certainly does not mean that I was out with them throughout the nights -.- ) I prefer to call them awesome ppl instead of clique cos clique sounds so boring and... cliche.

Before I actually began my meet-them-for-three-days-consecutiely spree with them, I met mich dear in the afternoon after going for my interview in the morning :) Looking for jobs are boring its getting annoying. Anyway went for lunch at paradise dynasty after buying tickets for gnomeo and juliet and yumz the food is still as awesome as ever :) Really like the pork bone ramen so much so much its freaking awesomeeeee. We shared xiaolongbao and spent our time talking and chitchatting about the most recent happenings in our lives + about other ppl hahahaha before roaming around orchard, following which we went for our movie- gnomeo and juliet. Its cute and everything but I suggest you dont watch if youre sleepy cos... Surely fall aslp LOL. Simple day but no chance to camwhore boohoo, we had to miss 2 trains in order to take the 3 photos at the mrt station HAHA. But nvm I like :D

Sometimes I find things really so amazing. Because I missed the 2 trains, it ended up in me taking the same train as darren. And I entered on the exact same cabin, same door, and even same side as him -.- Got a shock of my life when he tapped me hahahaha so cool pls LOL. I was supposed to alight earlier than him but we were talking abt stuff so I took to the station one stop after the noobhead noob alighted, and went back to aljunied to meet lover to collect the lao qian's shirt hahahahaha. Dinner at bedok 85 after that with lover, yfnh and korkor dearie, yay barchormee ! Didnt get to eat my hokkien mee though sighhhhhh but I thought the standard of the food on the weekends were better ! Then to princess theatre ( which I thought was empress theatre and they kept laughing at me -.- ) to play monopoly deal at macs hahahahahaha pwned the guys badly !!! :D :D Even simple things like playing monop deal with awesome ppl feels so awesomeeee

Friday was spent with yfnh and korkor dearie again, this time without lover cos she was sickkkkk :/ Met at long john's to make john's present ( pun intended HAHAHAHA) , afterwhich we went to search for his cap, as well as a box which we didnt find eventually HAHA. I was abit crazy and started laughing until I sat on the ground a couple of times as we were walking around hahahahahaha the guys say its sweet-deprived-withdrawal-symptoms. They didnt use that term of course, I made it up. Teehee. Popeyes and ya kun to play monopoly deal after that ( we are freaking addicted ) and they freaking colluded to gang up against me I swear. -.- I swore to win them at least once that they since it was 2 vs 1 and so I did at macdonalds after our movie ! Caught I am number 4 and it was awesomeeee hahaaha my kinda show ! I likeyyyyy heh the guy and girl sooooooo hawttttttttttttttttttt I was so excited throughout hahahaha

Was supposed to celebrate superglue's bday with her today but cos the vballers postponed the date today, we decided to change it tmrw so we'll have more time heh. No idea what we are gonna do though, bdays... Sigh. Drained me of all my sleep making cards and presents till wee hours of the night :/ But its all worth it I guess !

Sometimes I think it'll be quite nice if the world ended before people die naturally. Idk I hae no idea where people go after they die and the thought just scares me but maybe if we all die together, we'll go somewhere together? Idk. Life... Everything just scares me. Its so unpredictable and like someone mentioned, since the world is going to end pretty soon with all the earthquakes and tsunamis and all that shit, can we just not study anymore hahahahaha

Ouuuuuuuwelll its time to replenish some sleep now that our date's postponed ! Today's family day ♥

2011-03-11T02:30:00.002+08:00

Feels like such a long time since Ive last posted but actually its only been a few days. Im feeling really really sleepy now but I love to torture myself by doing things like forcing myself to finish up a blogpost at 2.30am in the middle of the night before I allow myself to sleep. I actually hope I can do this really quickly cos its raining now and rainy days are awesomeee

Spent monday night out with a last minute dinner at lagoon with derek. He came to pick me up in such a haste it didnt occur to me where lagoon was and so I went in a dress and high heels -.- The food there really no kick compared to places elsewhere, didnt find it anywhere near nice -.- Marina barrage after that, sat down and talked about things until quite late, lol. The environment at barrage is just... emotions-inducing. I cant really express it but it just makes people ponder over things :O

Not much kites in the sky, nor were there much people cos it was a weekday night. The place was super quiet and un-crowded heh. Thankfully derek drives, the benefits of a car. Sigh. So convenient to go anywhere and everywhere at anytime we want lol, went to cheers to buy fruitip after that cos I was suffering from a fruitip deprived night. Heh

Tuesday was photoshoot day so I woke up late and he sent me to the studio, following which I had my photoshoot. Dinner after that at quality hotel located at balestier with the photographers, we had buffet dinner. I think its really worth it leh, if youre not picky about food lol. Cant say much about the QUALITY though its QUALITY HOTEL HAHAHAHAHA PUN INTENDED, but with the amount that you could eat and the price that you have to pay ( only ten bucks wtf ) , its worth it ! Worth a go I guess ! But it operates like from 1030-1230 D: Not sure about dinner though !

Wednesday was interview at tampines, which Im not too sure if I wanna take up eventually. I kinda think I wont. HAHA. Derek came to pick me up again and we went to... Where did we go. Ohyes we had lunch at tpy central's pizza hut before heading off to take ic photo at lor 7, afterwhich we made a wasted trip down to the tshirt making shop cos the place was closed -.- Accompanied him to experience the life of an uncle while drinking TEA at the COFFEESHOP below my house -_-

Met darren the noobheadnoob after that teehee and it was nerve wrecking cos he was late and his beloved phone ran out of batt ( see, JAP. ) I was sooo afraid and worried but there was nothing I could do anyway but thank god he turned up eventually or I wouldnt know what to do hahahhaa. We watched king's speech and it was freaking good, please go catch it if you havent ! Theres really a reason why it won the oscars'. It was super inspiring and that stupid boy kept explaining to me what was going on as though I was stupid- yeah he always claims that Im a noob -_-

As usual, we always have fast food when we're out together cos thats the only thing that he feels is worth the calories I think. DAMN NO MORE DOUBLE FILLET =( Double sadness for the both of us cos we love it so much :'( Hes gonna petition and Im so gonna give him all my support ! HAHA. As usual I had alot of fun talking to him about anything and everything and trying to expose and dig into his secrets HAHAHAHA, as well as pwning him in monop deal (though he improved so much we actually ALMOST tied though the eventual score was 5:6 damn) Left pretty early though, cos that stupid boy had school the following day so we couldnt stay late though we wanted to :'(

And alrightyyyyy I'll blog about today another time, mega sleepy now. My eyes are like closing already.

Life is fine the way it is now, I dont need some people anymore and I doubt I ever will. Sometimes, you just need people who mean alot to you to wake you up.

Am I even making sense? Im sleepy

2011-03-07T17:47:00.003+08:00

Ive been rotting the whole day so much so that I think there are flies above me now. Eeeeeeeeeeew its soooo freaking boring I feel so useless hahaha but I dont really feel like getting down to finding a job, though I feel like working. Its like I dont mind working leh, but someone pretty please do the finding for me???? :'( Maybe I should strike that deal with my mom HAHAHA

These few days have been pretty mundane, I cant remember doing anything besides eating, eating and eating nonstop. Did I mention that last tuesday I went for sinma to have frog porridge with lover, yfnh and korkor dearie ! Yumzzzz I simply luvvvvvv going there hahaha and we ordered this whole chicken which is supposedly their specialty, nomnom I miss it so muchhhhhhh that I actually went back to have it on sat night, but to my disappointment they didnt have it already :'( Tried the duck and it was nothing special, please dont try it D: Everything else is good though, even their beehoon ! Me likes nomxzxz :D

Yesterday night was dinner at bedok cos I kept talking about this bedok 511 bakchormee that I saw so many friends tweeting about. Bedok's kinda unreachable imo without a car cos I stay like way way way way way way away from it ( Though it is still accessible but Im lazy HAHA ) but since daddy drove, we made a trip down. Initially I was quite disappointed when I found out that the place we went was blk 85 not 511, but mummy and daddy were full of praises for the bakchormee there so we went anyway, and Im glad we did. For people who dont stay there, please please please go try the bakchormee omg it is sooooo freaking awesome, its to die for ! :D They have lots of bbq food there as well, from chicken wings which was not bad ( but canadian pizza's better though its kinda diff :X ) to satay that were okay, and lober's favourite stingray :D I tried stingray for the first time in my life lololol and the hokkien mee is damn awesome too heh. Im hungry already !

Ohyes, and we went to marina barrage on saturday night till about 1am, insane thing to do. Mummy was sooooooo engrossed and excited in trying to fly the stupid kite that she refused to leave until she managed to fly it up. Well she did, maybe about 2 storeys high, but at least she did. LOL. Glad she had fun, could tell she really played like a kid :S I didnt have a go at it though, I prefer to just sit down and watch hahaha, it was gorgeous though, the dark sky lighted with various led lights from the respective kites :) :) All I did was... Have nigel carry me up and down the slopes LOL. Its cool to have a strong boyf/bro actually can carry you when youre tired LOLOL

Finally got my iphone after procrastinating for three hundred years, and went down to gmask it yesterday, super pleaseddddd heh. It isnt too expensive if you ask me, worth the price since its pretty and technically speaking it protects the phone ! Nicer than those iphone case you see around :) I wanted to get a pink pokka dotted one but then I was certain it'll turn out pretty ugly, glad I chose this design heh super happy with it ! Ive been spending the most time I ever do on a phone for the past two days, downloading apps and everything ( even though I already have an itouch -.- ) :) Enjoying myself with talkbox hahaha its fun !!!! haven really tried whatsapp though it feels like msn lol. Anyway mel heres the pic of my gmask hehhhhh its super pretty ! Photos dont do justice but close enough I guess :)

These few days haven been easy for me at all, but thankful for the angels sent to protect and help me :) You know who you are, esp zaizai korkor ! :)

Had a h2h talk with nigel on saturday at the hospital and.. Thought about alot of things. But Im too lazy to elaborate now, I wanna eat dinner hahahaha maybe tomorrow ! :) And... whats a post without my own photo righty :S

2011-03-04T17:04:00.002+08:00

After all that suspense, the a level results are finally released.

I dont know what to feel now, and at the same time I feel a huge confusion as to where I should go from now. Its not cos I did damn badly, but at the same time I know I didnt do well. The grades I got make me kinda confused as to what I can actually apply for etc, but I know this isnt the end. A levels dont decide everything, though it weighs enough to be of great significance.

This has really taught me about choices. Really. From the start, the choice to take bcme was wrong to begin with. I didnt do that badly for bio, but sciences stream is just wrong for me. So what if there are more scholarship opportunities in the science stream? So what if the school excels in producing top pupils in the science stream? There will still bound to be people not at the top, and when youre not at the top, you could very well be at the bottom.

The biggest mistake I made would definitely be to pick bio just cos more than 90% of the people got a/b/whatever its so insignificant I cant even remember now. Well, choices, we make them, so we answer for them. I dont regret not studying more, cos I already studied all I could in the final lap. I mean yes I could have done more in the beginning but from the time I woke up until our last paper, I really studied my guts out. I dont regret cos its the best I did, but I regret that I put in my all for something that I cannot do. Its like asking a carpenter to play the piano. Something like that. No matter how hard I worked, there was no way for me to unleash my full potential cos my potential is not even there.

But its okay, we err, we learn, we move on. That Im aware of, and I know.

Cry if you must, but crying doesnt help anything at all. There're still options, doors, and what have you, its all gonna be okay.

If blessings could be converted into A(s), I'd have gotten tonnes of A(s) from all the people who prayed for me and sent me their blessings. I feel especially thankful to darren who gave me the courage to even get my paper and look at the results, while bearing with my baby cries. I was sobbing nonstop and yet he could convince me to get the goddamn piece of paper and look at it. Lol. I have no idea why I was literally weeping -.-

Now's the time to make choices- yet again. Limitations of course, but I know there are multiple doors. Thankful that zaizai korkor dedicated so much attention to giving me almost spontaneous replies about all the uni stuff :) No matter what, I know there are angels in my life. Life isnt too bad, afterall.

I still remember how I filled up the 10 choices for jc application. Lol. I could get into anything so I applied nonsense, like hcjc science, hcjc arts, raffles science raffles arts vj science vj arts.... But now that its more crucial it isnt the case anymore sigh

So, where shall I go from now?

2011-03-04T08:29:00.002+08:00

This post is coming at a totally wrong time, cos yes its 8.30am in the morning and I woke up naturally- 1 hour ago in fact. I totally couldnt sleep the entire night zzzzzzzz I had weird dreams of anything and everything revolving around a levels- they deprived me of quality sleep for even that mere three hours. Whats more's that I still have many many many hours more to go..

Since theres nothing much I can do now except await the arrival of 2pm which is just about five and a half hours away, I guess I need to distract myself a tad bit hmz. Right so Im gonna pretend that today is just a normal day and there is absolutely no explanation for why I am up and blogging at 8am in the morning. I just have nothing better to do besides waking up early and staring at the blank tv screen in front of me instead of getting my beauty sleep. Im totally not getting results later... I'll never be getting it. Right.

I swear Im gonna explode anytime. Moving on...

Rushed off to meet yfnh and bartender in the evening for a short pool session. Couldnt stay long though, cos I promised the rude boy to go out already, so couldnt really say no. Argh I have no idea why I got multiple requests to go out yesterday, when nobody wanted to go out on wed when I was so bored. Like seriously?! Anyway it felt good to touch pool again, after suffering from some minor withdrawal symptoms after the bintan trip. Bartender is like freaking dark now machiam malay zzz, while yfnh cut his finger while playing pool. Funny things happened to both of them. LOL. And...... Pool pretty much makes you feel shitty when you keep missing the cue for no goddamn reason. Must be cos of the resul..... Nah just kiddin.

Flew down to westmall after that, thank god I didnt take a cab down cos I was the first one to reach even though I had to travel from orchard to bukit batok- whats new seriously? One stay at yewtee, 2 at bukit batok... The other's at kallang so forgiveable. Ate churros after 300 years and I realise the taste is totally different from what I remembered it to be. Arent churros(s) hard? Soft one meh? LOL. Anyway we watched the horror movie ( which name I cant remember ) about the haunted ex girlfriend. It was... Weird. I cant say its not nice, nor can I say its nice, cos its neither. Its just unexpected but I guess it isnt really my kinda show. Not scary enough to be horror -.- Bought macs back after that and omgxxzxzxzxzxz NO MORE DOUBLE FILET O FISH HOW CAN THAT BE SO TRAUMATIC OMG. Bus-ed home with rude boy ! So kewl he actually lives near me lol

Right. So, this blogpost totally made me forget that Im collecting my results in abit. Make it 5 hours now. -_- Its absolutely torturing I swear, why cant we adopt the system of just collecting our results via online portals and what not?

BAH OKAY I STILL CANT STOP THINKING THAT IM COLLECTING MY RESULTS SO SOON OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG. Especially not when people are sending me goodluck messages telling me that I can do it and that they are sure I did well. Wtf. WHAT IF I DONT. Cant you tell me something like even if I didnt do well there are paths to take??? Or something along that line??????

Okay la actually what people say is pretty much insignificant now cos its more about the signal I myself am sending to my brain. Lol. Im taking things super negatively cos.. Maybe I want to prepare myself for the worst and not put my hopes high. At all. Not even averagely-high. Sigh.

How exactly did I feel when I was gonna collect my O levels results two years ago? I cant even remember. Did I even feel anything? AHHHHHHHH I HATE IT TWO PM FASTER COME AND GO PLS

Dear A levels, you have met your match. Alevelsresults suck more than you do.

2011-03-03T01:51:00.000+08:00

Omg I really cannot describe how I feel. Boredom is overwhelming me, together with the thousand and one dragonflies attacking my stomach. I suspect those dragonflies are replaced, they're now birds. I AM SO SCARED AND JITTERY I AM TOTALLY GONNA FLY AWAY SOON WTF.

I concluded awhile ago and prob already mentioned it on twitter, but Im gonna mention it again. I think Im more afraid of getting the results with everyone else, than getting the results. Im so much less fearful of receiving my results cos its just a reflection of how much my efforts have paid off during a levels period, and whether or not all that sacrifice of sleep and social life was worth it. I think in such a competitive environment, its so much less of the expectations we have of ourselves, but more of the expectations others have for us.

The more people tell me that Im gonna be okay cos I'll definitely do well since Im from hwachong, the burden in my heart feels heavier. It is that I think, that makes me feel that I am obliged to do well, or I'll be like the "odd one out". I really have a terrible feeling about friday, I dread it so much that I feel so desperate and helpless to get myself out of the "worst possible situation". What can I do now? I cant do anything. Cant do anything but wait for time to pass each second and "anticipate" the arrival of friday 2pm. No, Im nowhere near anticipating it. I cant possibly be.

I was just thinking about what I wanna do in future and I realized that what I want is really simple. I just want to carve an easy path for myself to allow myself to get a job that will get me a comfortable pay, enough for me to continue living the way I am living right now. Yes, there are successful people in every industry, so technically speaking it really doesnt matter what course you take/what industry or line you go into. But then again, I dont think I really aspire to be the top of the top, I dont need to become so professor or whatsoever, I just want a more smoothsailing and comfortable path. SIGH till now I have ZERO idea what I wanna do in future, besides giving the cliche answer when people ask me what Im interested to do in uni. Is that even what Im really interested in? I dont even know lol

I hate to live in this society when people judge you so much that you start to judge yourself as well. Thats when you begin to lose yourself

When I think about how my family members expect me to perform like I have been performing for my major exams; when I think about how my friends expect me to score well just cos Im a 2 pointer for my o levels; when I think about how people around me expect me to do extraordinarily cos I come from hwachong.... I dont dare to think anymore

I AM SO STRESSED UP ABOUT FRIDAY OMG FFFFFFFFFFFFFF

2011-03-02T03:42:00.002+08:00

Im trying to stay awake cos I know the next time I wake up, its clearly gonna be wed. Okay not like it makes a difference cos its already wednesday anyway. But...... I just dont want time to pass so quickly anymore. If I have to explain how Im feeling, I'd say there are dragonflies in my stomach. Its beyond the butterflies and its beyond just receiving the results. I feel so scared cos I know its just more than that. I just wanna scream noooooooooooooooo and hope our results never get released to us. Ever.

Life has just began to become more awesome and its time to snap back to reality. I hate this. Seriously. Why does reality have to be like that ugh

Talk about professionalism. You are neither professional nor pro so why are you talking about how lousy/shitty others are when you are nowhere near good yourself? Super hypocritical I know all you care about is that piece of note, thats about it. I mean its not wrong I guess, but why label yourself in such an honourable manner when you are nowhere near that? Its a matter of time I break free cos I'll no longer feel guilty, at least not when I know whatever you told me has been told to 31928319283921 other people/will be told to 2394812938129 more people in future.

Choices- simple things in life that could be more complicated. The decision to make one at the lowest opportunity cost, considering both long run and short run impacts. Sighhhhhhh. From fundamental choices like deciding who to go out with when two people ask you out, to tougher ones like which school to choose/what to do in future... Actually everything needs consideration. As I grow older, I realize how acting on impulse is absolutely retarded and wrong.. Everything has a consequence, regardless of how small/huge that decision is.

So I say, living is pretty much tiring.

We constantly think, decide, suffer, enjoy... Everything. This is life for you. And whats left when we're gone?

2011-02-28T02:02:00.003+08:00

Im getting really sleepy right now but theres just so much on my mind that I feel like ranting about, so much so that I will force myself to keep my eyes awake just to let some of it all out.

Was just thinking about all the politics involved in modelling... It really isnt my thing. I mean all I wanna do is just pose, shoot and give the best I can in a professional way for the photographers. I dont think that it is necessary at all for politics to come into the picture. The boundaries are just not set clearly enough, everything from pay to limits to respect.. Everything. Its not something I'd wanna pursue on a long term basis I guess, at least not if Ive to stoop down to what those girls do, eew. It just disgusts me how people like that get their way, seriously. Why is it SO POLITICAL UGH

Babies came to myplace today and we spent the whole afternoon watching tv, playing wii and playing mahjong- mostly playing mahjong. Teehee its awesome spending time with them even if we just nua at home and spend most of our time eating and dry swimming ^^ Beats walking on the streets for hours and hours doing nothing cos its the same actually, we still get to talk rubbish and gossip and share updates, except that we wont get tired and we have aircon to enjoy HAHA. ZOO SOON GIRLS. Or bird park ! Or anything la ! We should go somewhere soon- apart from my house ! :S

Im not looking forward to seeing them again though, cos the next time we meet would be the release of A levels results. I cant reallyexpress myfeeling towards it. The fear of anticipation is overwhelming me so much that I cant bear to remember the days so friday would never come- hopefully. I actuallyhope I fall so ill that I dont have to collect results on friday lol, just so that I dont have to face putting up a strong front, if I have to-but hopefully not. I feel so scared even though I know theres nothing I can do. Im already anticipating the worst, I just dont know how to react should the worst really take place.

Why does time pass so fast? 2dec seems just like yesterday, when we finished our last paper and embraced for joy that our papers were finally over. Why is d-day approaching so quickly?

Damn my eyes are soooooo freaking painful, the eye infection is coming again. It always come for no reason I swear, super retarded. Maybe Im fated to never wear contacts, some blood vessel or something must have burst inside. I can see the red bloodylines in my eyes. Someone tell me why?

Most of the time, Im proving to myself that no one is indispensable. What seems impossible is possible, eventually. It isnt so bad afterall, I guess :)

2011-02-26T17:11:00.002+08:00

After five days straight, Im finally not at the hospital anymore cos grandpa's getting better already and Im not needed at the hospital today :) That night was so scary, I was so afraid that something would happen to him... It didnt make things better how people started crying here and there :/ But anyway, depressing and worrying things aside, hes getting better now teehee and I hope he'll be discharged really soon :D :D

Haven really been going out or whatever at all, the last time was monday night when lover, yfnh, korkor dearie and myself met up for dinner at nex. Had crystal jade which was like just so so, nothing fantastic. Kinda disappointing cos I usually enjoy my meals at crystal jade but its pretty subjected to the branch so I concluded that taka's is still the best :) Went to take a walk at the skypark and looked at dogs + guinea pigs + skinny pigs HAHAHAHA, before we headed for dessert story to play monopoly deal and try desserts LOL. Shared chocolate ice, mango ice, honeydew sago and milo ice, and then we each ordered carrot cake, peanut(or pumpkin or sesame or something i cant rmb) paste, milo ice and mango ice respectively. 8 desserts in total -_- The milo ice and mango ice is good ! Dont really like the chocolate one, while the honeydew sago was just passable. Heh. I like to do dinners like this :)

I prettymuch spenttoday doing nothing cos I woke up really late, at 4pm. Lol. I actually dont like days like these, cos theres nothing much I can do when its already say, evening time? I hate staying at home on saturdays cos I suffer from why-the-fuck-am-i-staying-at-home-on-a-saturday-syndrome. I get all pissed off over nothing - Yes thats the worst thing that can happen cos NOTHING IN THE WORLD CAN MAKE ME FEEL BETTER. Unless I go out. But at the same time, i feel lazy too cos I just woke up! So ironic I know lol

But then again, I had an awesome awesome day yesterday! Spent my entire night and morning with darren, after having met him at tampines mall. Bought tickets for shaolin ( zomgwtfbbq FINALLY AFTER FOREVER ) and went to sit at some outdoor area while we talked nonstop lol. Actually I realize thats what we do when we go out-talk nonstop. Cos our movie was at 11.50pm and it was only 7+, we walked around and looked and stuff while talking teehee, we even went kiddy palace and toys r us LOLOLOL got that little noobhead noob kiddy boy a tamiya TOY car he wanted as vday present -_- So big liao still play toy LOL

Super coincident to see MI boy jer at tm hahahahaha with his "girlfriend" LOLOLOL. Teehee its a small world afterall ! :D Wendy's for dinner or whatever you call it and it wasnt as bad as people say it is what ! I had the fish burger and it was quite nice in fact ! O: Not sure how the chicken tastes like though, but its quite good leh hahahahaha why does everyone say its bad? Taught noobhead how to play monop deal and he was pretty much addicted to it and refused to stop playing until he won me once, which he eventually didnt cos it was already like 12am when our movie was at 1150pm HAHA. HOW ADDICTED but thank god we only missed the first 30secs of the show or something :X

Shaolin was damn good seriously, thank god we went to catch the show before it gets taken down ! I think it was prob the last screening or something hahaha. Super exciting plus adrendaline pumping plus I like the plot ! At least not everyone survives- so unrealistic. The stupid boy was soo obssessed with trying to win me that we sat at macdonalds after the show to continue with our monop deal teehee, and we actually played from 2am all the way till 6am in the morning. Never eaten so many meals of fast food in a day before, that was my first ! 1 double filet o fish, 1 double filet o fish meal plus wendy's for dinner previously... Scary ! :O

But days like these, catching up with people I enjoy being with, are awesome :)

2011-02-23T09:50:00.002+08:00

Just when thoughts about life engulfed me as I was typing the previous post, I got to know that my grandfather was admitted into the hospital yesterday. Its like I just know about these things before Im informed. After spending about 5-6hours at the hospital to help monitor his condition yesterday, I suddenly recalled all the moments I had with him when I was a kid. I suddenly miss how he held my hand as a little kid to bring me buy lu dan everyday after he knocked off from work at a fruit stall. Thats one of the only things I can remember about him, besides that huge smile on his face ):

I guess I can say Im the only grandchild that has gotten the chance to witness for myself the adorable side of my grandfather. He slipped and fell and knocked his head when I was much younger, more than ten years ago. To be honest, I was so young then I dont really remember what happened. All I know was that fall had a huge impact on his life, granny's lives and our lives, since he suffered from brain related issues after that :/ But even though he screams at the maid like crazy and does irritating things like spit at her, I know thats not really what he wants to do. He just cannot help it :/Im sure he wont wanna be like that if he had a choice.

Nevertheless, even though hes already 81, I do believe that he still has a long way to go. Hes getting better now with the pneumonia slowly clearing, and medicine helping to regulate his heartbeat. He will put through, he will. Gong gong, you must. Pains me to see you like this, pains me to see granny and gu gu cry by your bedside :(

Please be strong, I wanna see you at home.

2011-02-22T03:55:00.003+08:00

its 3.55am in the morning and Im wondering about things. Okay not exactly. I was wondering about things, but not much now. The thoughts have more or less dissipated. Its always the case when Im intending to blog it out hm. I was just thinking about life, the things I wanna do and everything. Maybe I should just do yet another random post and blog out all my random thoughts. Feel pretty troubled these days and the worst thing is that its over nothing specific in particular -.- Sounds super retarded I knowwww

Each and every day, I see people change, see people grow up, see people turn for the better, see people turn for the worse. I met up with rude boy and dearest and joker on saturday, and we walked around paragon for like the entire day. What I never imagined was to be walking at paragon area with them, entering the high end shops... They changed too, I guess. Nothing will remain stagnant, ever. I wonder if one day they will no longer be childish in the way they talk ( cos they still are lololol ) hmmmm and I just cant imagine it.

A levels results are coming out so soon that I dont know what to do. Lol. I mean theres nothing I can do but I dont know how to face the fact that its coming out already. I dont know what to expect from myself and seriously I dont know how to face the stress of having to go to school to collect results with everyone else, and I dont know how to feel prepared just in case, if I have to be the only one crying while everyone is smiling away. A levels seem just awhile ago and I remember telling myself its a long long way to the release of the results but now, its just about another 2 weeks plus away, IF the release is really on march4th. To a certain extent, I do hope the system crashes or something and the papers get burnt so all our results will be gone forever and we will never ever get to see it. Bah.

Uni..... I seriously dont know what Im feeling about it. To some extent, Im looking forward to it, just like I had that tiny bit of anticipation for jc before I entered. That feeling of starting afresh, of being a good girl and being mature enough to be responsible for all the stupid decisions I make... But in the end I didnt keep to any promise I made to myself anyway. So... Should I or should I know be feeling excited about a "brand new start"?

After that, Im aware that before I know it, I'll be out in the society working already. Growing up... Its a scary process to me. I dont know how to grow up anymore, it seems like 18 is my maximum age. I dont want to grow anymore, dont want to be any more independent, dont want to face anything that may come my way in future. There, Im not ready for adulthood, yet.

I really hate for time to pass cos that just means that my grandparents are getting older and older, my parents are aging everyday, my friends are changing too... Everything. Everything seems bad as we get older, doesnt it? Well at least, it does for me. In the sense that, I really dont wana grow up. I dont want people to leave, dont want people to change. Things may not be the perfect-est it can be now but if I could, I'd choose to freeze time now. Time is really a scary thing to me :/ Sighhhhh

Where do people go after they die? Do people still remember anything? Do they actually feel anything?

Then...... what are we working so hard for in our lives? Are we a creation, or are we just involved in a cycle of repeat?

Im quite tired to be in the modelling line also. If you think its easy money ( which I used to think it was ) you are so wrong :/ Its goddamn torturing to be walking around in those heels and posing in mud, grass, water, and what have you. Having up to conjure up the next pose while considering if it looks ok from the angle of each photographer........ Sigh. I think Im getting old. And tired. Ive barely started on this for 2 mths. Its only been a month plus, but Im already so exhausted. So much for truly enjoying myself.

Im just pretty confused about my life now.

I am so tired- literally and un-literally.

Can time just stop ticking already? Maybe reset it to 8pm and let it stop there forever so I can spend time with my family, friends, and everyone I love- forever.

2011-02-20T23:29:00.003+08:00

Shall attempt to finish part 3 of my bintan post by today, I hope I dont procrastinate further or feel too lazy to recall and describe it. Have had a long long day today, and yesterday as well. Haven had enough sleep SIGH but I shall religiously complete this x.x

Right so I was at day 2 night ! :) We had alot alot alot of rupiah left and it was already day 2, so we decided to spend it since theres nothing much to buy there anyway. LOL. Wanted to go for dinner at somewhere better/more high class, yet worth it, not something ridiculous like 2 pieces of sushi for 18sgd. LOL. So after limmin, mina and myself explored the resort lobby and dining places ( for the first time we were there -.- ) we settled for this mediterrenean restaurant and I think it was pretty good :)

The restaurant's called orzo, and Im glad we chose that over kopi-o buffet dinner. ( same place we have buffet for lunch every single morning -.- -.- -.- ) Typically people will go for the buffet but we wanted some quality, so we headed for orzo instead ! :) We were served complimentary ( gross and disgusting looking to me but everyone swiftly finished it ) greens, as well as bread, apart from our main course. I still remember eating seafood pasta, omg niceeee hahaha I likey ! I think nicer than amici in singapore leh :) And it was just worth the experience cos usually as a class we wouldnt go places like these :)

We went back to the villa to play again after that, I think it was mahjong. I remember waik being a little high and seh cos he took tequila during dinner ( which he insisted had no effect on him but wtv he was damn high and scary D: ) and I remember cooking supper for them only awhile after we had dinner. LOL -.- Really my first time cooking anything close to a proper meal for anyone, with the help of mina and limmin of course hahaha but it was fun ! We had sausages with pasta yumz :D Breakfast the next morning at kopi-o again :)

We went back to the villa to prepare for checkout after that so we wouldnt be in a rush when it was time. The service people were damn nice to allow us to delay our check out time heh ! Request for it ! :) And.. whats packing up without camwhoring? :D We took photos in every single part of the villa HAHA. Well, almost every single part ! From top right hand corner in the anti clockwise direction- our door step, porch at the swimming pool, (empty like hell) fridge, gambling room, our bedroom, our extra mattress(that we stole from the bed from the other rm and didnt put back =x), our wardrobe, and our bathroom ! :)

Our villa was really really huge so we really had an awesome time camwhoring. But then its like the guys wont camwhore (duh) so it was only the three of us teehee. From top right in the anti clockwise direction again, jerrold&hongliang's (messy) room, waik&zhiyi's (dirty) room, door, staircase, 2nd floor living rm, my milo cups that I couldnt live without, waik (who failed to hide from the cam while lying like a king in the living room), and mina&limmin with the (super awesome) aircon ( hallucinating that they're doing an advert HAHA ) :D

I really like the villa so much so much, its so huge ! There're a total of like 4 bedrooms, 4 toilets, god knows how many living rooms, ah I cant even recall. Its just huge la, can fit like 4 families. LOL. Right so I think limmin, mina and myself were at the lobby trying to waste rupiah by buying souvenirs after that. I bought a super chio dress and its quite cheap lor teehee. Awesome for beach shoots. Anyway the guys left for pool without telling us, but we met them on the way and when we went back, we were greeted by a note which wrote "we have gone to PLAY POOL. -lan ji au" LOL SO KEWT

Went to join them after that to play our 7 people game teehee and sooner than we thought, it was time to go homeeeee =( Checked out and boarded the bus back to the ferry terminal like immediately. What I hated was that it was raining cats and dogs and pigs then, and on our way back it was sooooooooooooooo bumpy =( I was so afraid that the ferry would capsize any time LOL kept grabbing on to the people around me and making noise :S

Okay yay this sums up my whole trip !!!! I mean it wasnt anything awesome, how to compare to hongkong or whatever that you pay a much higher price for? But the company was still good enough, I think I enjoyed myself generally? :)

My hp left 1/100. I need to sleep. Hp pot please? LOL

2011-02-18T23:35:00.000+08:00

Since theres nothing much to do now while Im watching my show, I shall finish up my bintan posts asap :) Where was I ! Right, end of day one ^^

We slept pretty early for a group of people on holiday ( since people usually ton through the night when they're 'playing' hahaha ), went to bed at like 1am or so bintan time, cos we wanted to go for the complimentary breakfast provided by the hotel the next morning, so cant wake up too late ^^ I cant express how excited I was to go for breakfast cuz the thing I love most about staying in hotels overseas would be the breakfast. LOL. Taiwan's was shitty cuz we went with the school and hongkong hotels dont provide complimentary breakfast ! The buffet breakfast at kopi-o was good :D I had so many cups of tea LOL. And Im missing the egg with ham and cheese omg :'(

Took separate buggy rides down to the beach to experience the whole atmosphere again- this time in the daylight. The previous evening we went wasnt as awesome for phototaking cos it was getting dark and the flash was quite annoying, cant capture the beauty of the whole place at all. So this time we went again, and Im glad we did ! Heh the wind and waves were awesomeeeeexzxz. Looking at the photos once again makes me miss the place so much... And the company :)

I really really really like how the tides can come in so suddenly ( so much so that mina's shorts were totally drenched by an incoming wave while we were taking photo HAHAHA ) and in no time the water can be like thigh-height when originally you were standing on sand without water at all -.- And there were all these random sea creatures or whatever you call it that were swept ashore omg I have photos of them, but Im not gonna include them into the collage cos they're so disgusting -.- It was fascinating though, they grew on random things like logs and plastic bottles o.o

Due to the monsoon season, we couldnt take part in any water activities, like snorkelling or dno what. Actually I never knew jan was monsoon season -.- I thought monsoon season is like sept or something? I have no idea teehee, anyhow guess one. Anyway everything was super expensive, I cant remember the actual prices but it was ridiculous, for most of it. So we signed up for this journeyful account, which entitled each of us to one free activity voucher. Combined everything together and went for archery ! Hahaha quite cool la the last time I played was during sec school or something and I remember hating it. I still suck at it until now lol !

Skills wise, I kinda recall zhiyi being the most imba one hahahaha. He is damn good seriously, you just cant see the target boards clearly teehee. My arrows flew everywhere :D And I like the guy who was in charge ! He was super nice and patient and everything, heh. Kinda cool and unexpected that we would go to bintan to shoot arrows -_- LOL

Pool+table tennis after that, but table tennis was so boring so we abandoned it after abit and focused on pool instead. Teehee teamed up and played some... Different version of a pool table game. I dont even know whats the name of the game cos I think it doesnt really have a name hmmmmmmmxz. But it was fun la we taught mina and limmin how to play pool from scratch lor :D Accomplishment teehee. Went to the public pool to swim after that zomgggg I miss the slide ! But I remember spraining my ankle slightly and I semi learnt how to swim teehee !

Walao I cannot already I need to sleepppppppppppppppp, super sleepy and tired especially after the shoot today, the flash totally killed my eyes at the studio. I shall continue tomorrow, with day 2 dinner ! :S

Gonna meet dearest and rude boy and joker tomorrow. The last time the four of us met as the four of us was like... july 2009? LOL. On my birthday. Wtf. Okay I need to sleep goodnight baizxzxz

2011-02-17T15:58:00.004+08:00

I wanted to blog about the full three days of bintan trip but as I was editting the photos, I realized I kept almost every photo wtf -.- Probably cant do the full three days all at once, maybe I'll start off with day one first. A little procrastination is better than 100% procrastination teehee, especially since the bintan trip happened like almost a month ago, haven been able to get down to it until now s:

Never knew where to take ferry, until the bintan trip on 24th jan hahaha. So hard to get to tanah merah ferry terminal la wtf, was so scared that we would be late :/ Checkin was pretty simple and it was the first time I had to do everything by myself, usually mummy would be the one doing it lol. Boarded the ferry, but I forgot the name teehee its been so long already.. It was hugeeeee hahaha and lots of space :D I like ! The guys fell asleep the moment we boarded though teehee!

Arrived and took the bus that picked us up to send us to bintan lagoon resorts. I think the next time I'll go for nirwana, have been hearing how much better nirwana is compared to bintan lagoon. S: Anyway, we began with the checkin and got the biggest shock of our lives, cos we didnt bring my mom's credit card -.- Cos when I made the booking it seemed as though we've already paid for it using the credit card, ended up they say actually it isnt paid for yet, need to present the credit card zzzzzzzz otherwise must use cash wtf. Luckily mummy could fax the credit card details over or we'd have been in trouble :S The service people very nice though :D Took a bus ride to our villa, A07 ! I still remember lor hahaha. Was greeted by our buggy which waik excitedly took off with -.- Wtf he literally snatched the keys from me before we even entered the villa lor -.-

Went around exploring the place and spent a long time on the buggy ( which limmin crashed multiple times hahahaha ) and had lots and lots of fun, before we took a cab out to pasar oleh oleh, a nearby village. Was told that theres alot of things to buy there thats not too ex but no leh, nothing at all one -_- Met alot of waik's ahbangs (LOL inside joke) who kept asking us to go for spa massage, and had lunch+dinner at some cafe there, the food was just okay but nothing special I guess! Was quite disappointing but its quite a good place to shop for drinks and tidbits and magi and what not cos its so much cheaper than the marts at the resoort -_-

Back to the villa to slack after that while the guys were fighting over the buggy. I swear the fought over the buggy for three full days. The enthusiasm like never die one leh. Guess this is why girls are more mature than guys. LOL. They just kept going on buggy rides hahaha maybe this is the result of not owning a license :S And they kept laughing at how lousy our driving skills were damnit LOL. :'( I almost reversed the buggy into our pool hahahaha and all I could do was scream nonstop LOL

Visited the beach afterthat and it was.. awesome. I cant describe how breathtaking it was. The beach was so huge it seemed as though there was no end to it. The water was so clear and when the tides came along, you could see fishes being swept onshore. The pictures simply dont do justice to the real place, though they are already super pretty and naise heh. Breathtaking ! I miss it already. But I wonder what people do on the beaches there, dont really seem suitable for doing anything else besides screaming hahahaha

Got ourselves sandy and dirty but thank god our villa was just a short walk away :) The guys are pretty nice though, let us take the buggy back teehee. We went for a swim in our private pool and it was awesomeeeeeeeee hahahaha. What more can you expect seriously? Blasting music while sipping alcohol by the pool, staring at the bright sky filled with stars :) Sooooo pretty ! Only downside to it was that we were all wrinkly after that teehee. Pompom-ed after that and it was supper time with sausages and instant noodles for the guys, and we practically sweeped all the tidbits and potato chips and what not we bought there LOL -.- Mahjong and monop deal after that teehee :) I miss those times ! Just slacking and relaxing and doing nothing :)

Okay see I cant go on with day two and three cos Im too lazy to compile the photos into collages and I gotta prepare to go out for dinner with the family already ! :)

Watching zhuan jiao yu dao ai now, I know Im very slow LOLOL but I finally have the time to sit down and start watching a new drama! Cried my eyes out in the first four episodes already, sigh.

Will crying too much make you hungry? Im hungry!

I wonder how you are

2011-02-15T17:41:00.003+08:00

I realise nowadays I like to compile the photos into collages and just blog one or two photos. I think its a good thing actually, so I wont exceed my bandwith any time soon, nor will I make my blog super lag like I used to before ( HAHAHA I used to post ALL my photos one by one in full size wtf there could be like 40 photos in one post -.- ) :D But thats provided I dont get lazy teehee

So... yesterday was valentines day ! Im so used to doing all the card and writing and decorating stuff that Im getting quicker and quicker when I get my hands on it. I didnt spend too long on lover's vday letter and it turned out pretty pretty ! Right lover? Teehee. It was just a simple day and I only got a rose, mascara and baked a huge jar of cookies for her :) But then again, its not the gifts or whatever that matters, its the company ! ^^ Met at marche for dinner and thank god the queue wasnt as terrible as I expected, though there was this lesbian couple in front of me zzzzzzzz. Its not that I despise them or what but I really dont like how they get touchy in public. I hope I dont get flamed LOL

Had the same thing I had the last time, grilled fish :/ Not very good sigh I had seabass, I think the last time I had red snapper thus it was better. But actually I cant remember. I actually like the potato thingy lover had, cant remember the name but its what marche's famous for. The clear chicken soup is awesome too ^^ Sat around and then went to shop for office wear for my interview, nehneh so hard to get office wear SIGHHHHHH ended up buying a skirt from f21 that is way too huge for me but no choice. went to the sentosa boardwalk after that, I never knew it existed -.- Walk until my leg almost broke when I reached home ZZZZ. I hope everyone had an awesome vday ! ^^ Happy valentine(s-we forgot the s =x) Day 2 u ! LOL

I was really mad and angry yesterday but since its over, Im not gonna rant any further. But seriously, we should learn to count our blessings and not take for granted the people around us. We never knew when they will leave us, even though it seems as though they are okay with how they are being taken for granted. Like I said, it only SEEMS as though its okay. It might not be the case. Everyone has feelings. Nobody likes being taken for granted. Fact, not myth. No one fights forever, even if the person is worth fighting. Such an irony. If the person is worth fighting for, he/she wont bear to let you fight.

Met up with the cedar volleyballers last friday, after like years. The last time I met them was in 08, before the new year countdown to 09. Lol everyone pretty much feels the same, just much girly-er than before for some of them haha. Was supposed to go food for thought for dinner but ended up walking for like an hour before we ended up at fish and co cuz it was full house everywhere. Stupid friday night. Nevertheless it was nice catching up with everyone over dinner and yay Im looking forward to our picnic on the 13th of march :) Too bad superglue and chantal werent around ): It'd have been perfect with them !

Was supposed to go for my interview today afternoon but it was postponed last minute, kinda nervous and happy cuz my nervous feeling was completely depleted HAHAHAHA but I bet it will start building up again tomorrow morning ): Cant wait to get the job though :)

Its total defence day today! Happy total defence day and thankyou to the awesome soldiers and guys/girls protecting us and the nation and whatever! I think Im totally talking crap, of cuz I know total defence is not just about military defence, but I thought of (him)... (again goddamnit lolz). He must be fighting tigers and lions now. Are they even in the jungle? I doubt so LOL o:

Sleepy gas hitting me againnnn

2011-02-14T14:47:00.003+08:00

14Feb, and its valentines day ! Happy valentines day to all you happy/sad/in love/lonely people out there :) Valentines day isnt just for lovers to show their love for one another, its a time for friends to express their love for one another as well ! At least thats what I feel :) :) Its a time you revisit your memory to find the friends you love/once loved, and maybe send a simple message of love :) Or something !

Valentines day for me has been super exciting every year since I would say, secondary school days. Its always a day of giving and I'd always be lugging bags and bags of presents to school to give out heh, thats why I like valentines day :D Its like a day of givingggg wheeee. But this year I feel extremely bored cos theres no school and Im rotting at home ): I dont really like to accept dates from guys who dont really know me, its like giving them the wrong idea lollllllllllllllllllllllllll so Im gonna meet lover for dinner later :)

Come to think of it, I have never celebrated valentines day with a partner, in the sense of a boyfriend. LOL. Quite amazing leh Im already turning 19 hahahaha BUT it doesnt bother me :)

Like some people say, if youre in love, everyday's valentines day. So actually there shouldnt be much of a difference should it, its just a date :S Then again, I wonder how hes doing in camppppppp lolllll wish I could give him his favourite cookies handmade by meee but I cantttttt ugh )=

Today, I keep thinking of various people. Have yet to sms them one by one but I randomly thought of some used-to-be-very-important-people LOL. I wonder hows everyone doing hm. Time really flies, now that I think back, my memories with them are in terms of years -.-

Valentines day aside, it was mummy's birthday yesterday ! It reminds me how old Im getting lol. Mummy's already 46 ( though she absolutely doesnt look like it :D ) and its like Im already turning 19 this year. It scares me alot how time flies, especially when I corelate it with life and death. Nevertheless, I was so happy seeing how she liked her bday present which I spent days making wtf hahahaha scrapbooking is soooooo tough ! I hope she enjoyed her birthday though it wasnt anything special :) Just a simple dinner at crystal jade restaurant ! Xiaolongbao buffet hahahahaha I miss the soup already !

Saturday was spent with the clique at my place, gambling from afternoon to night hahhahaha. It was fun though laughing throughout and cursing bartender with soft toys cos he keeps winning nonstop wtf. His rate of winning is like unbelievable one leh, machiam use hack ( quoted from yfnh ^^ ) LOL. Regardless of what we played, be it dai dee or si ki pi or blackjack, he always win one -.- Only the last round of daidee he lose only. Had steamboat too but no pictures cuz I was busy eating LOL :X Had so much fun with them around, totally looking forward to the next outing already :D

Abit looking forward to working, its getting boring rotting at home everyday lolxzxz ):

2011-02-11T02:39:00.002+08:00

I think I have nothing better to do seriously. I went to reactivate my formspring teehee. Used to have it just to ask questions, but didnt tell anyone of the url or anything lol ! Just finished mummy's scrapbook, left with two pages but I cant complete it cuz the printer makes lots of noise and everyone's sleeping right now O: Wa but so far I do until damn chio sia LOL super happy and proud of it teehee. Shall post photos when I have the mood !

What should I do tomorrow? Bahhhhhh.

I wonder how he is now. First day of ns should have been pretty scary and traumatising. I mean, just imagine first day of school, but knowing NO ONE AT ALL, in a STERN AND STRICT environment ( unlike orientation ), away from home ): So poor thing sighhhhhhhh I hope hes doing okay I hope its not like dirty or gross or whatever. Im sure he misses his bed, he told me before how important his bed is to him ://///

Alrighty I need to stop thinking of nonsense lol.

Ohyes. My formspring url ! www.formspring.me/maviscjy
:D Till then !

2011-02-10T04:21:00.003+08:00

Its 4.21am now and here I am, sitting in the hall with the laptop on my lap, sipping on hot milo. Im feeling pretty sleepy but my body seems to be fighting all the sleepy spells. Subconsciously, I think I just dont want tomorrow to come. I spent the entire night doing mummy's scrapbook and Im only a quarter through. Only like six pages done, fourteen more to go. Totally zero inspiration left and suffering from a serious shortage of photos, guess I totally underestimated how much effort this would take. Shouldnt I be sleeping already?

The guys are enlisting tomorrow and sigh, its hitting me quite significantly. I mean its not like there is much of a difference to me at this point of time but its something I have been dreading since.. June? Lol. I might have just laughed it off and secretly feel glad that Im a girl and not a guy, or that ns is compulsory only for guys... But not since I didnt want someone to leave.

Maybe Im in no position to dread, but I still do. Theres this feeling of worry and unease inside me. It actually triggered all my memories all over again ): Who to find now when theres some serious family dispute? Sighhhhh I miss youxzxzxz

2011-02-09T12:36:00.004+08:00

The most frequent question Ive been asked this cny must have been: "Which course do you want to go to?" This gives me the creeps, really. The thought of A levels results being released in a month's time is driving me crazy. I keep on thinking, what if Im the only one being left behind? What if I'll be the one left behind crying while everyone is beaming with joy with their result slip in hand? :/ Bah I just like to think of the worst scenario.

The second most frequent question would be on relationships. Seriously, do I believe in love? Well yes I do, just not now. :) I think I kinda forgot how to love someone. Maybe I never knew. I dont know !

Well ! Cny has been pretty hectic for me, day in day out visiting/being visited, 4 days straight from day to night D: We had reunion dinner way before cny eve so cny eve was spent at holland v's korean restaurant, but I dont remember the name :X Actually we wanted to go for the xiaolongbao buffet lor, but then we didnt make reservations so it was fully booked -.- The food at the korean restaurant was... Different. First time visiting a korean restaurant, but I would never go back again cuz I felt zero satisfaction from it hahahaha it was just average and not worth it lor :O But besides that the customer service was awesome :D

Day one was visiting at granny's and then at godgranny's, followed by steamboat at home like we have every year ! Except that this year was different, cuz er gu gu's family joined us and it was fun having more people at the dining table :D Can eat less also cuz busy cooking for other people =x Da gu gu's family came after that as well and we played with the children, kept them entertained and everything. As Im growing older, I actually feel that Im losing the ability to play with kids lololol I have no idea how to keep them entertained D: But it was fun playing poker with kenwei and nigel teeheee :D I likey poker it makes me high !

Usually, day two would be like super interesting and fun cuz theres loads and loads of gambling and everything but as we all grow older, I think we become less excited when it comes to gambling, and blackjack no longer appeals as much as before. Now its more of mahjong, poker, and 4? I dont know what its called in english but its called si ki in hokkien O: Anyway I have no idea what its about. So .. I cant even remember what we did lor. Time passed pretty quickly for the scarily little things we did. Kayden is a darling though ! So is kristen :D

Photoshoot on day 3 morning, which was a bitch. I swear I will never shoot alone with 8 photographers again, + under fucking hot sun at sentosa. I couldnt even open my eyes okay. It was so freaking terrible and stressful I never wanna do it again goddamnit. Went to visit some ex-gangster granduncle hahaha, before going home and everyone came over. It was the same group so... Just as boring as the day before lolzxz

Mass gathering at one of the uncle's place on day 4, with noobhead and the rest ! It was just a pretty short visit cuz there were tonnes of other activities packed D: Felt kinda bad but bahhhhhhh nevermind, hope we get to meet again soon ! Oh I think I didnt blog about the other day when I went out with noobhead noob for a movie- Hereafter, ( Which I think has a terrible ending wtfomgbbq ) and we actually ate CARLS JUNIOR. Wtf yes the stupid boy wanted to eat carls junior -.- But it was fun catching up with him and we literally talked from beginning to end :D Its kinda cool for me to be comunicating so well with an "uncle" teehee

I seem to have digressed. Right. So next was visiting at mrs tan's place, I likey her place ! Hahahaha and I was soooo late despite being the organizer, thank god everyone found their way there pretty smoothly, with the exception of myself who got lost -.- We then hailed a cab to singapore island country club to meet miss kim, teehee had pool and singing session, but mel haven uploaded the photos so I can only upload the limited photos I have with me now. Sigh the last time we see the boys with hair ! O:

And yuppppp now that cny's over, I seem to be very very free, even free-er than before cny. Maybe cuz theres nothing to prepare for now and nothing to do, bahhhh Ive been rotting at home every single day ! Gonna spend the whole of today doing mummy's birthday present :)

I dreamt of you again last night. Made me think of inception which I re-watched again. Maybe Ive locked you in my dreams and thats the only place I can revisit you and the memories we had.

Maybe it isnt too bad afterall. At least, I get what I want :)

I hope I dont go into limbo. HAHAHA

2011-02-07T00:46:00.003+08:00

Im ultra sleepy now though its only 12.46am ( Which is soooooooo early compared to my normal sleeping time ) but I decided to keep my eyes open for the sake of reviving my semi dead blog hahahahaha. I haven been posting ever since last week cuz of cny and now that its finally half over, my weekdays are practically unoccupied so I can afford to sleep late again.

But, I dont really feel like blogging about cny, yet. Neither do I feel like doing up my bintan post.

I was crying last night as I thought about things and I just felt as though I shouldnt be doing this to myself anymore. Its hard to be strong, isnt it? Its always easier said than done, isnt it? I guess its always easier to direct an action than to put it into action.

I always hear friends telling me about how much they are suffering in their relationships, how emo nemo they are over whoever whoever, but all I can always do is to give my two cents, voice out my opinion, and thats about it. When it comes to myself, I think Im not decisive or strong enough to keep to what I say. I know its not easy, but that shouldnt be an excuse, should it? Its all in the mind- Thats what I always say, and what I believe in, but not what I carry out, apparently.

Frankly speaking, Im someone who really doesnt need that someone else in my life, at least not at this stage of my life. I dont NEED someone there, and in fact most of the time I dont readily welcome that sort of someone into my life. Somehow or another, at the right time right place right occasion things happen and mindsets change and feelings, the most annoyingly contradicting thing on earth adjust as well. I cant help it that this keeps happening. Okay maybe keep is an exaggeration. But twice in two years, Ive had enough of it.

You were different, that Im sure. Maybe thats why. You dont ask me to cheer up explicitly when Im upset, you let me watch peter chao videos to make me laugh. You dont give me politically correct advice when I need help, you scold me when you know its the best for me. You dont follow everyone else to chide me when I did what I wanted to do, you genuinely supported me in whatever I wanted to, as long as I remained safe and sound. You dont just say goodbye to me when I leave your side, you keep reminding me to stay safe. Maybe thats why you left a greater impact to me. Maybe.

From strangers to acquaintances to good friends to more than friends to friends-that-seem-like-strangers, it feels as though I took my emotions on a rollercoaster ride. The only thing is that it seems to end at the same point, for no particular reason. Ive been trying to find a reason or explanation for all these for a long long time, only to realize as I grew older and experienced more, that all these happen because of THE word: Change. Just so happens that these people changed more quickly, or that they're just insecure. Nope its not the change as in the change of heart, but the change of direction and decision making. Something like that.

I really really really really really miss you. But its not the current you, which is why Im not doing anything for you anymore. I miss the old you, I miss the old times, I miss the old us. I miss everything from your sweet messages that melt me, to your company in class physically and virtually, to the strength you give to me when Im weak, to the care and concern you show, to the times we spend together during outings, to sharing secrets and codes that only we understand, to staying up to chat all night, to waiting for each other before we go to bed, to being there for each other, to playing l4d together, to the priority you give to me, to the sacrifice you made for me... I really miss those times, pushing bikes together, having you listen to me cry...

For me to be willing to stay up for someone just to keep him company while he completes his tasks, I think I really loved you. But then again, youre not the same anymore. I loved you, but that is past tense already, isnt it?

From the moment you decided to give up everything we shared, and shatter the promises we made, just because you PREDICTED how things would eventually turn out, everything took for a change. That was it, I guess.

And now since it was the OLD you I loved, why am I feeling upset over the non-existent you now?

Bah I know I still miss you, but it'll be okay. Im sure it will. I'll keep the remaining memories I have of you, deep inside my heart :')

2011-01-30T23:48:00.002+08:00

I feel somewhat like a useless person right now. Everyone's gonna go to school/work tomorrow but here I am, doing nothing. Probably gonna sleep in and only wake up late to go shopping with mummy. Im beginning to dislike slacking, its getting boring hmz. Too lazy to get down to writing my resume though, the thought of work turns me off just as much. Sigh, such contradiction isnt it :/ I dont know what Im thinking right now grrrr.

Cny is just a little while away, and Im already fully booked all the way till I dont know when. I seriously keep getting my schedule mixed up and lots of events end up clashing with one another. Luckily the shoot today could be cancelled, cuz we had reunion dinner heh ! Borin though, stuck at the adult table, no kids to play with/camwhore with lolol. I felt this year's dinner was even more meaningless than the last, never even chit chat or whatever :/ But well I think its a blessing that we still get to gather as a family of twenty :) I hope grandpa will continue to hang in there.. It breaks my heart to see how hes losing control more every day... :/

Anyway, the food at peach gardens was not bad ! I love the soup zomgbbq damn awesome pls, so thick ! The chicken and fish were awesome too, the rest were just so so :) Super looking forward to cny cuz I have many many new clothes to don !!! WHEE

Before I continue clearing backlogs, I just wanted to voice my opinion on something. Why do people update their facebook statuses as though they're tweets? Its freaking annoying zzz. Yes its my choice whether or not to read, but seriously they're all over my newsfeed, I couldnt miss it unless I remove these crazy people as my friends. Its just irritating I swear, I mean, updating a status of goodnight people ! ?!?! It just.. doesnt quite make sense. I mean, if you update your feelings or something, fine. But goodnight? Good morning? EVERYDAY? WTF.

Was out with dearest last sat ( omg time really flies it IS LAST saturday we are talking about wth ) and actually I cant remember what we did. LOL. All we did was chitchat non stop from sakae, to my place, and then to bugis, and lastly balestier for bak kut teh. Shopped at bugis and it was awesome fun cuz we saw so much stuff omg its been damn long since I really shopped there. Only got a maxi though teehee but it was exactly the design I was looking for ! :D And it was just in time to be worn to my bintan trip wheeeheee. Monopoly deal at macs after that, stupid girl keep "EH PLEASEEEEEEEEEEE, let me la :( " LOL grrr. Looks like I infected another person to be in love with the game heh. And we had so much fun refilling bak kut teh, we had 8 bowls. LOL. Im missing the liver soup already D:

Saturday was photo shoot at merchant square, my first time there. Never knew that place existed anyway. It was with inping and bp very lame-ly called it the ma-ple shoot -.- ( mavis + apple LOL ) super lameee hahahaha. I dont really have much photos cuz some posted, some didnt etcetc but yup I quite enjoyed the shoot ! Had lunch with inping after that but grr too bad I dont have our shots together ): Stayed back after that to watch agnes lim shoot and wow she really is a model machine lolol super scary

Left to meet lover and korkor dearie and bartender for steamboat buffet at holland v's crystal jade. YUMMMMMMMMMMMMM XIAOLONGBAO FREE FLOW. HOW AWESOME IS THAT. I gained alot of weight from the meal but I was happy anyway. So nice la omg and they have free flow ramen ! Their ramen is just as awesome :) :) :) I really liked the liver too ! Do try the corn and pork bone broth if youre there, its really really good. Hate their customer service though -.- But ok la just be fierce to them and they'll serve you your food and give you more attention. I'll definitely go back lor ! The xiaolongbao !!!!

Movie after that, the ghost comedy movie. Hahaha it was super funny, esp the ns one. I felt the second one pretty lame though. But nevertheless, what else can you expect from such shows teehee.

Suddenly wonder hows joker ! O:

Had photoshoot at merchant square AGAIN on thurs, this time with melissa ! Had a great time talking to her on our way home and everything, heh super nice girl ! Learnt quite abit as well, but wasnt really in the mood for a shoot that day for some reason hahahahaha but I love the photos ! :) Likey the effect!

Spent the past few days shopping for cny stuff with my family, from bugis to giant to taka... More to go tomorrow. Quite tired actually, gonna crash soon ( its 1.26am now as I am STILL typing this.. )

Next post will be on bintan ! :) Tatas for now ! :D
( I secretly hope my eye will stop being so prone to infection for no goddamn reason )

2011-01-28T15:18:00.007+08:00

I was on my way home after facial just now when I saw groups and groups of students participating in orientation games at tpy central. I dont know what school they're from but they looked like j1s to me, and it just reminded me of orientation days... With og especially, since the class ones werent especially interesting in the beginning. The way we were so hiong in games because we wanted to win, the bond we built across a short period of time, the feelings that overwhelmed us when it had to end, the meals we shared together, the cheers we screamed... Ah, those days. I miss orientation ): I miss 7a too... Sighhhh. Cant we remain young forever?

Actually, I still feel sixteen. I dont feel like Im waiting for my a levels results, or rather, I dont feel like Im gonna be twenty next year. I dont feel like a young adult. I feel as though Im stuck at sixteen, people two years younger than me still feels as though they're like fourteen, when nope, they are already sixteen ! D: Wa I think Im living in the past sia ): Everyone still seems so young, Im just so afraid to grow up. Sigh.

Anyway, just to clear some backlog ! Met lover for cycling last friday, at ecp teehee. Haven cycled in like three million years, ever since the previous class chalet when horrible things happened -.- I will never forget the tranny incident lol and the 101 disasters that came after. Suddenly, I miss you. But I'll touch on that later. Anyway, it was super shiok and fun riding on the bike again, blasting music, chit chatting away and enjoying the breeze at ecp with lover :D My speakers are damn imba seriously please go get an x-mini if you dont own one ;x

Basically all we did was camwhore there, take super chio photos ( wtf look at the beach photos and sunset photos ), chase the sun, reminiscise about things and yup, time just flew by like that. We went for bowling after that hahahaha what day of exercise ! Not too bad I guess, still stuck at 100odd points :/ But it was fun heh and I didnt get hand cramps after that cuz we only played one game ^^ I actually love bowling ! Except for the post-bowling hand cramps.

Bused down to geylang after that to look for our frog porridge hahaha and apparently for once, sinma has awesome service. Maybe cuz the people who served us were the nicer ones, lucky us ! Was super pleased and surprised about it heh :D Love the porridgeeeee its still the best frog porridge in singapore thus far ( CUZ I HAVEN TRIED ANY OTHERS LOLOL ) :D Nomnom. Was too busy eating we didnt even take photos ! Then to yong he after that for mian xian omgggggg I think I found the best mian xian in singapore ! Way better than shilin or whatever, it tastes 90% similar to the ah zong mian xian in ximendingggggggggg yumyummmmmm

Have you ever felt as though you are willing to do everything you can/cannot just to get something? But no matter how hard you try/dont try, you never seem to be able to reach it, though it seems to signal to you it wants to be reached.

Im feeling that now.

I miss my confidante, my love, my best friend.

2011-01-27T23:59:00.000+08:00

HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII omg I know I haven blogged for a long long time and theres just soooo much to update but at the same time, Im just so super duper uper lazy. I dont wanna just anyhow blog for the sake of it, so I'll break it up into bits and pieces hahaha hopefully I'll have all the backlogs cleared in abit ! Plus its nice to know there're people who wanna read my blog and requested me to post :P Teeheee :D

My first ever beach photoshoot on thursday, which was freaking awesome :D I love beach shoots ! Its like my kinda thing and cuz Im tall enough to wear maxis nicely, I seriously enjoy shooting in them ! Ahhhhhh there're so many chio photos but mike didnt upload them all, especially afew that I really really like, gonna get him to send them to me. Heh but overall I enjoyed my shoot alottt

We had dinner at chinatown after the shoot, at this place with super awesome xiaolongbao and some roti prata alike thing with meat inside. Awesome ! The noodle also not bad, plus its super duper cheap ahhhhhh worth going! But I forgot the name of the shop, :X Its near chinatown mrt though, afew shops down bee cheng hiang. Ohoh and lunch was jia xiang mian, HAHAHA the advertisement !!! But its not nice la lol, overrated. I mean its okay, but not worth the price at all and yup I'll never go back again ! Okay that sums it up teehee and I really like this photo !

Alrightyyyyy I am freaking sleepy now, actually I wanted to update a bit more but.. Ah cannot tahan already, need to sleep ): Still have friday's ecp with lover, saturday's bak kut teh with dearest, sunday's photoshoot and steamboat buffet, and monday-wed's bintan trip to blog about. SIGH SO MUCH ZOMGABCDEFG I need dilligence and time tsk

Facial tomorrow morning ahhhhh I hope its not gonna be painful sighxzxz Im definitely gonna cry !

Cny is coming so freaking quickly and soon but I haven prepared anything at all grrrrr totally doesnt feel like cny to me. Gonna start work soon after that and sigh, I dont know whether to look forward to it or to dread it lor.

And I feel too fat for cny. Can we postpone cny for just abit? :O I heard reading books with full concentration helps you lose weight. Maybe I should. HAHA.

Okay gotta crash ! Till tmrw :D

2011-01-19T15:30:00.000+08:00

Omg this is totally gonna be a hate post hahahaha I decided that I just needed to rant. Actually I needed to do this yesterday but then I was too tired and lazyyyyy

Like serious omg I feel like slapping your face. I feel so uncomfortable. I get goosebumps. I feel like running away. I feel like answering back in your face. I feel like exposing you.

I need to think of a codename for you. What should I call you? MUU?

I randomly thought of these, in the tune of you raise me up HAHAHA. The chorus !
You gross me out, so much I feel like puking ~ You gross me out, till I feel like slapping you ~ I am strong, so I'll bear with all your nonsense, until one dayyyyy I'll kick you to outer space

I am pissed srsly ok im gonna slp

2011-01-18T02:55:00.002+08:00

We live, we love, we learn. So how much of life is about living, how much is about loving, and how much is about learning? No youre wrong, Im not emo-ing or whatsoever, nothing close to that. I was just thinking about the issues people deal with, troubles people face. They're so repeated and duplicated I can totally predict what happened to people without them even telling me. Why is it like thatttttt do fairytales really only happen to 1 in 100 people? o.o

I have no idea why Im feeling so nostalgic about school. A year ago I'll probably be in bed now, dreading the next day of school, or maybe still trying to rush out homework at this hour. Today, I am so bored and have nothing to do, Ive been sleeping at 3-4am or even later every single day. I'll be honest, I dont miss lessons when Im struggling to keep my eyes wide open, but I do miss the preparation of food to pass around the class, I do miss trying to keep the people around me by pinching them or whatsoever, I do miss listening to the row of people behind me talk rubbish, I do miss doodling on clique's papers, I do miss laughing in the company of 25 other awesome people plus a cute teacher(whoever it may be at that particular period), I do miss copying lecture notes o.o I really miss school, miss the people, miss my friends, miss eating together, miss complaining about having nothing to eat....... I miss the class coming together, all 26 of us.

I miss 7a alot.
So much that... I cannot believe it myself.
:'(

I mean I knew I would miss the class, but I thought it'd just be the "oh I miss 7a, yup I do" thing. I didnt expect it to be the "I really really really miss 7a so much I dont mind turning back time to go through shitty lessons again" feeling. Sighhhhhhhhh these people just mean so much more to me than I thought they did, not that they didnt mean alot to me to begin with.

Days like these.

2011-01-17T15:14:00.002+08:00

I haven blogged for so many days ! Lol ! At the salon now dying my hair so I thought I could just make use of the time to clear all the backlog. To be honest, I dont remember what Ive been doing for the past week, nor why I didnt blog at all hahaha.

Spent tuesday going all the way down to alexandra to repair my phone, and wed had most-fucking-painful-in-my-life-facial followed by badminton hahahaha "thomas cup". I swear the facial is damn painful lor zzzzz. But I think its not bad though you prob have to be able to bear with the pain. Now that its post-facial, its all worth it. But during the process you just feel like crying -.- Damn intolerable sob. But v good leh now my face much better I feel, and its easier to makeup also cuz the skin quality has improved, allowing the powder and what not to be absorbed better. As they say, more "chi fen" ^^ A place I would recommend for facial I guess ! Better than bioskin and what not -.-

I spent thursday doing my hair and here I am at the salon again lolol. Feel quite bad actually, Im actually doing hair treatment for the second time cuz after dyeing must do again :X Wasted leh but no choice ): Anyway, met beloved pms on friday, after their school ! HAHAHA WHAT IS SCHOOL LOL. Ended up becoming the latest though, sigh I need to stop underestimating the time I need to prepare. Im getting slower and slower -_- Anyway I think we had alot of fun at clementi partyworld hahaha, concluded that partyworld is wayyyyy better than kbox yay but its soooo cold even with their thick thick jackets ):

Trained down to peg's sch to pick up the car and she drove us after that ! HAHAHA so excited leh first time putting our lives in her hands, I was the road director as usual, like I am when mummy drives. Heh. Wanted to go to a more unaccessible area since she was driving, so we went up to dempsey ! Tbh her skills not bad la hahahaha I wanna learn driving too ! ): But I wonder when sighhhhhhhhhhh maybe I should just go and sign up for btt first? Should I? D: But Im kinda scared of driving -_-

We settled for dinner at C.A, I have no idea whats the full name of the restaurant but its a western eating place just next to ben and jerry's. We were all donned in pink HAHAHA our pink date ! It was on purpose though lol ! I had this kids meal, zzz explains why my plate was so small compared to theirs ! It was just okay la, nothing special. Just a normal meal ! I wouldnt go back HAHA :s Grocery shopping after that hehehehe

We spent the night playing monopoly deal + munching on tidbits hahahaha. We only slept at 3am wtf and I had photoshoot the next morning at 8am, had to wake up at 6am to prepare breakfast for the two of them. LOL. Not bad leh I cook pretty well lor! Heehee. I think i have the potential to make breakfast for the class when we go to bintan LOLOLOL IM GONNA DO THAT. Anyway I had to leave by like 8 and thankyou peg dear for sending me all the way to chinese garden, sorry lover and peg I made you two wake up for breakfast sooo early )':

Wasnt in very good condition on saturday morning cuz of the last minute notice regarding the shoot, plus I was super tired and sleepy, make up also very cui D: I still suck at makeup anyway lol. I was just nervous and everything cuz it was my first shoot, scared lol. I still feel very restricted during the shoot, but ah whatever it was over and done with pretty quickly. I think I need to memorize poses -.-

Photographers are pretty funny, some of them. Like the caucasian guy hahaha. "Where else can I meet girls without my wife killing me?" LOL.

And yay from mike ! I think my hair is really giving him a huge problem :(

Another shoot on sunday at laselle. It was with this group of myanmarr ( is that how you spell it lol ) people and it was.. different. The poses they asked me to do were just more demanding than the cheongsam shoot, but ok la I had fun heh !

Yes ahhhh finally finish my blog post, I keep procrastinating. Days like these, sigh. Actually I had alot of thoughts to post about.. But Im not gonna alr. Shall keep them for tomorrow, gonna concentrate on my msn convos lol.

I miss 7a. Its a deep set feeling.

2011-01-11T03:28:00.006+08:00

It would have been the first day of school for all the jc people, plus some of the sec schs who got the privellege to start late, like hwachong, but I have neither school nor work. HAHA I dont know to feel blessed or feel useless. I still remember the times when I had to worry like mad on the first day of school cuz I was nowhere near completing my homework.. O:

I feel like blogging but... I dont know what to blog. LOL. This shall be a super duper uper random post with my favourite ramblings about anything and everything. Heh. :D Spent sunday watching inping and huiling's photoshoot at the railway tracks, I like that place! Besides for the ants and mosquitoes that kept attacking me -_- Followed by my own shoot in the afternoon, which I like soooooooo much cuz of the photos hahaha I like them sooooooo much !

Spent today with yijing jiejie heh it wasnt awkward like I thought it would be ! We talked about everything from makeup to food to blogshops, before heading to buy makeup together at taka :) I really really really like urban decay's eyeshadow palettes ! They are damn pretttttttty zomg too bad sephora doesnt have the festive season set anymore ): Really wanted to get them lor D: Damnxz. Nevertheless it was still fun learning makeup from yijing jiejie heh enjoyed myself today ! Hopefully my makeup skills will improve hahaha its damn cui as of now -.-

I wonder why I keep getting eye infection. Like seriously. Its like damn uncomfortable and itchy I promise after I recover from this, Im gonna take good care of my eyes. Okokokokok? Please let me recover dear eyes, its so uncomfortable -.- No contacts and I wont even feel like putting it on it hurts so freaking badly and I cant even touch it or whatsoever. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr ): Super regret sigh. You dont wanna know how irritable my eyes are.

Oh oh and I found out a random fact today. Tang hoon doesnt get disgested lor. Even after like 15hours. IT STILL DOESNT DIGEST. I can feel my lunch man wtf its already coming 4am now and I still feel my lunch D: Well in a way I think you can say its filling. HAHAHA

Im craving for sweet potato soup now nomnom. I feel really hungry and greedy altogether. Okay Im not hungry Im just greedy. Im craving for ma ma's steamed egg, nice ramen, ah lam ba chor mee... GRRRR I can eat almost anything ! This is bad Im gonna become fat. Ooh it rhymes. HAHA.

My mind's abit screwed at 3.42am. Yay.

Recently, Ive been giving people advice and opinions about what I think about stuff concerning relationships. To be honest, its always easier said than done. Things that I say to people, I feel it myself. Its just that I cant face up to what I tell them, so I dont tell myself the same thing. Even if I do, my subconscious fights back, fights back to make myself believe in what I want to. See, the strength of willpower! Our willpower is really scary, it fights back any thought we genuinely dont want. Its quite annoying though. Sometimes I really wanna do whats best, but I cant cos of my subconscious. Blame my subconscious.

Okay yay Im gonna sleep now I AM SO SLEEPY. I hope when I wake up tmrw, my beloved eyes will be okay already. The antibotics hurt so much when I drop them into my eye. Sigh. Goodnight ! ( Oh and I really really like this photo ! )

2011-01-08T02:25:00.003+08:00

Have been so occupied these days that I barely have the time to post... Ahhhhh gotta wake up in afew hours again lolxzxz no 8hours sleep.. Whats new? :O Have to clear some backlogs though, otherwise it'll just accumulate as I get busy again. But these few days have been... Fulfilling, awesome, and just great :) One of the best times of my life, so much so that things that shouldnt be in my mind have faded away :)

Spent wednesday out with superglue after not having seen her for like half a year. Grounding myself during a levels has made me realize I love my friends even more than I think I already do and that I really love spending time with them, even if it means having lunch, eating nonstop, and catching a movie together. Even train rides and bus rides together seem like a blissful thing. Yeppppp that pretty much sums up what we did for the day ! HAHA. Ramen at ajisen gourmet town at nex which I would recommend, the white miso ramen is not bad ! Much better than normal ajisen -.- The tourist was.. Unexpected, and we actually ate shilin+nan xiang xiaolongbao+macs ahhhhhhhh YOU SEE THATS WHY I PUT ON 2KG OVER THE PAST FEW DAYS....... ): Sigh stress. Anyway it was just a simple day as always but I enjoyed myself. TIMETABLE PLEASE SUPERGLUE !!!!!!

Rushed down to bukit panjang cc at night to join mike and the other photographers for a badminton session, got to know quite afew photographers as well as felicia.. Haven exercised for a long time but really sweat it out there, though nt much cuz we only played for awhile HAHA. Dinner after that with them, before I cabbed home for the umpteenth time this week. Ah I need to stop cabbing :/

Thursday morning was supposed to be photoshoot with mike but it was raining plus he woke up late so... It ended up becoming an afternoon shoot. But it was soooooooo fun and awesome and everything hahaha I enjoyed it so much ! Love all the shophouses and the effects and everything :) Think Im starting to get the hang of it, besides the fact that I still need his guidance as to what Im supposed to do and everything :/ But the photos are worth everything :)

Guangye came to fetch us after that and we went to imm to shop for food, after which we checked in at chevrons and spent the whole night barbecueing there. It was kinda awkward cuz Im new there, like 2-3 days only lolol though it feels like Ive known them for weeks at least o.o But at least they're all very nice people and make me feel pretty much at home and everything :)

And yup, today ! Lover came over about noon and we finished up peg's present, before rushing out cuz peg's lesson was cancelled last minute grrrrr but thank god we managed to make it slightly earlier. Not bad leh I prepare pretty fast lor ! HAHAHAHA went to suki-ya for dinner in celebration of peg's belated 19th birthday :D

Haven seen peg for a month ! The last time was before my holidays but ahh, the long period of holidays made time kinda shrink, like it doesnt feel that long since Ive last seen her lor. So much for 8 months to play, I wonder how much time there actually is left. Ugh nevermind. Anyway it was funnnnnnnnnnn HAHAHA WE ATE FOR FOUR GODDAMN HOURS ZOMG and we had monopoly deal games in between TEEHEEE

People come, people go, but people like this make you feel that risks are worth taking. You probably wont know which friends arent worth you investing your time in, but its always worth the risk cuz you may just meet people like these. People who will remain, even if you dont meet every week, or not even every month, or maybe not even every three months. I always believe there are times when people are closer, and times when people are not so close. The key is to hold on and believe that things will get better, put in effort and it just might. :) I love themmmmmm HEH SINGSING SESSION SOOOOOOON ( I dont wanna call it kbox anymore LOLOL ) + sleepover soon okokokok OK ! :D Ending off with our signature pose !!

I keep dreaming of someone though. I mean I really wonder how hes doing and everything, but prob enjoying himself more than anything else and ahhh, okay la Im happy for him in a way :) But then again, do I miss you? I really dont know. And dont really wanna think. Just that times like these, you pop up in my mind O:

Reminder to self: settle all bintan stuff tomorrow omg. Like, sms those I need to sms + book ferry tickets + call up the resort to arrange transport ! DAMN I KEEP PROCRASTINATING CANNOT DRAG ALR ): Its in two weeks !

OKAY I REALLY NEED TO SLEEP IM ALWAYS SLEEP DEPRIVED. Im gonna honour myself something, 8 hours of sleep everyday plus nomore magi till forever. Grrr Im getting dejavu for no reason. Alright nightyxzfasfhe ^^

2011-01-04T21:06:00.002+08:00

AHHHHHHHHHHHHH I AM SO HAPPYYYYYYY

Its just the beginning of 2011 but Im already beginning to live my dream. To me, this seems too quick to be true but I had my first photoshoot today ! I thought that it'd prob be a one time thing and god knows when's the next time Mike'll be free to shoot me again, but hey no its nothing like that ! Can tell hes trying to give me opportunities and pull me into the industry and all, heh cant wait for the shoot on thurs ! Only got two photos from him cuz hes not done with the rest and I dont think I look good but its k I'll keep learning! :D Im enjoying myself so much its so awesome hahahaha, learnt alot from mike during the shoot at chinese garden today :)

Met kristie love with elaine yesterday during their lunch break, and had a good chat over lunch, albeit short ! Have never been to uob centre during peak hour, the crowd is.. insane. -.- Scarily insane leh. Was quite amazed at my speed of rushing out to meet her cuz.. It was really last minute. LOL. Like the moment she suggested to meet for lunch I went to start preparing already. -_- Heh cant wait for our genting trip ! I haven asked mummy though I secretly hope she allows :/

Met lover after that at bugis, and went to get makeup ! Heh I thought we'd take very long but we were done really quickly -.- Within 5mins done already. I think dont even have five minutes lor LOL. Went to get all the other stuff we needed ( HAHAHA SECRET ), followed by soup and xiaolongbao at the food court. The soup looked good but tasted ... Kinda disappointing :/ The xiaolongbao was bad, please dont ever try it its from the banmien stall D: Lover came back home with my after that, played poker once with nigel's friends who were around as well, and yup slacked around and that pretty much ended the day. Thankyou lover for always keeping me company !

Ahhh very shag these days, gonna meet superglue tomorrow finally !!! Haven seen her for so long ): Alright off to slack ! I wanted to do something to my blog, like revamp it or something but.. Im lazy. LOL. Toodles !

2011-01-03T02:20:00.004+08:00

I totally forgot to blog about new year eve! HAHAHA and I have been procrastinating about adding the read more function to my remaining 811 posts.. Tomorrow la k. So lazy leh wth. Anyway before I forget what actually happened, this was how I spent my new year's eve :D ( Checkout the photo it spells HAPPY NEW YEAR 2010 HAHAHA )

I remember waking up early in the morning to do spring cleaning, lol ! I knowwwwwww, like wth spring cleaning on new year's eve! But I like leh lol the whole house so messy, I dont likeeeeeee. Cant wait to clean up the place and give it a revamp :D Headed towards aunt's place to pick up something and we stayed there till it was time to meet lover :) Met fifth aunt after forever hahaha and she made me happy, but I shall not share what she said :s Spent all the time there playing with rusky ! I think Im no longer scared of dogs leh, like 100%. Super proud of myself teehee. I miss junior, hes so much nicer to hug D: I wonder how's junior's owner doing far far away O:

Went on to wait for lover at northpoint while I checked out the place.. Ahhh I really wanna try mayim's someday ! I heard its really really good, my aunt recommended it but it was so crowded we decided to give it a miss, plus they dont serve dimsum after 5pm ): We settled for men-ichi ramen, and it was not bad leh ! Comparable to all the other ramen Ive tasted, I think its quite nice in fact :D Lover had the shoyu soup one, which I dont really like. Stuck to my tonkotsu ramen and nomnom it was nice ! The salmon skin was just so so, v different from sakae's though O: I'd go back again ! If there was no queue :X

We roamed around the place abit looking at tonnes and tonnes of food. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh so hungry you know got so much food there lor ! All my favourite O: Shilin, polar, ock.... ): Damnz but we still got shilin anyway. My favourite sausage with cheese egg crepe. Its like.... undescribably yummy. Heh. To die for ! Took a train down to marina cuz we were supposed to go to esplanade to watch the fireworks, only to realize that the place was closed for entry to marina bay platform only -.- We ended up roaming to this place on top of marina square, facing the platform O: It was a nice place leh but we were unprepared, didnt bring poncho/whatsoever so we couldnt sit on the grass cuz it was wet D:

We were outside suki-ya, where lover's friend worked at ! HAHAHA THEN YAYYYYYYY WE HAD SPECIAL TREATMENT LOL. They closed the place at about 1030, and they had a restricted area of seats outside, which wasnt opened to public. HEHE. Saw kah king and his friends try to come in lor HAHAHA but too bad the person in charge not my friend, so I couldnt keep them there. Anyway we were one day suki-ya employees hehehe we helped to take down afew xmas decorations, before going out to countdown in peace while everyone was crammed. DAMN GUAILAN LOL

The fireworks were gorgeous, they were so near to us ! I think its by far the prettiest fireworks Ive seen, the colours and patterns so cool laaaaaaaa hehehehe enjoyed watching the fireworks so much ! I hope we get tickets next year ! It seriously felt damn shiok not having to squeeze with everyone else LOLOL

We were like invited to their celebration after that, so we ate free sukiyaki hahaha. I love it zomgggggg Im going back soon ! After my photoshoot or something x= I like the soup so much zomg and the udon ! The chicken and pork not really to my liking though, very hard. The cheese ball I also dont like teehee. Didnt try the others but the udon plus soup is enough to make me happy. So yummy nomnom !!! Watched the employees get drunk one by one and.. It was epic I swear. LOL. DAMN EPIC. All of them were puking away and the poor "lao-da" had to wake all of them up one by one :S We had a hard time getting a cab home though, no cabs leh. Tried to stay awake until morning cuz lover was supposed to cook me breakfast !

Not bad leh she, her breakfast quite nice. Actually I realise whatever she cook for me damn easy leh, like no kick. LOL. Is I noob dno hw to cook scrambled egg. HAHAHA. But okay la so lovely leh, happy 3 years anniversary breakfast LOLOL

And yup we slept all the way till evening, woke up watch eat pray love and she went home. i was distracted though so I dno what the show showing. LOL !

Okay this is so narrative. I shall just stop here and sleep earlier. I need to get some beauty sleep ahhhhhhh this is killin me. :O Okay bai bai ! :D

2011-01-01T23:58:00.000+08:00

Last night I was at marina square, and when it was time for the countdown, I made 11 wishes cuz its year 2011 now :) I know I should be making resolutions instead of wishes, but some of them arent within my control and so I decided I might as well make 11 wishes instead. Lol !

Anyway, I believe there'll be major changes in my life again this year... I am dreading the release of a levels results, though the feeling isnt that strong yet cuz its still some time away.. I dont know how its gonna turn out but I hope uni will be a choice and the course I wanna go to will be within my grasp.

I believe Ive mentioned quite a number of times how badly I wanna go into modelling, and I'll be taking my first step pretty soon. Going for my first photoshoot in a couple of days and.. Im pretty scared cuz I know nothing about makeup and all these I have to learn myself ): Posing and all, is gonna be different from camwhoring. Sigh. I just hope it'll all go well Im really really scared ):

Gonna do a major makeover for the house pretty soon, need to pack up everything and start making trips down to ikea and whatever furniture shops there are ! Ahha this is something I really cant wait to get down to do.. Theres not much time though. Cny is in about a month AND I HAVEN BOUGHT MY CLOTHES ZOMG and and and Im going for a trip at the end of the month ! ( zomg and I haven bought the ferry tickets LOL ) TIME I NEED TIME ( Damn I thought I had alot of it )

And...... after cny, Im gonna go get myself a job and work for the first time in my life ! I dont know what working is to you but it seems kinda exciting to me, somehow. LOL !

The guys are gonna enlist in february, well most of them. Im gonna lose alot of company and ahhhhhhh I just gotta get used to it :/ On a side note I hope hes having fun now :)

Well I really dont know how 2011 is gonna turn out, but I have a good feeling about everything. :) I hope it'll only get better and that everyone around me, together with myself, will be blessed with happiness and health ! :) I dont know what else to hope for, but Im sure 2011 will be a blast. It will ! :) Yay to the first day of 2011 :D

2010-12-31T23:06:00.002+08:00

Well! We've come to the end of 2010 :) I was contemplating which stand to take, whether 2010 has been a good one or a bad one. So, I went back to check out all my previous end year posts and I found them all pretty hilarious. Year after year, I seem to have been pretty upset/displeased with my life and it was always like AH OK A NEW YEAR AND A NEW START. This year, I think its slightly different :) Thats a good thing I guess !

This year has been a truly amazing and fulfilling one for me, I would say. To be honest, I dont remember every single event that had a significant impact on me. All I remember's that everything that has happened this year is enough to make me feel happy about 2010 :) Its a different feeling this time round, something more nostalgic than glad that a new beginning is about to happen.

I changed alot this year I think ! In terms of looks, character, habits etcetc.. The most evident one would be my super successful weight loss HAHA. It really changed my life quite abit and I hope it will continue to. Im gonna take up modelling in abit :) Have decided already ! I know its not gonna be easy and I should be all prepared to face negative opinions and what not but.. I know this is really what I wanna do and Im just gonna go out and do what I want. Afterall, Im not gonna be young forever, am I? I think its time to take the risk now and Im glad mummy is pretty supportive of me :)

Friendships are never smooth sailing, but this year I think I can say I cant be greedy and ask for more. People come, people go, but at least I haven faced any major crisises in losing any of my closest friends, even though I had to balance school work at the same time. My loved ones are still with me and am I glad they are :) Not only that, 7a has also become part of my life and this whole lot of people makes a great difference cuz its like.. a big group. Ahhh I dont know I just know I have never been happier with all the company I can get :)

Pretty amazed that I survived through a levels pretty well. Even though the results arent out, Im quite sure I wont do too badly, though I dont think I will do as well as I did for o levels as well. Nevertheless, with the amount of struggle I was facing in year 1, I think this year was a big leap for me and Im glad I survived it. So much for half a year of self-grounding at home hahahaha. Im alive :)

I grew quite abit this year, from the stupid girl who wanted to play mia over a guy, to someone who could deal with feelings even though it took quite abit of effort. Maybe cuz I know we can stil be friends, even if things didnt work out. Or maybe cuz I didnt want things to turn ugly cuz you are way too important so I didnt blow things up no matter how horrible I felt. I dont know I just felt I could deal with things better this year and I have no idea how 2011 would be like, but nevertheless I will just be stronger. Next year when I am doing this again, I hope I can look back and conclude that I have grown up even more :)

And yup that about sums it all. 2010 has been an awesome year and I dont think I'll regret the taking place of anything that has happened. Amazing people, amazing things, amazing breakthroughs... I even managed to overcome my fear of dogs, completely. LOL. I know that is besides the point but ohwell ! Hahahaha.

This coming 2011, I hope... I wont say it out. Wishes are meant to be kept in my heart but in the meantime, I hope everyone will have an awesome 2011 ahead, especially those I love. Happy new year ! :)

2010-12-31T05:00:00.002+08:00

Im gonna finish updating what I wanna update for the year before 2011 ends, and then Im gonna do a 2011 post in a separate entry ! Not good to leave things across the year heh :)

Boxing day at waik's on sunday was awesome hehehe. I enjoyed myself so much ! It was just a simple day but maybe like what people say, its the company that count, not so much of where we go/what we do. Cannot describe my love for 7a leh. HEHE.

Went to waik's place in the morning first cuz santa girl aka me was carrying 8 goddamn bags of gifts+wiii -.- Thank god mummy sent me there otherwise I would die walking from the bus stop waik initially told me to alight at. Its insanely far I swear. Initially I was super afraid of his dog sob he had to block junior from attacking me before I could come in safely. But I was quite happy that it didnt like attack attack me, it simply licked me a little and occasionally came by me to attempt playing with me though I tried all ways I could to ignore it HAHA. It was only until the later part of the day that I started to fall in love with him :D I shall talk about that later. HAHA

Zhiyi came like 1 min after me and we went to beauty world's lan shop for l4d, qitian joined us thereafter :) Was quite lost throughout cuz stupid waik and zhiyi were just playing, never really guide us along cept when I started screaming ): Feel like going to play myself someday leh practise or something so wont be so cui when it comes to playing with them LOL. Macs for lunch after that before going back to waik's place to await the arrival of the class :)

Happy leh quite alot of people turned up lor. It is never easy to organize class activities so Im always happy whenever theres good attendance :) And I was especially glad nobody decide not to come at the last minute cuz we played secret santa and the withdrawal of a single person's participation would upset the whole game ): I got a praise shirt for zhiyi hehehehe I dont know if he likes it though but its quite 'him' :D

And my secret santa was waik ! Damn surprising cuz.. I dont know I just never expected it to be him lol. No wonder he didnt wanna talk about secret santa at all grrr. But yay okay la quite cool my close friend :) We ordered canadian pizza for dinner and chatted around the table while eating, quite enjoyed it leh heh heh :D

Besides that we just spent the whole day playing wii, ps3 and monop deal hahaha cuz of that I am now addicted to monop deal ! LOL. But cuz there were alot of people around so I just sat around and junior kept me company :) Actually I was very scared of him but ... I dont know. He just feels like family to me. Hes the only dog I would put my head next to or even voluntarily go touch ! HEH love how he listens to me when I ask for his hand or asks him to sit :) Come to think of it, I kinda miss him ): Sigh

Alot of them left after secret santa cuz it was already close to ten, while some of us played drinking games hehehe. Its the first time I played drinking games but it was soooooooo fun hahahaha I hated the waterfall and rule the most, keep kena -.- Towards the end I was quite pissed off by the rule thing I kinda just downed gulps instead of mouthfuls or sips. It ended off quite badly, those who played should know. Lol ! I got alcohol rash out of nowhere, like all over my body -.- It didnt feel itchy, just lots of spots :s The next moment I knew, I was sitting down in waik's kitchen crying lol

I still insist I wasnt drunk. Actually when I was crying, I knew why I was crying. Lol. It was a mixture of reasons but I knew what was the trigger point and what I was crying for after that. Some say people are the most truth-ful when not fully sober. If thats the case, it must be true. I even screamed his name in the middle of the night when I was home, while I was sleeping. Lol. Anyway zhiyi's dad sent me home and I must have embarassed myself pretty much, laughing in the car like crazy hahahaha and insisting that my fingers were bloated. LOL. Buttttttttt I had fun :)

Tuesday was volleyball farewell at sentosa. Had to literally drag myself out of bed zzzzzzz damn freaking sleepy. It was such a dread I swear but I glad it was fun heh. Siloso was pretty boring cuz the courts were removed and there were barricades everywhere in preparation for the countdown party, so we just spent some time there eating and playing taboo before heading for tanjong beach where there were volleyball courts :O

The journey to tanjong beach brought back tonnes and tonnes of memories. I remembered fac outing in april/may and everything related to that. Lol. Im supposing my blog readers dont know what Im referring to and wouldnt be interested to probe into it. Sigh. Anyway, we managed to find courts there but it was really ulu lol ! Played ball and all for abit before it started to drizzle for a long long time. But I like the drizzling weather ! Its always the case when Im there O:

We went to play in the water after that and everything heh love trying to drag people into the water since cheryl and I were already wet. Didnt play for very long though cuz the rain started getting slightly heavier and we had to wash up to meet the rest at vivo for our farewell dinner which the juniors treated us to :D Heh. It was steamboat at bei chuan spicy steamboat??? Isit? I cant remember the name D:

The food was just average I guess. I like the fish though Im quite sure I ate enough to make it worth HAHA. Everything else was salty though, I liked the mango pudding ! I think its quite worth it to go there considering theres student price, but if there isnt please dont go there it just... isnt worth paying for. Went to the deck to camwhore and wait for adeline to pass us our balloons after that, before we headed home ! Oh and I tried gongcha FINALLY HAHAHAHAHA GONGCHA BEATS ALL THE OTHER BUBBLE TEA IN SINGAPORE in my opinion hehehehe :D I like ! Too bad tpy dont have, must go until j8 or juiblee ):

Met lover on wednesday evening and we had ding tai fung for dinner. Yumzzzzzzz I love xiao long bao seriously. I shared 10 with lover at first, and in the end bought another 6 by myself HAHA. Shared a bowl of pork chop noodles but the portion was really really small, like maybe not even enough for one person ! But it was nice and the pork chop was lean :D My kinda thing so... nomnom we enjoyed our dinner ! Monopoly deal while having dinner and we kinda got addicted to it. Heh. Went to see jy for the last time ever and I hope he will be happy wherever he is right now. Rest in peace bendan :)

Macs and more monopoly deal after that, hahahaha lover and I are addicted already ! Had sizzler for lunch with nigel and aunt and mummy this afternoon and I got nigel addicted to monop deal as well. Lol! I loved the chicken soup with smoked chicken, added them myself and thats almost the only thing I ate there :O It was good though !

Alright I am gonna sleep now, my new year post shall be done after I wake up afew hours later. Its like 5.16am now and I haven confirmed with lover what time we're meeting later yet... Lol I guess she fell asleep or something. Ohwell I am damn sleep deprived so... sayonara BAIBAI

I actually feel sad that youre flying further and further away. Maybe its true, you only realize how important something is after youve lost it. In this case, the importance prob got emphasized, I realized it all along. :/ I miss you

I need to stop lying to myself. When I cried, those tears were real.

2010-12-27T23:12:00.006+08:00

/editted. I am fearful. Fearful of anything bad that could possibly happen. Fearful that I will have to go through something unpleasant. Fearful that close friends wont remain close. Fearful that the class will split up. Fearful that...

I was initially gonna blog about boxing day at waik's place yesterday but I decided that today was too bad a day to blog about happy things. Nothing today is happy. I feel fucking sad today. Today is just a fucking bad day.

First of all, bendan has passed away. I dont know what this means to you but a friend leaving forever is something... I never expected. Not at his age of 21. Not when he was healthy and bubbly and everything. Not when everything came so suddenly. Even if we're not close now and the last time I saw him is I-cant-remember-when, I still feel so sad when I think back upon the times we spent talking in maple, the times we went to fight bosses together, the times he lent me a ear when I had rship problems.. Memories are memories. Even when people drift apart, it remains a fact that Ive known him for more than 2, in fact close to 3 years.. I dont know why he was taken away, but fact is he was, and rest in peace bendan. I hope you are happy wherever you are right now... I'll remember you.

This makes me realize how fragile human life is... I mean its not like I never knew, but it just triggers this thought of mine at this point of time. I cannot imagine anyone I love leaving me. I cannot imagine anyone I know leaving me. I cannot imagine anyone I care about leaving me. But life is so unpredictable. Anything can happen. There needs to be no reason... And I cant do anything about it, even if I wanted to...

I know whatever Im gonna continue typing is nothing in significance as compared to life and death, but whenever I cry/am sad, this sadness just overwhelms me and I cry uncontrollably, for everything. I think of everything sad that makes me down. That explains why I cried last night at waik's place, if anyone was even wondering. I felt fucking uncomfortable + sick + pathetic last night when I felt like puking/ tipsy and everything, and that triggered my tears. I sat down in the kitchen and sobbed like there was no tomorrow, in front of the person that caused all my tears. But no one knows. Probably. If no one reads.

When I said goodbye at the door, I really felt so sad it was goodbye. In a way.

This morning, when I was half sober and feeling g0ddamn uncomfortable, I mumbled that name in my sleep. Somehow or another, I remembered. I was aware. And I wonder if its cuz youre of utmost importance right now..................... I dont know. But feeling I get is, you dont care.

I dont know whether you care and I dont wanna know. I dont wanna get a negative answer, nor hear anything I dont wanna hear. You know what? You feel like an ex boyfriend. In fact, you are etched deeper in my heart than my ex boyfriend. Maybe its cuz you were more real, maybe its cuz you touched my heart more directly, or maybe its cuz I spent more times with you/more memorable times with you. Or maybe its cuz you really made me believe. I dont know, but does it matter? I dont want to forget I DONT KNOWWWWWWWW

I just wanna cry and hope it makes all my dreams come true.... Hahahahahaha ya right.
I hate today. ):

2010-12-26T04:05:00.004+08:00

HELLO EVERYBODY MERRY CHRISTMAS !!!! Okay christmas is actually over but.. whatever la LOL Happy belated christmas + Happy boxing day !!! :D I dont know how everyone spent their christmas but even though I didnt really party, I enjoyed myself so much so much :) Did you? :)

Spent my afternoon with dearest and Im so glad we're finally able to go out regularly again after a good half a year.. Actually sometimes Im quite amazed by myself, like I was able to totally stop going out for half a year since july 13 or some date around that time... Its been a solid 5+ months since I met dearest ): But then I still feel as close to her as ever lol doesnt really feel like such a long time, somehow ! Heh. She got me a g string + earrings for xmas wtf LOLOLOL my first g string but I swear I laughed at it when I saw HAHA really tio shock -_- The rest of the time was spent chitchatting while walking or sitting down at swensens or travelling on the train.. Basically we spent our day talking :X It may be simple/nothing to you but its just awesome to me hehehe

Met lover at nex at night hahahaha SO MANY AHBENGS WTF SCARED YOU KNOW :O Omg we walked around in nex and I can conclude that its the most awesome shopping centre in singapore ! Theres like SO MUCH FOOD ZZZZZZZ EVERYTHING I LIKE ! Crystal jade + pu tien + dian xiao er + ding tai fung + shi lin + polar + so much more I suddenly cant remember everything ! But theres like a super wide variety of choice wth and we found nice xiaolongbaos thats awesome for its price :) Me likes that place v much ! And a shop called aries with super cheap rings + earrings + all those pretty stuff I almost went crazy !

We took a train down to clarke quay and yup basically sat by the river by dining in a restaurant called octapas. Dont like their service + food but wtv we just wanted to sit there and experience the atmosphere cuz the pubs were soo freaking crowded and noisy and the clubs were just as bad. Heh we camwhored by the river and counted down to christmas with all the other people ! Simple but fun heh better then xmas last year spent at orchard... ahem lova. LOL. You know I know hehehe glad this year's a happy one :)

We left on foot to walk to orchard from clarke quay after that... It was insane I swear. I was so annoyed by walking that I wanted to kill people hahaha. Thank god I brought slippers to change into otherwise I would die in my heels. Somemore that heels not friendly one, damn steep. On the way we met people who sprayed us from inside the car, and another group who chased us with a spray, making us run two streets down orchard road to protect ourselves wtf LOL but it was fun ! Partyworld from 2am-6am and Ive concluded that it is way better than kbox :) I never knew they had leg massagers ! And their controllers damn easy to use and the place soooooooo big and so clean and everything and they had an xmas goodie bag ! HAHA I am quittin kbox !!!! :D Macs for breakfast before taking the train home with lover, met weird tikopek on the way home and that sums up my xmas ! I had funnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

Alrightttttttttty I gotta go slp now cuz its 4.26am and I gotta be at waik's at 11.30am to put down my stuff LOL. Santa girl's gonna be carrying 8 plastic bags tmrw so theres no way I can lug all that to beauty world. Thank god mummy's sending me to his place hehehehe speaking of which she can send us to beauty world lor ! Damn didnt cross my mind ! Cant wait for tmrw Im sure it'll be awesome too ! I hope I dont get drunk lolxzxz OKAY BAI HAPPY BOXING DAY !

2010-12-24T03:33:00.004+08:00

Im so bored now my body clock is pretty screwed ! Im not sleeping simply cuz it feels as though I shouldnt be sleeping so early, even though Im pretty tired already. But then again I shouldnt be sleeping so early cuz Im gonna ton through the night with lover hehehehehe gonna have our special way of counting down to christmas !!! :D

I spent today going down to chinatown to supposedly book our bintan trip with the tour agency but ended up we were quoted a price way higher than what we originally were given... So ended up travelling down to dhoby ghaut to use com at jcube just to check the prices only, which was proven to be cheaper. Booked it awhile ago using mummy's credit card so those who has promised to commit, YOU ARE IN. Dont give me 300 excuses or whatever, I mean you can choose not to come eventually but ya please pay :) You committed so this is your basic responsibility.

We spent the rest of the time at town trying to find presents for whoever we needed to buy presents for. Mine was tough I swear I spent quite abit lor ): But its k its a considerably good friend Im buying for ! :) And I bought xmas hats for everyone who's attending on sunday ! Cant wait heh. Its two loads of my mind now, xmas gathering half settled, yet to msg everyone the final details though but its more or less confirmed, phone charging lazy to go check what waik replied ! Bintan trip also booked, left with ferry tickets and Im pretty excited HAHA. I hope my friend doesnt come then... Its exactly a month away wtf. Im prob gonna do something about it even if it comes with side effects. We'll see !

I was supposed to blog about the sentosa trip we had post a levels but you know what, its been close to a month since that took place! Wtf it has been less than a month leh, it felt as though the sentosa trip took place like 3 months ago -.- Seems like its been ages lor. Actually I cant remember anything already leh LOL. Only can remember bits and pieces so I'll just do short short recollections of everything I shall attempt to remember..

It wasnt easy to organize the post a levels celebration as usual, like it is never easy to organize ANYTHING that involves more than say, 4 people. Damn sian one leh seriously but I will never stop trying cuz I wanna keep everyone closely knitted together, like I always say. Hm. It was really mega ultra tough cuz people were sian, sick of the sun, annoyed and everything but slowly as the sun went away things got better I guess heh !

Just to make them happy, I let them bury me leh. Wtf I NEVER let anyone bury me one lor ! It was definitely my first time being buried under the sand but aiya it was quite comfortable actually LOL albeit it being abit disgusting... I was wearing white shorts somemore, totally turned dno what colour after everything. But it was just warm and it felt pretty nice HAHA. There you see them digging my grave for me to jump into it. Literally.

Went to the other side of the island and while attempting to climb onto the rocks WITH HELP my toe scraped against the rocks and it bled ): I still remember that eeeky painful feeling. It wasnt like ohmygod so painful, but it was that eeeeeeeeeeeeeeew why like that ): feeling. HAHA I BET IM NOT MAKING SENSE but what do you expect, its already 5.34am now ! :O Ah grrrr thank god I had zhee the saviour who ran back to the other side of the island to take plaster for me heehee

I thought it was pretty fun overall as we got to bury joseph and dillon as well. Played ball and some of them stayed under the shade to play bridge and taboo and what not. Heh glad I brought all the games ! Ahh now that Im looking at all these photos, I broke the sunglasses I was wearing then ): Broke it in my bag when I was in hongkong sobssssssss nomore matching sunglasses with lover ! ):

Watched rapunzel after that, afew of us ! Its my type of show, the fairytale-ish type. Heh. There were awesome and true phrases from the movie that I copied hahaha. I enjoyed the movie so much so much ! I totally dont mind watching it again ! And and I remember bumping into superman and his classmates LOL damn cool they were just a row in front of us o.o Suddenly miss provenance bread leh omg

And yup that pretty much sums up everything ! I cant really recall already but since pictures speak a thousand words, everything is on facebook. Those are the bestest memories seriously :) Im looking forward to the bintan trip so muchhhhhhhhhhh even though its just a small proportion of the class. Basically anything that involves any part of the class gets me really happy and excited. I dont know, I still feel attached to the class, even if its just me who feels that. I wonder if anyone else feels that way o.o

I just contacted someone on facebook and ah, I dont knowwwww. Now that all my trips are over and I am supposed to organize my life before uni starts ( if everything even goes smoothly lol ) I feel kinda confused. Things that Ive always wanted to do... Im starting to feel doubtful. Actually, I dont know if I can make it, dont know if Im good enough. Yeah people would say give it a shot, but I'd say... I dont know. I'll try I guess, see how it goes !

Theres just so much I want to do right now, besides just play my life away. I wanna learn driving but mummy isnt gonna sponsor me cuz she doesnt approve of me learning driving in the first place. I wanna teach pianoooooo ugh but I dont know how to go about doing it ! UGH

What if its not like everything I dreamt it would be?

2010-12-23T03:36:00.004+08:00

Its 3.36am in the middle of the night but I cant fall asleep. Gonna meet mina in approximately 12.5hours time and Im still wide awake O: Actually I do feel a tinge bit of sleepiness but theres just so much going on in my mind and everything I cant fall asleep. Plus it feels kinda weird not sleeping in a hotel after magi mee/congee for supper. Or maybe its cuz I woke up at 4pm HAHAHA. Okay whatever it is I decided not to waste time and finish up my hongkong post even though this is a considerably unearthly hour to blog.

Day 3. We slept pretty late the previous night I remember, thus we woke up pretty late too, which was a good thing cuz I got to shop online the next morning HAHA. Cant wait for my parcels to arrive ! Okay I need to stop digressing actually. Daddy made a reservation at our hotel's restaurant that received two michelin stars, which is supposedly a great achievement. I have no idea what michelin stars represent though but its supposed to be super difficult to even get one michelin star o.o Had dimsum for breakfast at the restaurant in our hotel and... It was seriously pretty normal. I dont think whatever we ate was worth the price we paid, nor would I expect the restaurant to be awarded some star thing by any gourmet or whatever. Even xing fu yin cha serves better dimsum lol I would never go there again o.o

We then headed towards lantau island. Wa it was a damn far journey, the train ride was insanely long and we had to take a cable car up. The queue was insane as well but we went for the glass bottom cable car cabin though it cost more. I like the cable car experience cuz of the glass bottom ! But besides that theres really nothing special and the cable car took far too long to travel, mummy and daddy actually fell asleep LOL. Hate the queue too ! If you ask me, its only worth taking if theres no queue :)

The place was... really boring lol. Its just like what we see in hk shows, or maybe even more boring. LOL-.- I saw nothing but statues of those deities or whatever, and of course I saw the huge buddha which I was too lazy to climb up to reach to. I would never go back to lantau island again zzzzzzzz it was really really really x1000 boringgggggg nothing to do one ! And the travelling takes such a long time by the time we managed to leave the place, it was 5pm already ):

We then took a train down to tsuen wan cuz mummy's colleague said theres alot to shop there. When we first got there all we saw were food stalls and restaurants and all zzz. We went for dinner and red ant and it was pretty good ! Ate soft shell crab for the first time in my life and we had a second serving ! The cod fish baked rice was awesome too :) Kinda miss it leh. Hahaha we had chocolate cake for dessert but it was too bitter for my liking. Mummy loved it though hahaha. Not bad I would go back to red ant for food anytime :D

Shopped around the place and found an area with cheap accessories similar to what I found in taiwan ! But besides that nothing much leh. Stupid winter season. We went back to the hotel after that though, changed out of jeans and went out with mummy to the hello kitty fair at our hotel and took pictures heh heh, before going to buy our daily congee supper :D Ohya we bought an octopus toy for apple ( which is a toy ) there HAHAHAHA they look alike ! :D

Ocean park the next morning ! We chose ocean park over disneyland cuz ocean park is always seen in the hk shows we watch, plus we've gone to japan's disneyland before and we didnt enjoy it at all. Hongkong's even smaller ! We took a train down before catching the shuttle bus and the whole journey was pretty quick, albeit having to travel a long long time on the road before finally reaching ocean park. :D We had nonsense for breakfast, got egg tarts at maxim's before heading off. Nomnom I like their egg tarts, we bought alot back !

The place was really huge and cuz we got there pretty early, it wasnt crowded ! Took two roller coasters but only one was fun.. Mine train was fun but the dragon wasnt ! Eagle is a puke inducing ride please dont play it. No kick plus puke inducing eew. Daddy and nigel were damn addicted to the games that could win me toys and they spent a hell lot of money there. But glad they had fun and I brought so many soft toys back home I have no idea what to do with it hahaha. The flying swing was puke inducing too -.-

We had golden fried chicken for lunch and it was awesomeeeeee :D Please go try it if youre there ! We went to the sturgeon aquarium and ocean paradise to look at aquatic animals, before taking the cable car to the other part of ocean park... Zzz no idea it was so far -.- We went to look at the pandas there hahahaha an an and jiajia LOL. Like my brother and I ! But they were quite piggish they just kept sleeping and eating -_- That part of ocean park was pretty boring, like for kids one so the only thing we did there was eat bbq squid ( nomnom so yummy ) and look at the pandas :D Took the underwater train back to the main part of ocean park after that ! Much much faster like 10 times !

We went to watch the dolphin and seal show after that, omg please go and watch if youre there. The dolphins and seals are so smart and cute hahahaha and one seal was stubborn ! We wanted to play the flash after that but cuz it was on maintenance we gave it a miss. Seemed kinda scarily dangerous as well. We left after that and shopped at admiralty while trying to pass time, found yummy eggtarts at two bakeries facing each other at the entrance of the building opposite admiralty. Went to daddy's friend's yacht club after that at causeway bay :)The food there was quite nice lehhhhhh omg I like the claypot rice v v v v much ! Went to shop at wan chai after that before heading back to the hotel, and going for dessert at one of the shops near our hotel, as well as dessert after that. It was not bad but I forgot the name of the shop=x

Had to check out the next morning so we didnt go very far, went to the cafe nearby our restaurant and they served really really really really x1000 good food ! Im going back the next time round hahahaha. Went to buy stuff at aji ichiban after that, then went back to the hotel to check out, before taking the mrt for the last time ever :)

Went to temple street to search for mido cafe cuz I read somewhere that they have awesome bo lo bao but I feel their bolao bao was just okay. They serve super nice squid and soup though ! But their main courses they introduced were like really really weird and tasted quite jialat -.- Besides that you should go try their squid ! We left after that though, had to go back to the hotel.

Wanted to go back to the cafe to buy bolo bao back to singapore but they were out of it, so we visited this other cafe opposite our restaurant. Omg their soup damn awesome zzzzz I cant stand it I wouldve gone there everyday if we tried it earlier ! And their bolo bao nice too !!!! Grrrrrrr cant remember the name but its opposite langham place hotel.

Back to sg after that ! Overall I felt there was nothing to buy cuz of the winter season and yup besides that the food was not bad though many of them were experimental places so not all that awesome. I would go back one day for sure ! :D

Im quite annoyed at somebody. Seriously. Like wtf is wrong with you every part of you spells cheapskate cheapo and disgusting. I HATE CHIU.

And you. Fuck sia what you take me for hur? Come and go come and go. And you know whats the crux of it all. I DONT EVEN NEED YOU HERE IN THE FIRST PLACE. Its like you keep coming to disturb me and when you dont need to disturb me already, you will just go away. WTF. Its not like I care or that it affects me. I dont give a shit. I just dont like to feel used you fucker.

AND YOU IMMATURE BRAT WHATS YOUR PROB. Dno hw to think?

At the end of the day, attached people are 50% stupid. They lose their minds over love. I swear IF I am attached I WILL NEVER TREAT MY FRIENDS/FAMILY LIKE THIS. IDIOTS.

2010-12-22T19:46:00.002+08:00

All the trips are finally over, Im back from hongkong and its time to reorganize life again. Everything is back to how it was before, except that I am school-less and work-less hahahahaha but yeahhhh besides having to plan for the next class trip to bintan, I guess everything else is gonna be slow paced and easy for now. Not gonna work until after cny I think :D Lazy to look for job leh.

Okay before I accumulate even more backlogs, I shall attempt to blog about this hongkong post. However bewareeeeeee cuz this post is gonna be image heavy + content heavy lol. Since the purpose is to keep a record of where we went to and the musts and mustnts the next time we visit hongkong again, which Im quite sure we will. I'll bold the crux of each paragraph though so it'll be more reader friendly.

Alright so we went on a 5 days 4 nights free and easy trip to hongkong. Took the united airlines flight which was a really bad experience. Firstly its really really early, the flight was at at 6am so we had to reach there at like 4am-.- And cuz UA flights are especially strict, we had to go through checks that made us feel like we were terrorists or something? Like come on being strict doesnt mean treating your passengers in a hostile manner. Super annoying, and breakfast was like really bad. I mean compared to cathay pacific that has like awesome food, this is some shit-ass experience. The food was cold and hard and packaged before hand, as though we're fugitives or something. Dont like. So in conclusion, cathay pacific is better than UA and just dont take UA flights.

Took a bus to our hotel- langham place. It was a long ride though, cuz we booked with an agency instead of getting tickets and booking the hotel ourselves. Dropped everyone off at their respective hotels and we were the second last to get off. But okay la it was just time for a little catch up of sleep. Daddy met us at the hotel slightly after we arrived cuz he took a cab there directly after he landed later than us, from beijing or something. Langham place is an awesome hotel hahaha Im sure we'll stay there again the next time we visit hongkong :D

The staff were super duper polite and everything, patient and aiya, just awesomeeee. We got a high 21st floor room and whooo the view was just super great. I didnt post every photo here cuz we took about 400+ photos but yeah you can view my photos on facebook. Cant remember if they're opened to public though O: The room was pleasant enough and super comfortable hahaha. We got connecting rooms so we opened the door to link the two rooms together. My favourite part is the peeping toilet HAHAHA LOOK AT THIS MAN. So cool please THIS IS A HOTEL. NOT THE SHITTY ONE WE STAYED IN TAIWAN :) Take that hwachong.

We signed on the half a day tour with the agency cuz the attractions were kinda interesting and we knew we would visit those places, so might as well just sign up with them. Nua-ed in the hotel after buying bubble tea from come buy and lotsa snacks and drinks from 7-11, prepared before leaving to meet the tour guide that came to pick us up. One bad thing about the hotel was that there was no free wifi ): Have to pay 120hkd for each 24hour period for each comp if we wanted to use wifi, which daddy did eventually. But to me its like how can a hotel have no free wifi? :( Even the shitass hotel at taiwan had D:

Alright so we headed on to avenue of stars first. I like the short tour guide-led trip ! Hahaha cuz there were only 2 families that signed up, we were given lots of attention hahahaha and dont have to wait for other families to reach etcetc, waste alot of time. Avenue of stars was just.. another place. Dont find it anything interesting cuz basically it was just about looking at handprints of certain famous people on the ground. Morever, I dont know half the people that were featured there LOL. If you ask me, avenue of stars is great to visit for scenery. Nothing interesting bout the handprints.

Moved on to some roast goose restaurant for the supposedly famous roast goose in hongkong. It was only until day 4 that daddy's friend told us the famous thing in hongkong is not really the roast goose, but the braised goose. Not sure ifi its really called braised goose but its called lu shui ya in chinese. :O We didnt get to eat that eventually though, cuz we only knew it on day 4 ):

In any case, the food at the restaurant we went to was just okay. I have no recollection of the name of the restaurant nor where its situated cuz it was just day 1 and I was in this blur mood hahaha didnt take note of where we were at. The food was just normal actually. Very singaporean lol. Got the usual sweet and sour pork and stuff and if you ask me, I wouldnt go back again.

Ahh but thats the thing about following tour agencies. The food wouldnt be too bad, but it wouldnt be too good either. Its like you pay for what you get. But if you ask me I'd prefer to take the risk and experiment with trying new food as compared to getting average food while following tour groups.

After dinner the coach drove us up to the peak. The weather that day was crazily insane-ly cold... We visited the was museum first, which I think was really cool ! To be honest not all of the wax figures look alike to the real people but some of them look really alike ! Quite cool how they have a wax figurine of mm lee though O:

Overall I think its still worth taking a walk there at the wax musuem, all the figurines are pretty cool ! Didnt see a few I think, I think we somehow or another, missed the jay chou and Bae yong jun figurine. Ah but nevermind not like Im interested in them or something :S But yaoming's figurine was cool cuz he damn tall HAHAHA I look damn small next to him !

Went to the peak after that, it was freezing cold ): Really hate that weather leh so super untolerable. Like 100 times worse than taiwan's weather zzz. The scenery was nice though, my camera cant capture cuz its not dslr ): We bought a photo there but I have yet to find it yet hahaha its somewhere lying around in the luggage I think. But Im not too sure how people find the peak super beautiful cuz.. Albeit the nice scenery you see the same thing throughout the entire time there. Lol ! Went back to the hotel after that and just nice our hotel was behind ladies street and all so we shopped there till we saw the shops were closing. I dont like shopping there cuz the things being sold are just super repeated and everything and most of them are quite ugly+aunty and stuff. Grr nothing like what I expected

Day 2 morning started off with us trying to find a restaurant czlled tsui wah cha can ting. We heard quite alot about it so expected it to be really good, its near our hotel but then we took some time to find it, even had to find help from the policeman. LOL. The bolo bao was just okay, nothing fantastic. Wanton mee was nothing compared to singapore's, ham macaroni's a new kinda thing you cant find in singapore but it tasted pretty normal. Theres this special noodle thingy that I found quite nice, some pork cartilage noodle soup. It was quite nice ! But overall breakfast was just normal, not niceeee

Cabbed down to tsimshatsui ( zzzz dno how to spell stupid canto ) cuz there was supposedly alot to shop there -.- But in the end all we saw were buildings and buildings of branded goods -.- If Im not interested in shopping, I guess no one in the family is. I dont go for branded goods so it was a pretty boring experience there, we just paced up and down and moved along buildings and buildings.

Ended up going to the industrial building place that juncen told me has alot of things to shop... The place is really insane. Something like bangkok's platinum plaza but with narrower substreets and all. Lol. But cuz it was the winter season there wasnt much to look at cept winter stuff that I wasnt interested in. We left in abit and decided to cab down to the canton restaurant that xiao shu shu told us has awesome dimsum O: Siao the cabfare like 30+ sgd-.-

We got a "pleasant" surprise when they told us that they were closing already, no more dimsum -_- It was about 230 then zzzzzzzzz damn super duper unlucky. Plus we spent so much on the cabfare ! So mummy was quite adamant about eating the dimsum there, thus we shopped around the area until it was dinner time. The time was quite hard to waste cuz we couldnt find anything to do there, nothing much to shop also O: Lunch was at kay kay restaurant or something along that line, we had magi noodles and roasted pork rice LOL. Nothing special as well O:

By right there's this super huge street we couldve shopped at but we didnt see it at all, till we went back there again on day4 -.- I have no idea why seriously. We were so bored that we kept buying the egg ball thingy hahahaha my favourite thing at hongkong for afew days ! Quite sick of it now though. We even went to macdonalds to waste time and leech free wifi for 20mins each -.-Time was seriously hard to pass and we were so bored and restless.- At about 5+ we went back to the restaurant, in hope to get to try their dimsum but we were told that they dont serve dimsum at night -___________________- So at the end of the day after so much effort, we still didnt get to eat the dimsum ! ZZZ was seriously annoyed so we headed for a wanton mee stall that smelt super good and had good critics on newspapers outside the stall.

It had by far the worst wanton mee I have ever ever ever eaten in my life. I puked after that cuz the noodles were so hard to digest and it was just gross I swear. It was like eating string/thread. Couldnt even bite it or something. ZZZ. Hated it really badly. I cant remember the name of the shop but its somewhere near wan chai mrt station.

Took a train down to temple street after that and this is exactly why I hate taking trains in hongkong. I swear I felt like dying. ZZZZ got phobia of trains after that -.- Nothing much at temple street also. I really hate going to shopping places that sell winter clothings during the winter season... Super annoying there is NOTHING to buy at all ):

We went to buy a cake to surprise daddy after that hahaha. Super belated birthday celebration but better late than never ! :) Couldnt help it cuz he was in china then.. But well at least there was a cake, a candle and a knife? :) We found super good congee that night and we had that for supper everyday subsequently. LOL. Dont know the name as well but its across the road from langham place hotel. If you stay at that hotel please go and try the congee there, its next to the 7-11. Its so good that you wanna eat it for every meal O:

I think I cannot continue blogging leh. 3 more days to go, I blog tomorrow kay. So sian keep having to think of what happened and everything. I will never finish at this rate. Got lots of things to unpack and think about.. And there is an urgent need to charge my phone and contact everyone I gotta.

The year is coming to an end... I dont know what to say except that its been so fast.. No plans for christmas this year yet.. What shall we do lover? Club? LOL. We've yet to go after talking about it for so long hmz. But I dont know... Ahhh shall see.

Still have to burn the cds for the class, haven give them their grad letter + video that I prepared though Ive already uploaded them onto facebook. Need to go down to check the bintan villa thing with mina as well. Ah and no xmas presents this year, I can at most bake cookies only. So much to do and I just got back ):

And I still have yet to meet superglue + noobhead noob... And dimsum with the rest and ahhhhhhh so much more ! ): Gotta arrange photoshoot thing + so much more...

Alright I really need to go do all my other things. I'll post again once Im free !

You keep running through my mind I dont know how to hide even if I wanted to. Im getting more confused regarding what you are to me. :/ Are you just important, or are you something more than that?

2010-12-16T18:59:00.003+08:00

Wed 3pm ; Im doing this post on the aeroplane on the way back to Singapore ! Everyone around me's sleeping right now so I thought I'd type this post beforehand just so that I can catch up on some sleep time and personal time when I get back home. Watching inception right now hahaha I enjoy these two flights so muchhhhhhh! The aeroplanes are kinda huge so theres lotsa space and the one we were on just now even had games HEHEHEHE played multiplayer mah-jong with melvin juncen and aina hahaha. Super fun and funny but melvin and juncen no morals keep looking at my cards cuz they were sitting on my left and right respectively zzz. Esp melvin so much for morals tsktsk.

Sunday which is day-I-cant-remember-the-number; Went to some stupid dragon head and tiger head place and it was so boring but we were given so much time, same goes for dream mall where there was barely anything to shop and we were given close to 4 hours. Not that I wanna complain but is it really logical to allocate 4 hours for malls and only 2 hours for night markets? Oh right, I forgot, we look so rich manz ^^

The last destination was absolutely crappy and we had to rush up this slope just to catch the sunset which was nothing fascinating at all. And yup we actually have to pay for the tour guide for these 3places we visited when they did nothing at all. LOL. I don’t even wanna get started on lunch man, I only can say hc is damn cheapo. 1 table also wanna save lol and its not like we paid super little -.- Its damn expensive for the kinda treatment and hotel we get and bahhhh there is ZERO organization. So much for hc.

Monday; Travelled back to Taipei and visited the same school we did on the very first day, watched the rest train but I spent most of the time waking around and exploring the school with grace cuz it was so boring. Bah I think I will miss milk tea ! Somehow. Though Im pretty much sick of it lolol. Was super excited when we found koi in gao shiong HAHA.

Ximending at night and it was really really really x10000 boring cuz theres nothing much to shop, everything so expensive onexzxz. It was only until the last half hour or hour, that we found the shop we missed out at dream mall the other day ! Was so jealous when everyone had cute chocolates and stuff but we don’t have cuz we didn’t see that shop, but got super duper excited when we actually found the same shop at ximending ! I totally lost myself though, bought so much chocolates for I-dont-know-what but I was really really happy hahaha. Imagine chocolates designed to look like condoms LOLOL, or biagra sweets, or marshmallow sanitary pads. HAHA. Luv that place goddamnit wheeeee. And we had ah zong mian xian which was awesomeeeee Im gonna source for nice mian xian in Singapore !!!! Or maybe hk? Does hk have it? D:

Tuesday; Was supposed to go to jiu fen in the morning but cuz of "bad weather" ( ya right that is totally the reason why we should not be going to jiu fen afterall ) we didn’t go eventually and instead spent the whole morning walking around the marketplaces and bookstores and 7-11s around our hotel. It was still fun though, though I still freaking cant understand why they didn’t bring us to jiu fen afterall. ITS SO ANNOYING IM GONNA DIEEEEEE. Oh but we were brought to this place... I cant remember the name. Hahaha quite like the place though the wind was just blowing blowing blowing away ~

Had friendly at nanhu high school after that and it was a much-easier-than-expected game. Nana and I ran out though woooooops HAHA super excited and happy whee !!! THIS is what we were promised, mind you. All that crap about allowing us to explore around the nearby areas of the school while the rest was training. They have nice bo lo bao though ahhhhhhh I am gonna search for nice ones in hk !!! The school treated us to good dinner after that and it was a really heavy meal :'( FAT ALR UGH. Went to shi da night market after that but it was boring as well, everything so wooly and boring !!! And aina was so addicted to buying accessories we literally had to drag her away from the store-.-

And yup that about sums the entire trip ! I'll definitely regret not getting to go to jiu fen ): I got to eat the sausage thing, authentic xxl fried chicken, lots of hot dogs, tried corn dog for the first time ever and falling in love with it, and drank so many cups of milk tea that I think I put on 5kg. Cant be too sure about it but I don’t dare to weigh myself on the weighing machine when I get home later ): That aside, it was pretty much an okay trip besides all the rubbish management we had to endure with. I wouldn’t go if I had a chance to choose again lol. Unless the management changes. -_- The pe department is like.......

Now that Im gonna be back in Singapore in about two hours, Im gonna have to spend my 1.5days to plan the bintan trip and finalize the details, as well as organize the Christmas dinner thingy at waik's place. One day more and I'll be off to hongkong. LOL. Cant wait though. I just hope the weighing machine doesn’t give me a shock ):

Edit/ Thurs 6.15pm
OMG I GAINED THREE GODDAMN KG GRRRR. I really feel fat cuz I feel my thighs expanded and my waist became wider and my jeans are tighter !!! Sigh all my evil friends still want me to put on more weight when I go hongkong :'( Sobbbbbbbbb but anyway I thought I'd post some pics from the trip :) Dont have everything cuz I hardly used my cam, alot of them with aina/cass/steph/grace so I'll just make do with whatever I have now !

Last thurs- Vball+ Taipei 101 the most boring place on earth with nothing more than Christmas trees :O We saw de beers though HAHAHAHA ECONS !!! Monopoly of diamonds LOL.

Friday- dan shui + shilin after a whole day of watching each team compete :O Saw the ice cream thingy that I dropped while trying to take a photo with many years back LOLOL. Wish we had more time though -_-

Saturday- Liuhe night market "near" our hotel and mass cursing and venting session followed by webcam with luvvvvv hahahaha SHE SO CUTE ^^ Super fun its the first time I really TALK to anyone via webcam lolol usually just on for fun only. Heh so its actually quite fun! Or maybe cuz it was her we were taking to hahahaha

And the rest's on top ! Okay I need to take a break now Im leaving in about 10hours time.. Hm. Quite excited though I am very tired and barely rested since I got home yesterday. Busy lorrrrr grrrr but you know what? Im lovin it !

How to plan the bintan thing and organize the xmas thingy and waik's house.....? :( So stressful zomgzomg