I wanted to blog this afternoon but goddamnit, blogger was down. Was full of stuff to release from my mind but now, ahh they're mostly gone. LOL.

Juniors' finals on wednesday- The girls lost, and thus settled for second place, while the guys won and emerged as champions. When the girls lost, I felt this overwhelming pain for them, but when I saw their happy faces, I stopped to think again. Does this title really mean so much, or does the effort and journey with the endless memories they went through together mean more? I am sure its the latter. Hence it didnt really matter I guess. They went through it, they tried, and they're happy. They felt the bond, they felt as a team, and regardless of what other people say, nothing matters ! :) Andddddd I feel happy for them too :)

I start to think back about the past, when results meant everything. Winning seemed like everything. Thoughts about how the most important thing should be about the experience, only came into my mind as a second option to fall back on when winning- the first option, didnt make it through. We kept fighting and fighting and fighting, to shine, to prove ourselves, to WIN, in every way we could- internally, externally.

After years of fighting, it was only till the last that I realised I didnt really wanna fight anymore. What I enjoyed, wasnt to win... It was something else. I guess thats how volleyball helps us to grow up? :) Nevertheless, Im happy for the juniors, they are always the champions in my heart :)

There hasnt been much peace at home lately, its been war from time to time and... I dont know whats going on through his brain. Yes we have conflicts, fights and arguments but from time to time, he does nothing to make up for whatever he has done- whether hes right or not. I used to side him all the time when he was say 10, when I felt that he isnt heard. But ever since he was able to really take control of his life and generate thoughts of his own, he hasnt exactly been the pleasant little boy I knew. Other than the perhaps, 7 years of his life where he didnt have control over, he was more a nasty guy than an adorable little boy. I will not discredit the 10% of the time where he is awesomely pleasant to be with. But other than that... I really dont know what to say.

I am not here trying to flame my brother or anything like that but... I just wish he knew. Turning 16 in 1 day's time does not give him the right to behave like that. Yes he can have his bad times but theres a limit to how far a person should go. Especially when hes totally in the wrong.

Because it is such a picture-less post, heres one from my photoshoot 2 weeks back :D I like that series alottttttttttttttt :) Sometimes its like, every chance is a opportunity given. Nothing should be taken for granted.